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As a divorced, now remarried, mother of 3, I would laugh at any man who said "...don't look for child support." Don't give up child support to move. You will need that money and he should pay it. That is his obligation and legal responsibility.
As your children grow, the expenses will as well. Not just because of the cost of living but because teenagers cost more to raise than small children. There will be sports, school activities, field trips,clothes, the movies, dinners out, dating, a car, car insurance, the list goes on and on. Their father should be helping with these things and the law is there to make sure he does.
My ex lives in Texas and I live in Florida. He still has to pay and in fact, I just took him back to court and got $500. more per month.
young lady don't be scard of the move !! you have nothing but a future here and your x husband has been your push to go. if said don't look for support for his kids in nc you have been throuhg the tough part the rest is all down hill. go for it look in the hickory area it has a big city feel with lots of good things going for it look around it (maiden,lincoln,catawba,denver) you will do fine.
I just want to say that we moved our family here from the Boston area several years ago...and it's the best thing we ever did. At the time, my children were 11, 9, and 4. My daughter (11) cried the whole way down here saying, "I can't believe you're doing this to me!" LOL Now she is in 10th grade and absolutely loves it here--her new friends, the schools, her neighborhood. She loves to go back and visit Boston with all its adventure and fun, but for day to day living, she's got it made here. It's easy to make friends here because it seems like most families are new to the area--both parents and children are looking to establish new relationships. If I can help you with any local info, I'd be happy to!
dluther you are so right we moved here 8 mons ago and already my kids (11 & 12) feel like they have been here from birth they love the new friends and have no desirer to go back up north.
I am moving at the end of June, I want my daughter to finish her school year out here in DC. My ex-husband is really about himself right now even to the point of saying "...dont look for child support in NC..." I am really doing this to make a better life for me and my kids. Financially I have noticed that while the cost of living is much better than DC the pay range is really different as well (which is to be expected) research is well underway and ongoing. That is what brought me to this site, so comments and suggestions are welcomed!
Do you have a lawyer? A good lawyer will help you with the child support. Your ex has no right to tell you that. It's not about you, it's about your kids. He owes it to his kids to help with their expenses. Don't let him bully you into letting him out of child support. Take it from me (someone you don't even know ) - this is something you should work very hard on. Assuming there are no legal problems with taking the kids to NC, it sounds like you'd be better off being away from that man if he's already threatening you with child support. I know nothing about your situation, so take this for what it's worth, but I think there's a good chance you'd be happy raising kids in NC.
Depending on your profession, it may be take a while to find a job. Also, based on some comments on this board, many employers aren't interested in hiring out of state people. But if you can overcome that, and find a job and clear things up with your lawyer re: moving the kids, I bet you'll do great.
I am moving at the end of June, I want my daughter to finish her school year out here in DC. My ex-husband is really about himself right now even to the point of saying "...dont look for child support in NC..." I am really doing this to make a better life for me and my kids. Financially I have noticed that while the cost of living is much better than DC the pay range is really different as well (which is to be expected) research is well underway and ongoing. That is what brought me to this site, so comments and suggestions are welcomed!
I have a news flash for your ex-husband, if you have a court order in place for child support, NC will enforce it to the point of taking his driver's license if he doesn't pay it. Well, I say that for a certainity if he were also in North Carolina. But I would think that they will look for him and attempt to enforce his court ordered child support. My former foster child's mother has another child whose father is in Virginia and they are forever after him about his child support. And they also don't have a problem locking his behind up either when he gets behind. Like she said, don't let him bully you. Those kids deserve the support. I understand how you feel but I let my ex bully me to the point that my kids did without a lot of things just to keep peace. Try to formulate a game plan. The different areas of the state, coastal, piedmont and mountains vary greatly in climate and other factors. I live in the east. But that is also the less economically stable place in the state. The piedmont with Raleigh, Chapel Hill, Durham, Greensboro and some of the larger cities are better for professional people. Greenville, NC in the east has a huge hospital and is great if you are in the medical field. Also be aware that the east can and does get hit by hurricanes often. Last year was a piece of cake. Nothing hit us or anyone else for that matter. But we were in an El Nino pattern that is gone now. And remember it can be 70 degrees in the east in April and 32 in the mountains on the same day. So like I said the climate varies greatly as well. I would start by deciding where I wanted to live in terms of near the coast or somewhere in between the piedmont and the mountains. Then I would develop that into large city, small town or out and out rural with a larger town/city close by. Once you get that into your head, then we can narrow it down. PM me if you like. I would be happy to help you out.
Lorrie, first of all kudos to you. So many of us let our fear of the unknown prevent us from taking a life changing plunge I admire you for your bravery. I can relate (slightly) to what you're going through. My husband is a pilot and we've moved (I should say I've moved, he was always conveniently away at training during the process) several times over the past few years. It's scary when you think of leaving your support system behind, but concentrate your search for housing in areas where there are obvious signs of other children. Our kids are excellent at developing support systems. Do your homework, post lots of questions in the Raleigh forum and you'll be surprised at how much info you'll get. Lastly, the first few weeks will be the worst. You'll feel like you've made a huge mistake and you'll want to go home but remember it will pass. Commit to a certain period of time to try and adjust, if you and the children are still unhappy then you can at least say that you tried. Please forgive me but it sounds as if your ex is using the threat of child support as a leverage tool. Have all of your legal issues in place before you move. I wish you and your family luck and I'm cheering you on the whole way!
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LOL Now she is in 10th grade and absolutely loves it here--her new friends, the schools, her neighborhood. She loves to go back and visit Boston with all its adventure and fun, but for day to day living, she's got it made here. It's easy to make friends here because it seems like most families are new to the area--both parents and children are looking to establish new relationships. If I can help you with any local info, I'd be happy to!
) - this is something you should work very hard on. Assuming there are no legal problems with taking the kids to NC, it sounds like you'd be better off being away from that man if he's already threatening you with child support. I know nothing about your situation, so take this for what it's worth, but I think there's a good chance you'd be happy raising kids in NC.
a little encouragement...
