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My dad died when I was 19, mom when I was 28. I've noticed my relationship has evolved even in their absence. As I age and watch my daughter grow, I find myself chuckling more and more as I realize what dad was really doing. When I was 19, I still had a bit of punk in me, so I was still kind of peevish about certain things.
My wife's parents are in their late 50s and still going strong. It's fun to watch them age. My father in law tells me that one day he's expecting me to walk in the door and for him to say: Jerry (dad's name), is that you? (He and my dad were friends.) The funny thing is, if he ever goes senile, he may very well think I am his old friend Jerry. I'll be about the age that dad was when they were friends when he's in his 70s.
Both of my parents are deceased. We had an extremely bad relationship until I moved 400 miles away. This was one of the best decisions I ever made. Having a phone relationship made it easier to have more control over a conversation and easier to extricate myself when I needed to. We became much closer because I was respected more for being out on my own and because we didn't have the strain of having confrontations all the time.
I consider my oldest sister to be my mom now. She is 12 yrs older than me and has ALWAYS been there for me. SHe is my sister, my mom, my role model and advisor. I honestly don't know where I would be without her. Even though she is 2000 miles away from me now, I feel very close to her.
I am very close with my mother & father. They brought us up with lots of love & discipline & we are all close (I have 2 brothers & a sister).
I help take care of them now as their health has limited them. I have noticed changes in my mom that I am not sure if I just never paid attention or if it is just something with age, but she has become more childlike and more defensive than she used to be.
My parents never intentionally showed favoritism, but my sister required more so she got more. Such as beauty pageants, cheerleading, etc..
All in all I have healthy relationships with my family.
I just have to be more careful about getting worked up over little, stupid things.
And this is why I asked!
My parents are nice people, they just do some things that leave me feeling bad and scratchin' my head. But then they'll turn around and be really nice again. My Mom, moreso than my Dad.
I don't know how to approach my Mom about it because I already know she'd turn it around and try and make me feel bad for bringing it up. But maybe it's time I took a try at that. It's funny 'cuz I'm always the one that, when someone has a problem with somebody, the first thing I say is, "did you talk to them about this?" yet I've played this conversation out time and time again in my head and I just know it's gonna go wrong; starting with my Mom crying, etc. But... I can't really give that advise if I don't use it too.
I do know my relationship with them could be WAY worse.. as some of you have posted up examples of that!
I think it can be harder talking to your parents than anyone else. Being rejected by a parent can be traumatizing. I cant speak from my own experience, but I have close friends who have been scarred by it. My own kids are experiencing something similar with their dad and they act like they dont care but I can see they really want a relationship with him. Its funny - no matter how old I get, and I am 44 - I am still the child. I still have that fear/respect for my dad and still dont want to disappoint him. I guess what I am saying is the inner child in us wants the love & approval of our parents. I dont think that is asking too much. You wont know until you ask...
I love them because they are my parents but I don't like nor respect them much.
My mother has the warmth of a stone..unless she needs something
My father spent so much time looking for his "get rich quick" schemes, he forgot to plan for his retirement and is pretty broke. He's a lovable cuss when he wants to be tho.
As I get older, I'm noticing my relationship with my parents getting more and more... ... if you will and I'm wondering if I'm in the minority.
Most of the time, when my folks do something lately it leaves me thinking "WTF?!??!" And reflecting back and wondering if they've always been this way or if it's something new for them to be acting this way towards me.
Just wondering what the relationship between you and your parents is like. If they're deceased, than what was your relationship like? Did you notice, as you got older that it took a turn in the complete opposite direction than what it was?
that sums up my parents very well. Both of my parents are in their mid 70's. They fight over the stupidest things, times, dates, who did what-it boggles my mind. They have seperate remote controls for the tv. One changes the channel the other one lowers the volume then changes the channel back. I usually just describe my parents as crazy. I visit them maybe once every month or two, I call it putting my time in.
My father and I are very close. He is a great father, grandfather, father in law and friend. He has been able to treat me like an adult instead of his little girl which seems rare when I see some of my friends relationships with their fathers. We can talk politics (even though we disagree most of the time) but we respect each others stance. The only time we clash is when he has the tv on too loud since he is almost completely deaf! Drives me nutty!
My mother and I have not seen each other in over 5 years. Recently we have been talking and trying to work through some things that have been difficult. This may never happen as she has Borderline Personality Disorder, but if I can keep a healthy distance we may be able to salvage something.
I can sort of relate. My father and I got along better. He is now deceased. He was smart but, because he and I both had a strong personality, we sometimes clashed. My mother works very well in "checked out" mode. Maybe this is "bordlerlinish," but she doesn't want to see most people and most things for what they really are, and I'm too much of a realist, so we clash. I sort of raised myself.
I have always had an excellent relationship with both my parents. They have always been my best friends too. As I get older, and they come closer to facing their mortality, I have become more understanding of them. I make an extra effort to let them know how important they have and always will be to me. I let them both know that if it wasn't for them, their teachings, their insights and wisdom, I wouldn't be the man I am today. I still try to learn everything I can from them. I'm very fortunate and for the life of me can't understand how any person could have a lesser relationship with their parents. Boggles the mind.
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... if you will and I'm wondering if I'm in the minority. 
. I usually just describe my parents as crazy. I visit them maybe once every month or two, I call it putting my time in.
