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Many of us are forced into social settings with people we do not like but need their cooperation and help to make it in this world. These may include:
The blowhard boss who you need his help to move ahead in your career
Your father in law or mother in law who you despise but act nice to for your spouse
Coworkers you share an office with who are very noisy and unpleasant but you do not want to make waves
Clients and customers who you need to get your job done but expect you to be sociable to them
Neighbors and friends of friends
Regardless of who they are, what techniques do you use to act nice and not let on that you despise them?
If you allow someone to give you ****, then they will continue to give you **** as long as you know them.
So in the case of people I'll never see again, or personality flaws that do not offend me, I just smile and let it slide. In the case of habitual line-crossers, I try to stick to my guns regardless of the short term consequences or risk.
You ask about "technique", this depends on the reason that you despise the person. I don't despise people because they are my neighbors, or because they expect me to be sociable with them, or any benign reason like that. You mention a blowhard boss, well, you call him on his B.S. If you have noisy co-workers you tell them to be quiet. The solution to these problems is usually simple but difficult.
With people at work, I remind myself that it's business and not personal. Everywhere, we will run into colleagues who are: incompetent, backbiters, traitors, slackers, or what not. We need to protect ourselves of course, but we also need to learn not to let their nonsense get to us.
I have learned that it is very liberating to be able to leave the stresses and headaches of work, including those caused by pain in the ass coworkers, the moment I stand up and leave for the day. It'll all be there when I come back the next morning; no need to let it affect my personal time.
As for the rest:
- friends of friends I do not like: I make it very clear to my friends that I do not like those friends' friends and will not socialize with them, and also specify I need not be invited if that person/persons are going to be there. If it's someone in my social circle but he/she becomes too annoying/irritating/what not, I cut them off. Clean, one-shot deal, done. No need to go through the aggravation.
- neighbors: I just smile and go my way. I am not particular fond of any of my neighbors and keep to myself; I leave them alone and expect to be treated the same way.
- clients/customers: can't relate as I luckily don't have that now; I did before, so I just smiled, went along, and went home as fast as I could once the engagement was over.
- in-laws: not married.
Regardless of who they are, what techniques do you use to act nice and not let on that you despise them?
Unfortunately, I don't have one. When I don't like you, you'll pretty much know it because I won't speak to or deal with you unless I necessarily HAVE to. I just cannot act phoney. That's a pet peeve of mine. Can't stand phoney acting folks. Keep it movin' with all that fake actin' mess...
Unfortunately, I don't have one. When I don't like you, you'll pretty much know it because I won't speak to or deal with you unless I necessarily HAVE to. I just cannot act phoney. That's a pet peeve of mine. Can't stand phoney acting folks. Keep it movin' with all that fake actin' mess...
Dealing with people is not fake it sometimes boils down to strategy. There are times when engagement is absolutely necessary and to ignore a person you need to deal with is cutting off your nose to spite your face.
Dealing with people is not fake it sometimes boils down to strategy. There are times when engagement is absolutely necessary and to ignore a person you need to deal with is cutting off your nose to spite your face.
You obviously didn't read my post correctly. I said, if I necessarily HAVE to engage, I will. But, it will only be about whatever it is I need them for. That's it.
Location: I never said I was perfect so no refunds here sorry!
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I suppose the curious thought here is why do we have to dislike anyone at all. All of us control to a large degree who we share our environment with. Not discounting the fact that there are people we choose not to spend as much time with as we do others. Those are choices we all make daily but to suggest there is a dislike or hatred for those folks I think speaks negativey about us as a society in general. If we could get beyond those or that type of behavior it would be such a nicer world to live in......Just looking at the glass half full I guess
You obviously didn't read my post correctly. I said, if I necessarily HAVE to engage, I will. But, it will only be about whatever it is I need them for. That's it.
I read it and was just commenting further, but thank you for pointing out your concern about my lack of comprehension.
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I just cannot act phoney. That's a pet peeve of mine. Can't stand phoney acting folks. Keep it movin' with all that fake actin' mess...
...Just looking at the glass half full I guess 
