Etiquette Question--What do You Call Your Vet? (credit, bill)

[Carlingtonian]

Curious to find out what others think on this. We've been taking pets to our fantastic veterinarian (who's about my age) for a few years now. I always feel a bit funny that he calls me by my surname ("Mr. Tonian," of course)--but I always respond in kind. To me this all feels overly formal; I recognize that vets are real doctors and respect their skills greatly. But the "vibe" of a veterinary practice to me feels inherently more intimate and informal, since they're dealing with your pets. The interaction is very friendly and folksy. And that he's around my age to me makes the formality feel a bit unnatural.

I've always called him "Dr. [surname]" I guess because I'm used to addressing human doctors that way--but then I always feel funny when he calls me by my last name or even "Sir," and I've even said "Please call me Carl"--but still it's "Mr. Tonian" (ha) every time. I wonder if he's doing that because I'm calling him by his surname, and he thinks I prefer the formality. Or is his use of formal address a signal HE prefers surnames--even though our interaction is very lighthearted and familiar? And yet when he leaves a voicemail, he identifies himself as, say, "John Doe," rather than "Dr. Doe."

How do you guys address your vets?

(I'll post this here in the NoVA Forum on the reasoning that there are regional differences in etiquette, and there is no manners forum on City-Data.)

Thanks for any thoughts.

[choff5]

We were with the same wonderful vet for almost 30 years and I always called her Dr._____. I think she did the same to us, meaning Mrs. Some people like the formality. The absolutely wonderful swim coach my sons had when they were growing up always called all parents by Mr. or Mrs. despite how well he knew them and that we all called him by his first name. He was "old European" and once said that he always respected the parents and would use Mr. And Mrs. no matter what we said.

[spencgr]

I'm so close to my vet that I can just call her (I have her cell number), explain the issue and ask if I can administer one of the various dog drugs I already have in my possession. We've communicated (via phone, email, or in person) at least once a week for about a year and a half.

That being said, I still address her as "Dr. So and So", and she still addresses me as "Mrs. So and So".

I agree; it feels weird. But she seems to always initiate the formality, so I will continue.

(btw, my my human primary care person is a Nurse Practitioner.....and I have no idea what to call her. "Nurse So and So"?)

[Carlingtonian]

Thank you both! I must just be weird then.

I wonder if anyone splits the difference and uses "Dr. [Firstname]."

[Ffxdata]

I do Dr. First Name with all my vets. Our first was a personal friend but also my senior. My parents would call him First Name. I would use The above. My current refers to himself as Dr. First Name.

[ChristineVA]

I've always called mine Dr. Surname. The vet calls both my husband and me by our first names. My husband has even played racquetball with the vet a few times so not sure what he did in that case. When the vet calls us, he always says Hi, this John Surname.

[Bigfoot424]

Usually Doc but Bill for one that I became good friends with as he was treating all of our police K9's for years.

[Carlingtonian]

Thanks, all. Guess I will just keep going with the "Dr. Surname" address for him and just get over being called Mr. by him. I'm just not a very formal guy, I guess.

(And yet random customer-service people on the phone from the bank or credit-card company will call me by my first name, which in that case I think is a little familiar.)

Happy new year to everyone, btw.

[Listener2307]

Steven. But then sometimes I get Glen, who actually owns the clinic.
My chiropractor is named Bob.
Dentist? Joe.

And they're all fine with that.

But I called my MD, "Frank" one time. He obviously did not expect it; didn't appear to like it much, so I started calling him Dr Frank.

[Carlingtonian]

Originally Posted by Listener2307

Steven. But then sometimes I get Glen, who actually owns the clinic.
My chiropractor is named Bob.
Dentist? Joe.

And they're all fine with that.

But I called my MD, "Frank" one time. He obviously did not expect it; didn't appear to like it much, so I started calling him Dr Frank.

Interesting. I go to one specialist whom I address as "Dr. Surname," even though he calls me by my first name yet identifies himself as "Dr. Surname" on voicemail. Strangely, I'm totally fine with it, because he's about double my age.