Kindergarten- born after Sept. 30 (Fairfax: preschool, college, activities)

[arielmina]

Originally Posted by liloulou

Very interesting responses from everyone. I do agree with a lot of what is said, and disagree with some of your opinions too. But I do have a follow-up question... why are parents holding their kids back? I mean, that was definitely not the norm 20-30 years ago and there were old and young kids in classes. It seems strange to me.

Has anyone had great and excellent experiences allowing their child to start early?

My sister skipped a grade, was clearly the youngest in her grade but was in GT classes, went on to be the #1 player in a high school sport, was at the top of her class, was the valedictorian at her college, etc...

The answer may be as most are saying, to find an excellent pre-school and still work like I do with her at home, but just feeling it out.

Thanks again!

My daughter would probably have been a great example had we stayed in CT, however she was young, but before the cut off, so there were other kids her age in the class with her. As i said, she started at 4, turning 5 on Oct 11 and was going absolutely fabulously before we moved. I have no doubt that we made the right decision not to hold her back - but again - she did start within the framework of the normal cut off. Most of the other kids in her class were at least 3-9 months older than her, but she is very bright and mature and had no problems.

[mississippimagnolia]

Wait! We have five kids. One of those five is exceptionally gifted. Not your typical academically advanced child...she started taking college classes in eighth grade. She is extremely intelligent. She missed the kindergarten cut off by days. We put her into a good preschool program and supplemented her education at home. I have never regretted that decision. Additionally, it was recommended that she "skip" high school and go directly to college at the end of her eighth grade year. We did not follow that recommendation, choosing instead to allow her to remain in high school and attend college (if she wanted to) over the summer.

As a former Kindergarten and Second Grade Teacher, I can tell you that there will likely be several kids in your daughter's kindergarten class every bit as advanced as she is. And children have diverse talents. Truly gifted kids find a way to thrive no matter what their environment, assuming they have a good teacher and involved parents.

Don't rush this. She will grow up faster than you can imagine. My kids are 20, 16, 16, 14, and 7. Only one of the five is what would be termed "academically gifted" (I hate the term "gifted"...all kids are gifted in some way) I have never...not in all my years teaching and parenting...seen a kid benefit from being put into kindergarten early. I'm not saying it is always harmful. But I've never seen a kid benefit from it. It's always parent driven.

[athousandlogins]

Originally Posted by mississippimagnolia

I have never...not in all my years teaching and parenting...seen a kid benefit from being put into kindergarten early. I'm not saying it is always harmful. But I've never seen a kid benefit from it. It's always parent driven.

My mother-in-law has been an elementary school teacher for something on the order of 25-30 years, and she has the same assessment. She is very much in favor of holding kids back if there is any question at all. She is just one person and anecdotes are not data, but at this point I like to think she knows what she's talking about

[5stones]

Read this book, and you will be convinced to wait, Amazon.com: Outliers: The Story of Success (9780316017923): Malcolm Gladwell: Books It will explain why the youngest children in the class are not put into GT classes, will never be on the hockey team, etc.

Beg to differ... mine made the cut off of Sept 1st BUT she has ALWAYS been the youngest in her class.

She has ALWAYS taken honors classes and is now in AP high school courses and as a sophomore is on the Varsity Tennis team. Class Officer in Student Council.

I do not REGRET my decision, she is very happy and well adjusted. I said that for ME (not her) knowing what I know now...(how many boys are held back) I would probably wait a year.

OP... only you know your child and knows how they react in social situations, (is she a leader or follower etc...) Go with your gut, your her mom and WHATEVER you decide she will be just FINE!

[theBIGstep]

I believe you have to know your child. I do understand that by having a child who is ahead mentally may in some ways struggle in social situations. But my question is everyone makes and issue of age when its really about the level of the child that should be considered. Yes when they get older - driving a car and whatnot are age driven....but mentally if you have a child ready for challanges why not offer that to your child if you can??? Why get caught up on a date which is irrelevant to the ability of a child?

[South Jersey Styx]

Originally Posted by liloulou

Has anyone had great and excellent experiences allowing their child to start early?

My daughter's birthday is in mid-October and when we moved to Washington, DC, the cut-off date was Dec. 31st so she started kindergarten at age 4. Prior to that, she was at a halfway decent pre-K/daycare (on a military base). But she was bored there too.

However, in DC, she went to private school. She had to be tested before being admitted. I think the smaller classes and individualized attention made a difference for a 4-year old.

We moved to Loudoun County where she started 3rd grade through until high school (public school this time). By 4th grade she was admitted into an Advanced Placement Program. In high school,she finished all of her credits and could technically have graduated as a Junior at age 16. She already knew which college she was going to but there was no way I was sending a 16-yr old alone to college.

She didn't have any socialization problems, either in school or with external friends. But my daughter is friendly and outgoing anyway. And we also had her in a bunch of community programs, like Girls Scouts, county sports, after-school activities and clubs, volunteer things, martial arts schools, summer camps, etc.

And, of course, I spent alot of time and worked with her ALOT at home (related to schoolwork, friend problems, etc). Doesn't matter if she went to a private school or Loudoun's school system -- I am a firm believer of parental involvement in all aspects of a child's life.

As many have mentioned, each kid is different so it's up to parents to analyze and decide if a kid is too young or not too young for things. I've known several parents who held their kid back one year, for both progress and social reasons, and none of them regret making that decision.

[EuroExpat]

Originally Posted by South Jersey Styx

I am a firm believer of parental involvement in all aspects of a child's life.

+1 I totally, 100% agree.

[mlv311]

I feel like somewhere along the way, some responses have been misconstrued. While some parents choose to hold back their children from starting K even though the children meet the cut-off, the question was: What to do if your child seems ready and you miss the cut-off? Well, like a PP said, the cut off has to be set on a date and along the way, some kids who may seem ready will have to wait. Private schools in Fairfax County seem to adhere to the cut-off (based on my own research). What does the parent and student gain by circumventing the cut-off date? BTW, there are exceptions to everything and I'm sure there are many examples of "the youngest" in the class doing well academically and socially.

[Doppelganger69]

In response to the original question: I am pretty sure the public schools do not make exceptions to the cut-off dates for starting kindergarten. Some private schools do, depending on the child.

A third option is a preschool that would continue to meet your daughter's needs during this five-year-old year. That is what we did (in another state). Then kindergarten may or may not be a good fit for the child next year. If it is, great. If not, you're on the school hunt again. I've done that enough to know it isn't fun.

[brianrob]

Fairfax County used to have Dec 31st as the cutoff instead of Sept 30. I forget which year they changed it. I went to school back when Dec 31 was the cutoff.

I found EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of what some of you are saying. The younger kids were bright. The redshirted kids were not.

My hunch is that it is because the parents had a choice for those Sept-Dec kids. And my guess is that the families who chose to send their kids to school "early" were usually the ones who (like OP) spent a lot of time nurturing their child academically by reading to them and even teaching their child how to read.

And kindergarten is basically spending a year preparing for real school. Much better than probably anything you can do at home. It's not like kindergarten is academically demanding. I recall my year of kindergarten mostly being crafts, singing, hopping around, reciting the alphabet, show and tell, recess. I think we might have still had nap time but that might have just been preschool days.

The only reason to redshirt IMHO is for sports.