Scene in the Maryland/NOVA suburbs - thoughts? (Richmond, Arlington: weddings, college)

[kxr203]

Hey everybody,

I just posted this over in the Maryland (DC suburbs) section and needed to bring this over here too to get some thoughts. I have a few friends in the DC area and picked their brains about this, but I'm curious to find out what others who live in the area have in mind.

These are two of the most consistent things that I keep hearing about DC in general:
1) A lot of people seem to stay in the area for their careers for about 2-5 years...then pick up and move somewhere else.
2) The dating scene, as I'm told, sucks. Everyone either is too busy to actually make a half-hearted attempt at dating, or they're looking to gain something for themselves (or meet an "insider" of some kind) when meeting someone. If the relationship doesn't benefit them in any way, those people just fade away and move on to the next one.

But what about outside of DC proper? How's the dating/social scene in Bethesda, Silver Spring, Arlington, Alexandria, etc...? What, if anything, makes them better (or worse) than DC itself? Are there any particular areas you would recommend for a single black male professional in his mid-30's, whether it's inside or outside DC?

[spencgr]

You have a lot of generalizations going on.

Yes, a lot of people leave; but a lot of people stay, too.

Yes, some people have trouble dating, but I've been to numerous weddings (none divorced yet) where people met in this area.

These two questions are really about your own personality and your outlook on life.

[spencgr]

Sorry..duplicate post

[kxr203]

Like I said, I'm just relaying things that I consistently hear about DC proper...not my own personal opinions. I wanted to get people's thoughts on this, but particularly about outside of DC.

[HomesForAllVA]

I've lived in the area for 26 years year (and love it)! I had intended to be here for 2-3 but got sucked in. It is a popular area for recent college grads to come who are looking for good work with decent pay and yes - many choose to leave. However, I'm still friends with a majority of the people I met 26 years ago so obviously there are people who find their place and stay long term.

As for dating, I've been with my hubby for 14 years so take this as opinion. (Although I still have a lot of single friends!) A majority of the professionals in the DC area are just that - professional. They take their jobs and careers seriously so although I know many people who met the old fashioned way (bars, clubs, etc) I probably know more who met their partners/spouses online via match, plenty of fish, etc... Meet-ups are also super popular around here and you can find just about any group for any interest you may have.

As for good locations to live and go out - the are pockets of robust nightlife all over NoVA. You just have to look for it. Tysons is alive and well and packed with young professionals. Same with the entire Clarendon/Ballston corridor. Reston Town Center also has a good night life and is slightly older than Clarendon/Ballston area. The new Mosaic District in Merrifield also has a lot of activity. You have to kind of find what appeals to you. Have fun!

[dkf747]

Can't answer about the dating scene because I was already married when I got here. We came for 2-3 years back in 1997. We're still here. We have moved 4 or 5 times, but always in the DC area.

[frostopsy]

Well, I got stuck there for 6 years, but 2-5 seems to be the norm. I'm happy I was able to move when I did. Dating scene was OK... I found it kind of like networking. Seems like everyone asked what you do and where at. I thought it was pretty lame. There are people that want an actual relationship, but the rumors are pretty much true.

Can't tell you what to do as an AA, depends what your taste of women is.

[rmm0484]

Originally Posted by kxr203

Hey everybody,

I just posted this over in the Maryland (DC suburbs) section and needed to bring this over here too to get some thoughts. I have a few friends in the DC area and picked their brains about this, but I'm curious to find out what others who live in the area have in mind.

These are two of the most consistent things that I keep hearing about DC in general:
1) A lot of people seem to stay in the area for their careers for about 2-5 years...then pick up and move somewhere else.
2) The dating scene, as I'm told, sucks. Everyone either is too busy to actually make a half-hearted attempt at dating, or they're looking to gain something for themselves (or meet an "insider" of some kind) when meeting someone. If the relationship doesn't benefit them in any way, those people just fade away and move on to the next one.

But what about outside of DC proper? How's the dating/social scene in Bethesda, Silver Spring, Arlington, Alexandria, etc...? What, if anything, makes them better (or worse) than DC itself? Are there any particular areas you would recommend for a single black male professional in his mid-30's, whether it's inside or outside DC?

Do you just want casual dates, or do you want to meet someone? I was single until I was nearly 40, but I met my husband on a bike trail. My own personal experience is you do not meet nice people to go out with at bars, unless it is meeting them in a group gathering at the bar. You will find them at work (tread with caution here), church, the supermarket, weddings, meetup groups, volunteering, and just being out and about.

My point is the premise of "scene" itself leads to shallowness. As long as you know what it is, then enjoy it for what it is and no more!

If I were younger and still single, I would live in Clarendon, Reston, Capitol Hill near Eastern Market, Bethesda, Annapolis, etc. Baltimore and Frederick have some great locations as well. Richmond is also good, but these last few are casting your net a little wider....

[Fallout Zone]

Originally Posted by kxr203

Hey everybody,

I just posted this over in the Maryland (DC suburbs) section and needed to bring this over here too to get some thoughts. I have a few friends in the DC area and picked their brains about this, but I'm curious to find out what others who live in the area have in mind.

These are two of the most consistent things that I keep hearing about DC in general:
1) A lot of people seem to stay in the area for their careers for about 2-5 years...then pick up and move somewhere else.
2) The dating scene, as I'm told, sucks. Everyone either is too busy to actually make a half-hearted attempt at dating, or they're looking to gain something for themselves (or meet an "insider" of some kind) when meeting someone. If the relationship doesn't benefit them in any way, those people just fade away and move on to the next one.

But what about outside of DC proper? How's the dating/social scene in Bethesda, Silver Spring, Arlington, Alexandria, etc...? What, if anything, makes them better (or worse) than DC itself? Are there any particular areas you would recommend for a single black male professional in his mid-30's, whether it's inside or outside DC?

I met my wife within a week of moving here, so I'm not a great barometer. I will say that some of the cliches are true, that people sometimes are putting career before personal life, at least until their 30s. I would also say that there are areas that seem to be an extended college for some people (Clarendon!), where you now have money but are still living with other people and hitting bars frequently.

I'm not sure location matters as much as how you are accustomed to meeting people. Some people are adept at striking up conversations with strangers at bars or other public places, whereas others are much better off through networking via co-workers/friends. In either case, you don't want to be isolated too far out in the burbs.

Originally Posted by frostopsy

Well, I got stuck there for 6 years, but 2-5 seems to be the norm. I'm happy I was able to move when I did. Dating scene was OK... I found it kind of like networking. Seems like everyone asked what you do and where at. I thought it was pretty lame. There are people that want an actual relationship, but the rumors are pretty much true.

Can't tell you what to do as an AA, depends what your taste of women is.

I have never understood that complaint. What you do and where you work is an enormous part of your life. Why wouldn't that be a lead topic of conversation?

[kxr203]

Originally Posted by frostopsy

Well, I got stuck there for 6 years, but 2-5 seems to be the norm. I'm happy I was able to move when I did. Dating scene was OK... I found it kind of like networking. Seems like everyone asked what you do and where at. I thought it was pretty lame. There are people that want an actual relationship, but the rumors are pretty much true.

Can't tell you what to do as an AA, depends what your taste of women is.

This is consistent with what I keep hearing about the area...but I understand things aren't going to be the same for everybody. Thanks.