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I have been keeping in touch with a close friend from college via Christmas Cards and email for over 20 years, but have not spoken to him in over 15 years and have not seen him in over 20. Now he has decided it is time to bring the family of eight to Washington DC this summer. He lives in Idaho.
He emailed me and asked if we can put him and his family up for four nights. They would be happy to sleep on the floor. How would you respond?
If I liked the guy and his kids seemed nice and I didn't have to entertain and feed the lot for four days, I'd probably say yes. We're on a tight budget and could simply not afford to take them anywhere. But if they just wanted to visit a little bit and have a place to sleep, while they went out and entertained themselves during the day (paid for their own museum trips, taxicabs, etc.), then sure.
But if it sounded like a big hassle, mess or expense, I'd just say, "Oh wow, thanks for thinking of us! I'm so sorry, but we just can't that weekend. We'd love to see you, though--can I help you find a motel or something around here?"
Besides is he coming to see you or just not wanting to pay for a hotel or is he plannign on moving to DC and looking at places? Idk you have to be careful who you let stay in your house especially since he is basically a stranger...he may not want to leave and try and guilt you into letting him stay
That doesn't sound good at all, and is VERY presumptous of him to even ask. I would simply say you are really not set up for that many people and are not sure you are comfortable with that. Apologize and say you feel it would be more comfortable for all if they got a motel room.
Since you've not seen him in 20 years, you don't know if he's developed a case of "sticky finger syndrome" or if any of the other 7 have that disease either. I would just do as Nancy Reagan tells me ... Just Say NO!
Location: Greater Los Angeles area (unfortunately)
177 posts, read 758,133 times
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That's totally rude and WAY too many people to cram into your house. I don't understand when people think they can just invite themselves over without consideration for your space. Politely tell them you don't have the room, or (if you wanna lie) the house is being fumigated, or something like that.
And four nights? That's a bit much to ask. I would only let extremely close friends stay over with that many people for that long. Actually, with that many kids, honestly I don't even think I'd do that.
Location: Greater Los Angeles area (unfortunately)
177 posts, read 758,133 times
Reputation: 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by YBF
Besides is he coming to see you or just not wanting to pay for a hotel or is he plannign on moving to DC and looking at places? Idk you have to be careful who you let stay in your house especially since he is basically a stranger...he may not want to leave and try and guilt you into letting him stay
This is a good point too! Beware of friends staying with you "til they find a place." One of my best friends did just that. She broke every rule we politely asked her to follow and then topped it off by stealing my wife's wedding ring. Classy girl, that one.
Since you haven't spoken to him in 15 years I would say no. It's hard to really get a good vibe and know a person from emails and Christmas cards. You don't know how much he's maybe really changed and it would be horrible to find out night one that you can't stand him!
That's just a lot of people! Now a couple of summers ago, one of my childhood friends and her family (total of 5) came for a visit. I had not seen her in YEARS until the high school reunion the summer before when we went back home. My husband and her really hit it off. We were able to get to know them again and get to know their kids. (And we stayed in a hotel and didn't ask to stay with them!).
We offered for them to come visit and stay. They all slept on the floor for I think 3 days. Turned out great. But my situation seems to be a whole different story than yours. They also didn't expect us to feed them or entertain them, although we did take them around for sightseeing. And WE offered.
If you are hesitating but not wanting to offend, maybe you could say that you'd love to have them for one night, but unfortunately have other commitments for the rest of the time, then like others said, give hotel suggestions. I would be afraid that you'd end of feeding them, entertaining them etc. It's amazing how when someone asks to stay at your house so they can save money, it doesn't occur to them that it cost YOU money! You gas, electric, water, etc. (especially with that many people!). Even small meals like breakfast - adds up.
Do what you want to do. If you'd enjoy his company, then invite him to stay. If not,tell him you don't have room but you'd be happy to help him find a hotel nearby.
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