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You didn't deserve that kind of reaction and I'm sorry you got it from the parents who raised you. Is there a chance of some sort of mental disorder or medical condition that would explain this crude, angry behavior?
Just take a few deep breaths and let it go - don't let it pollute you in any way okay?
Adopted dad, yes, he is on Paxil. Suffers anxiety attacks, had suffered depression. After he got Diabetes, he got REALLY mean. I have always associated the anger to Cujo. . remember the flick?
Adopted dad, yes, he is on Paxil. Suffers anxiety attacks, had suffered depression. After he got Diabetes, he got REALLY mean. I have always associated the anger to Cujo. . remember the flick?
Well...there's your answer Let it go - he's the sick one.
Jeepers - I saw the pics, but I didn't read the thread. But, I promise you, I am going to make the time to read through everything (well, at least your posts!) so I have a clue. Congratulations on finding your family!!!
How could it be more ugly when the child abuse never ceased into adulthood. . . that goes for anyone, not just myself. There are plenty of adults where the abuse failed to cease. Both emotional and physical. Consider yourself lucky that you did not grow up in a household to have to know the difference. Seriously.
How could it be more ugly when the child abuse never ceased into adulthood. . . that goes for anyone, not just myself. There are plenty of adults where the abuse failed to cease. Both emotional and physical. Consider yourself lucky that you did not grow up in a household to have to know the difference. Seriously.
Yes, child abuse does not necessarily stop when the child turns 18...hang in there...
Jeepgirl, I am so sorry your joy has been marred by your adoptive parent's words. Hopefully time will take the sting away & the happy times ahead will cause these sad memories to fade into the background.
Every time I witness verbal cruelty between relatives (it's in my family too), it seems the ones most vocal are really angriest at themselves. They know somewhere deep down that they have f***d up, but they lash out at others. How do your adoptive parents treat eachother?
Remember there are a lot of raw feelings right now on all 3 sides and when people are hurting it seems easier to lash out than embrace. Your parents may not have been the best choice but they did adopt & raise you. Attachments are there whether good or bad they are there. Your bio sibs are happy right now that you all have found each other but maybe in the dark of their home there could be (not saying there is) jealous or resentment towards you. You are torn because you felt cast off as an infant so probably grew up thinking it was all your fault when it wasn't. No child is at fault in situations like this, but how that child handles it or responds to it is when accountability for your part comes into to play.
I am not taking sides only offering an outsider's take on your situation see? No matter what your relationship was with your parents it has to hurt for you to denounce the adoption and change your name. I don't think they are handling or responding in an adult manner but they are hurting too in their own way I am sure.
Just remember when developing any relationship we all go through the "honeymoon" phase once it wears off we all have warts we don't like in others. All of us OK? Prayers for you all!
I'm happy you wrote this post. I read it in part to my sisters o a 3-way call last night and we talked about whether there were any possible deep seeded resentments. They said their two only regrets are that our mom is not alive to share in this with them ...and that they did not get to steal my clothes out of my closet growing up. They are grateful for the fact that they bypassed getting their hair pulled and picked on by me.
They both said that after having been told by the oldest how our mom slipped into a depression and was affected for years upon years over the adoption, they know it would be our moms only wish to cherish and embrace this coming together and that they could not imagine having it any other way. They are very happy and relieved that we're all back together - and they are outright livid and disgusted in my adopted parents behavior and treatment toward me. They were outraged when they were read their email.
They said the only thing in the positive about our mom not being here to see our reunion is that her knowing how the adopted p's are would drive her up the wall and would've made her very upset and would have added to her state of existing guilt and sorrow for giving me up. They said they cannot see any negatives (they are extremely family oriented and are together on a constant everyday it seems). They said in the future, we may disagree or argue, but they said that comes with being sisters, and said that they will not adopt me out again for it, said we will work through it. They said I am now stuck with them. It was very moving when they said it. Made me all watery eyed - was just what I needed to hear.
On day at a time. For now, this is a great start and this is a really special Christmas season for both my son and I. Still hard to believe sometimes, it's all still soaking in.
Thank you for your post. I am happy and relieved that I talked about it with them.
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Let it go - he's the sick one.
