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Old 03-21-2024, 07:13 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
24,096 posts, read 32,443,737 times
Reputation: 68293

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Quote:
Originally Posted by bus man View Post
Probably the best way to fix it is to re-connect her access to your photo albums and offer a lame excuse about how you don't know how it happened, must have been a mistake, etc. Then just let things go. Give her some space to respond or not and see how things go. Then re-evaluate once some time has passed.

I will say, though, you are in the right for calling her out about her comments regarding your child-bearing plans and career choices. It's one thing to express an opinion, but once you're responded, that should be the end of it. She doesn't get to have any say over these things.
good advice.

 
Old 03-22-2024, 04:47 AM
 
30,141 posts, read 11,770,405 times
Reputation: 18654
Quote:
Originally Posted by shaws17 View Post
She then sent a text asking why she no longer can see any of my shared photo albums anymore. I haven’t responded back yet because I honestly don’t know how to respond tactfully. She has made “jokingly” comments on more than one occasion about living vicariously through me because I’m social and she’s not, and I often thought it was odd how annoyed she would get if I didn’t do something she agreed with, such as having kids or travel to some new location. She’d keep pressing and pressing the issue for days at a time. We both have been ghosted by people in our pasts and we both hate how it makes us feel, so I’m surprised that she’s acting like this and then shocked that I removed her from my shared material.

How should I respond to her latest question, or should I bother responding at all?

Sounds like a very unhealthy friendship. She was constantly criticizing you and now does not feel the need to converse regularly nor explain why. I think it was a little immature to block her from your shared photo albums. Why do that? Stop trying to micro manage your friendship with her. If she does not want to respond to your message that is her choice. Maybe she is busy or has other more pressing issues to deal with. Perhaps try to look at this from her perspective and not just yours. It could be something will happen that prompts you two to talk more in the future. Or maybe that won't happen.
 
Old 03-22-2024, 05:40 AM
 
Location: Military City, USA.
5,575 posts, read 6,500,449 times
Reputation: 17119
Didn't read this long, rambling, one paragraph post. Yet the question at the end was a separate paragraph. WT?
 
Old 03-22-2024, 06:35 AM
 
29 posts, read 19,182 times
Reputation: 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lodestar 77 View Post
Didn't read this long, rambling, one paragraph post. Yet the question at the end was a separate paragraph. WT?
I have apologized to everyone for the original post being difficult to read. I was upset and rushing when I wrote the post and didn't feel well.

Last edited by shaws17; 03-22-2024 at 06:44 AM..
 
Old 03-22-2024, 07:31 AM
 
Location: Fiorina "Fury" 161
3,526 posts, read 3,729,770 times
Reputation: 6596
People take umbrage with it, but I'm a big fan of "the fade" in situations like this after a lot of effort was shown and no reciprocity is being given. Especially after you asked for clarification if you did anything wrong and she still didn't respond to that. That's when I would have initiated the fade and stopped contacting her. If some contact came from her after that, I'd entertain it, but I would have already downgraded the status of our relationship.

There are a lot of tiny differences between friends that can build in the background over time that don't necessarily get discussed, and for that reason, the friendship grows apart. You have already stated several of those where she doesn't think you're doing what she would do, and she doesn't want to travel like you do, etc. The older you get, the bigger the Chasm of Differences grows and the growing apart stage begins anew. Sounds like that could be where you're at with her. Who knows?

You didn't state her status on significant other/marriage/kids on her end, if any, but it could also be guy problems. A big factor in friendships changing often includes people deciding to spend more time focusing their love life and/or family than on their friendships. Friendships can get de-prioritized as a result, even if there really isn't anything wrong. It's somewhat natural as life progresses.
 
Old 03-22-2024, 08:49 AM
 
Location: Arizona
743 posts, read 875,431 times
Reputation: 2139
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oklazona Bound View Post
Sounds like a very unhealthy friendship. She was constantly criticizing you and now does not feel the need to converse regularly nor explain why. I think it was a little immature to block her from your shared photo albums. Why do that? Stop trying to micro manage your friendship with her. If she does not want to respond to your message that is her choice. Maybe she is busy or has other more pressing issues to deal with. Perhaps try to look at this from her perspective and not just yours. It could be something will happen that prompts you two to talk more in the future. Or maybe that won't happen.

I think he did the right thing. She can't have it both ways. She refuses to communicate with the OP, yet asks why she can no longer see his photo albums? She would be history in my life. I don't have time for people like that. She made a choice and now she should have to live with it (no communication). She could've said any number of things to her "friend" of what, 15 years, yet she just cut off the OP.

I understand the OP just wants to know why. Unfortunately her silence is OP's answer. Leave her alone and maybe she'll come around. But I would let her make the first move/communication. Actual communication to the OP, not a text about a photo album.
 
Old 03-22-2024, 09:43 AM
 
3,942 posts, read 2,341,086 times
Reputation: 2077
Just, metaphorically, tell this so-called friend to kick rocks. This person is a time suck. You'll never get it back. Concentrate on important things in your life that are fulfilling.
 
Old 03-22-2024, 09:47 AM
 
1,196 posts, read 528,803 times
Reputation: 2813
The title of this thread gives some insight:

"How Do I Respond to a Friend Who Stopped Communicating?"

If she stopped communicating, there is nothing to respond to.
 
Old 03-22-2024, 09:58 AM
 
29 posts, read 19,182 times
Reputation: 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by Free-R View Post
People take umbrage with it, but I'm a big fan of "the fade" in situations like this after a lot of effort was shown and no reciprocity is being given. Especially after you asked for clarification if you did anything wrong and she still didn't respond to that. That's when I would have initiated the fade and stopped contacting her. If some contact came from her after that, I'd entertain it, but I would have already downgraded the status of our relationship.

There are a lot of tiny differences between friends that can build in the background over time that don't necessarily get discussed, and for that reason, the friendship grows apart. You have already stated several of those where she doesn't think you're doing what she would do, and she doesn't want to travel like you do, etc. The older you get, the bigger the Chasm of Differences grows and the growing apart stage begins anew. Sounds like that could be where you're at with her. Who knows?

You didn't state her status on significant other/marriage/kids on her end, if any, but it could also be guy problems. A big factor in friendships changing often includes people deciding to spend more time focusing their love life and/or family than on their friendships. Friendships can get de-prioritized as a result, even if there really isn't anything wrong. It's somewhat natural as life progresses.
She is single, has never been married, and hasn't had a relationship in about 10 years, but she desperately wants children. At one point, I asked her if she'd be open to child adoption, and she said she would if she had the money to do so. She said she "hates people" and that it doesn't matter if she never dates again as long as she could have a kid at some point. She loves children, and she was very adamant about me having some.

I appreciate everyone's opinions on this post and have considered the feedback. I'm far from perfect and sometimes can make overly emotional decisions, such as removing her from my digital albums. I also realize that she may perhaps have things going on that she's not ready/wanting/able to share. If she chooses to respond after my response to her about the photo albums, that's fine. If not, that's fine, too, and I'll have to accept that and move forward. If she ever responds, I will provide an update on this post.
 
Old 03-22-2024, 10:25 AM
 
Location: Arizona
743 posts, read 875,431 times
Reputation: 2139
Quote:
Originally Posted by considerforamoment View Post
The title of this thread gives some insight:

"How Do I Respond to a Friend Who Stopped Communicating?"

If she stopped communicating, there is nothing to respond to.
Your user name and comment are both brilliant.
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