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I believe what the OP meant was that he/she has never been married before.
That is exactly what I meant - sorry! I realized afterward that it probably didn't sound good! This will be my fiance's second marriage. I'm in my 40s, so def. plan this to be my only marriage!
Like several other people here, I'd have to say that you're budget doesn't seem to allow for a "traditional" wedding with a standard venue and reception in addition to rings, dress, honeymoon, etc.
That said, it doesn't mean you can't have a great wedding anyway. Remember, a wedding is only a brief ceremony (which doesn't have to be expensive) followed by a celebration with your friends and family. Don't get hung up on all the trappings (most of which have relatively little meaning anyway).
I find it depressing to go to weddings where I think a young couple is going into debt to have a ceremony. I'd find it refreshing to go to a young person's wedding in which the brides and brides wore white sundresses instead of hyperexpensive "wedding" clothes and dyed shoes they'll never wear again. I'd have more fun if the bride and groom reserved tables for 50 at the local crab house cracking crabs and drinking beer than eating mediocre hotel food. If you have a friend who is an amateur photographer, see if he or she can take your wedding photos. You can buy nice stationery and have a friend with good handwriting do your invitations by hand instead of hiring a printer or engraver. Cake prices seem to go up exponentially when you attach the word "wedding." And although they usually look good, they often don't taste particularly special. There's no reason you can't go to a great bakery and buy a regular cake. The same goes for buying regular flowers from a florist. Also, I'll let you in on a secret: There's nothing traditional about a diamond engagement ring. That is a completely phony "tradition" made up by the marketing guys ad DeBeers.
My advice is to have a simple ceremony and then forget most of the wedding reception "rules" and throw the kind of party you'd throw for 50 or 60 friends if you won a couple of thousand bucks in the lottery. I mentioned the crab house, but maybe you have friends with a great yard who'll let you do a wedding barbecue or whatever else seems like fun to you. Throw in a cake and a bottle of champagne and the other trappings if you want. Keep your ring and your honeymoon modest and then upgrade when you're in a position to do so.
You don't have a lot of money to spend, so don't pretend. Throw a great but inexpensive party and have fun. Trust me, your friends will probably have more fun than if you spent ten times the money on another wedding and reception just like everyone else's.
Like several other people here, I'd have to say that you're budget doesn't seem to allow for a "traditional" wedding with a standard venue and reception in addition to rings, dress, honeymoon, etc.
That said, it doesn't mean you can't have a great wedding anyway. Remember, a wedding is only a brief ceremony (which doesn't have to be expensive) followed by a celebration with your friends and family. Don't get hung up on all the trappings (most of which have relatively little meaning anyway).
I find it depressing to go to weddings where I think a young couple is going into debt to have a ceremony. I'd find it refreshing to go to a young person's wedding in which the brides and brides wore white sundresses instead of hyperexpensive "wedding" clothes and dyed shoes they'll never wear again. I'd have more fun if the bride and groom reserved tables for 50 at the local crab house cracking crabs and drinking beer than eating mediocre hotel food. If you have a friend who is an amateur photographer, see if he or she can take your wedding photos. You can buy nice stationery and have a friend with good handwriting do your invitations by hand instead of hiring a printer or engraver. Cake prices seem to go up exponentially when you attach the word "wedding." And although they usually look good, they often don't taste particularly special. There's no reason you can't go to a great bakery and buy a regular cake. The same goes for buying regular flowers from a florist. Also, I'll let you in on a secret: There's nothing traditional about a diamond engagement ring. That is a completely phony "tradition" made up by the marketing guys ad DeBeers.
My advice is to have a simple ceremony and then forget most of the wedding reception "rules" and throw the kind of party you'd throw for 50 or 60 friends if you won a couple of thousand bucks in the lottery. I mentioned the crab house, but maybe you have friends with a great yard who'll let you do a wedding barbecue or whatever else seems like fun to you. Throw in a cake and a bottle of champagne and the other trappings if you want. Keep your ring and your honeymoon modest and then upgrade when you're in a position to do so.
You don't have a lot of money to spend, so don't pretend. Throw a great but inexpensive party and have fun. Trust me, your friends will probably have more fun than if you spent ten times the money on another wedding and reception just like everyone else's.
Wise words here.
I've recently been to two expensive weddings. One where the bride and groom had a ton of money, they other where the wedding put them into debt. About both weddings: the cake was not good. So, go to a local bakery and get cupcakes. Haven't had a bad one yet from any of the cupcake bakeries and I've been to a few! Flowers--you only need a bouquet. Your attendants don't need them and guests don't care about them at tables either.
Also, don't think you have to serve a plated meal. These are never good when mass produced. A buffet style of finger foods tends to be more tasty. Or, as the post above states, go somewhere where they serve one good thing and get that. However, serving 50-60 people anything is probably going to break your budget so try to come up with a different idea with regard to food.
Congratulations and best wishes for a great wedding and a happy life together!
IMHO, neither the greatness of your wedding, nor the happiness of your life together will be dependent on spending a lot of money.
Thank you! And thanks to everyone for your help; you've given me lots of great leads. I knew about the Fairfax County properties and will likely go that route, although some of the properties can be rather restrictive in their use. It sort of feels pathetic that all this is riding on my tax return (lol), so this all helps me to not feel so bad that this is all I can do! And I agree about bridesmaids dresses, dyed shoes, etc. Ugh.
Like several other people here, I'd have to say that you're budget doesn't seem to allow for a "traditional" wedding with a standard venue and reception in addition to rings, dress, honeymoon, etc.
That said, it doesn't mean you can't have a great wedding anyway. Remember, a wedding is only a brief ceremony (which doesn't have to be expensive) followed by a celebration with your friends and family. Don't get hung up on all the trappings (most of which have relatively little meaning anyway).
I find it depressing to go to weddings where I think a young couple is going into debt to have a ceremony. I'd find it refreshing to go to a young person's wedding in which the brides and brides wore white sundresses instead of hyperexpensive "wedding" clothes and dyed shoes they'll never wear again. I'd have more fun if the bride and groom reserved tables for 50 at the local crab house cracking crabs and drinking beer than eating mediocre hotel food. If you have a friend who is an amateur photographer, see if he or she can take your wedding photos. You can buy nice stationery and have a friend with good handwriting do your invitations by hand instead of hiring a printer or engraver. Cake prices seem to go up exponentially when you attach the word "wedding." And although they usually look good, they often don't taste particularly special. There's no reason you can't go to a great bakery and buy a regular cake. The same goes for buying regular flowers from a florist. Also, I'll let you in on a secret: There's nothing traditional about a diamond engagement ring. That is a completely phony "tradition" made up by the marketing guys ad DeBeers.
My advice is to have a simple ceremony and then forget most of the wedding reception "rules" and throw the kind of party you'd throw for 50 or 60 friends if you won a couple of thousand bucks in the lottery. I mentioned the crab house, but maybe you have friends with a great yard who'll let you do a wedding barbecue or whatever else seems like fun to you. Throw in a cake and a bottle of champagne and the other trappings if you want. Keep your ring and your honeymoon modest and then upgrade when you're in a position to do so.
You don't have a lot of money to spend, so don't pretend. Throw a great but inexpensive party and have fun. Trust me, your friends will probably have more fun than if you spent ten times the money on another wedding and reception just like everyone else's.
Spoken like a man, a very tight one!
Diamond rings aren't traditional? Wealthy brides in colonial Virginia had diamond rings, 400 years ago, although they weren't common until the late 1800's. The earliest one was in the 1477! Engagement ring - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia That sounds pretty darn traditional to me!
Dyed shoes for bridesmaids went out of vogue sometime around 1975. But most brides still want a gown, but I don't expect a man to understand that.
Generally the bride's parents pay for the wedding, not the young couple who is getting married. Lots of boomers have money saved for their daughters' weddings and are happy to spend it! I recently went to a wedding like that, cost well into the six figures and Mom and Dad were happy to spend it and intend to do it for 3 more daughters. The 26/28 year old couple make buckets of money, so they had plenty to spend on her diamonds and a 2 week Honeymoon trip to Hawaii. Not everyone in their 20's is struggling.
The ones I feel sorry for are those who want the big wedding with all the trimmings, like their friends have had, but can't possibly afford it, and don't have parents who are willing/able to help.
Not everyone wants all that, and small weddings can also be very lovely.
Diamond rings aren't traditional? Wealthy brides in colonial Virginia had diamond rings, 400 years ago, although they weren't common until the late 1800's. The earliest one was in the 1477! Engagement ring - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia That sounds pretty darn traditional to me!
Dyed shoes for bridesmaids went out of vogue sometime around 1975. But most brides still want a gown, but I don't expect a man to understand that.
Generally the bride's parents pay for the wedding, not the young couple who is getting married. Lots of boomers have money saved for their daughters' weddings and are happy to spend it! I recently went to a wedding like that, cost well into the six figures and Mom and Dad were happy to spend it and intend to do it for 3 more daughters. The 26/28 year old couple make buckets of money, so they had plenty to spend on her diamonds and a 2 week Honeymoon trip to Hawaii. Not everyone in their 20's is struggling.
The ones I feel sorry for are those who want the big wedding with all the trimmings, like their friends have had, but can't possibly afford it, and don't have parents who are willing/able to help.
Not everyone wants all that, and small weddings can also be very lovely.
Did you actually read the Wikipedia article?
"Engagement rings didn't become standard in the West until the end of the 19th century, and diamond rings didn't become common until the 1930s."
"The idea that a man should spend a significant fraction of his annual income for an engagement ring originated from De Beers marketing materials in the early 20th century, in an effort to increase the sale of diamonds.[1] In the 1930s, they suggested that a man should spend the equivalent of one month's income in the engagement ring; later they suggested that he should spend two months' income on it."
I'm glad your friends have "buckets of money" and their parents pay for their "well into the six figures" weddings. The OP has made it clear that she isn't in that position. She (wisely) doesn't want to go into debt for her wedding. Given her situation, expensive rings and some of the other trappings that wedding magazines and the wedding industry tell brides are "musts" seem like a reasonable place for her to save money.
Am I tight? Maybe. I did give my wife a diamond engagement ring (as part of a set of wedding jewelry) and we spent quite a bit of money on our wedding and honeymoon. But we were both older and in a position to afford them. (And we were in a position to afford them because we didn't spend money we didn't have when we were younger.) If I were just starting out, and didn't have parents paying for my wedding, I'd do exactly what the OP is doing. I'd have a great time with what money I had and I wouldn't need people calling me tight. And I absolutely stand by the concept that how much money you spend is unrelated to how much fun people have (and how long the marriage lasts).
I gave my wife a moissanite ring for the engagement ring, looks like diamond (imo it looks better too) and you can get bigger sizes for the money. She loved it!
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Flowers--you only need a bouquet. Your attendants don't need them and guests don't care about them at tables either.
I did give my wife a diamond engagement ring (as part of a set of wedding jewelry) and we spent quite a bit of money on our wedding and honeymoon. But we were both older and in a position to afford them. (And we were in a position to afford them because we didn't spend money we didn't have when we were younger.) If I were just starting out, and didn't have parents paying for my wedding, I'd do exactly what the OP is doing. I'd have a great time with what money I had and I wouldn't need people calling me tight. And I absolutely stand by the concept that how much money you spend is unrelated to how much fun people have (and how long the marriage lasts).
