Really need some advice!!!! Single mom moving to Hawaii. (Makaha: real estate, apartments)

[1tchristy]

First off...I don't mean to be rude,(as I feel you were judemental) but I asked about housing, not advise on being a good mother! I have already raised 2 well educated, well adjusted, loved, caring, respectful (the list could go on and on) children! I think I have being a mother figured out! Also, there's several good landlord's who will rent to you when you have a child with less than 2 bedrooms! I also can prove my income. The 1/3 of your income is mostly for low income housing as well as some landlords, but not all. As I said, it's only short term! I have talked to many already and my friend will surely check anything before I commit. I have also had several people send private emails to me to help, because so far this all been all negative. Before I was unable to work the last couple years I worked in finance all my life, so I do know how to figure my bills and I'm going in with my eyes wide open. This is not a spur of the moment thing. Thanks for your opinion.....

[1tchristy]

hi, I have thought about all of that and everything you said were my concerns at first, but now I'm past that. May I ask you even with the expense are you still glad you moved there? Could you please tell me what some of the pro's and con's have been for you?

[missingpattaya]

I live in Des Moines and am looking to move back to Hawaii. I will soon be single and will go back to Honolulu once my divorce is final. If you like let me know and we can talk. Are you in or near Des Moines?

[Lucywe]

Tammy,
I don't mean any disrespect, but I think the people were speaking from the heart and their sum expieriences to save you from trouble or trials that could force you to leave the islands. Living there can be lovely and alluring. I am sure that your friend wants you there and you would love to go there and try out the lifestyle.
Just trying to gather as much information and comparisons for what you can accept and accomplish if you choose to try to make this move. It is a major move and can certainly be very stessful. Any time that you move a young person in high school it is especially hard on them to leave their peers and adjust to another place. I lost my Dad when I was 15, it was the hardest time and I wouln't want anyone to have to go through that. I would not have managed well with having to brave a new world too. I think what some have spoken of is what is most loving for your son who is still living with you. It would be easier for you when it is just you being there. The expenses are just so high there. So many different types of expenses seem to come up that may not be youir expierence where you live. For instance on Oahu, parking is real tight and you may have to pay a couple hundred extra a month for a place to park a car. Some people cannot take the combination of no tradewinds, high humidity and trying to get restful sleep. Where we live in Tx. electricity is very cheap like 7 cents per kilowatt hour, now on the Big Island it is 39 cents. That is why you don't see air conditioners in many homes running. If you live in a large apartment complex that gets the afternoon sun and the trade winds don't come though, you may suffer a great deal.

I believe stats show that more than half who move there from the mainland to try it out return within the first 5 years. From how I see it, the advice that they gave you if you waited until your son graduated would improve for you to be able to make it there sucessfully.

I lived on Oahu before for some years and it was very hard because money was tight but I had the advantage of using a military commissary, so we could still eat :-))

[Joliefille]

Originally Posted by 1tchristy

hi, I have thought about all of that and everything you said were my concerns at first, but now I'm past that. May I ask you even with the expense are you still glad you moved there? Could you please tell me what some of the pro's and con's have been for you?

A few things come to mind for me:

We recently had some car trouble. Car was making funny noises and wasn't running well. Took it to the dealer. Needed some parts from the mainland. Bought parts. Parts arrived damaged. Rinse and repeat. Our car was in the shop for over 5 weeks. We had to get a rental. Our repair bill was $2800.00 plus the parts we ordered and paid for from the mainland. So for the parts, rental and bill, we were out close to 5K.

This is something that in owning and driving cars for 30 plus years, we'd never run in to.

Its hard to explain unless you've lived it. I love Hawaii. I hate how things DON'T work here. Its like being in a dysfunctional family. Or a second world country. Things seem OK, but don't actually work the way they should.

It seems that everyone is focused on money, but its just that there is an upcharge for everything you assume you can afford. I dropped $200 at Costco yesterday and still need to go to the farmers market to get produce.

I'd say on Oahu, there are plenty of jobs for people who want to work, but to find GOOD jobs with benefits and a living wage is tough.

Unless I could afford to rent in a good area or pay for private schools, I wouldn't bring a High schooler here. If you decide to do so, I would focus on areas that had a lot of military families. They are invloved in the schools and are more demanding of good school perfomance. That's important if your child desires any sort of higher education. Also, you don't want your son to be the new "Haole" kid in 9th or 10th grade.

We moved here after our daughter graduated HS and was already admitted to UH. We love it here and both have found meaningful work. But we still scratch our heads at the end of the month and ask ourselves where all our $$ went!

So, yes its possible to move here on a budget. But understand, some of the folks posting are new arrivals and don't have dependants to be concerned about. Your situation is very different.

Aloha and good luck with whatever you decide!

[1tchristy]

Originally Posted by Lucywe

Tammy,
I don't mean any disrespect, but I think the people were speaking from the heart and their sum expieriences to save you from trouble or trials that could force you to leave the islands. Living there can be lovely and alluring. I am sure that your friend wants you there and you would love to go there and try out the lifestyle.
Just trying to gather as much information and comparisons for what you can accept and accomplish if you choose to try to make this move. It is a major move and can certainly be very stessful. Any time that you move a young person in high school it is especially hard on them to leave their peers and adjust to another place. I lost my Dad when I was 15, it was the hardest time and I wouln't want anyone to have to go through that. I would not have managed well with having to brave a new world too. I think what some have spoken of is what is most loving for your son who is still living with you. It would be easier for you when it is just you being there. The expenses are just so high there. So many different types of expenses seem to come up that may not be youir expierence where you live. For instance on Oahu, parking is real tight and you may have to pay a couple hundred extra a month for a place to park a car. Some people cannot take the combination of no tradewinds, high humidity and trying to get restful sleep. Where we live in Tx. electricity is very cheap like 7 cents per kilowatt hour, now on the Big Island it is 39 cents. That is why you don't see air conditioners in many homes running. If you live in a large apartment complex that gets the afternoon sun and the trade winds don't come though, you may suffer a great deal.

I believe stats show that more than half who move there from the mainland to try it out return within the first 5 years. From how I see it, the advice that they gave you if you waited until your son graduated would improve for you to be able to make it there sucessfully.

I lived on Oahu before for some years and it was very hard because money was tight but I had the advantage of using a military commissary, so we could still eat :-))

Hi, Thank you for your reply and I'm very sorry for your loss of your dad. I will never forget the day I had to tell my children about there dad! The lady my harsher reply was to in no way shape or form was being nice!!! The only thing she did was judge without cause! Hasni idea how long ago he passed, from what, what therpy my kids had, what advice was given, why were going there, ect. One should not judge! Thats Gods job! Had she replied in a nice way like you did that would have been different. I can handle it if its constructive. I will not make the journey unless I'm sure I can make it and have resourses to come home if we can't. My son is very excited to be going. Thank you for your concern and again I'm very sorry for the loss of your dad! Tammy

[1tchristy]

Originally Posted by Joliefille

A few things come to mind for me:

We recently had some car trouble. Car was making funny noises and wasn't running well. Took it to the dealer. Needed some parts from the mainland. Bought parts. Parts arrived damaged. Rinse and repeat. Our car was in the shop for over 5 weeks. We had to get a rental. Our repair bill was $2800.00 plus the parts we ordered and paid for from the mainland. So for the parts, rental and bill, we were out close to 5K.

This is something that in owning and driving cars for 30 plus years, we'd never run in to.

Its hard to explain unless you've lived it. I love Hawaii. I hate how things DON'T work here. Its like being in a dysfunctional family. Or a second world country. Things seem OK, but don't actually work the way they should.

It seems that everyone is focused on money, but its just that there is an upcharge for everything you assume you can afford. I dropped $200 at Costco yesterday and still need to go to the farmers market to get produce.

I'd say on Oahu, there are plenty of jobs for people who want to work, but to find GOOD jobs with benefits and a living wage is tough.

Unless I could afford to rent in a good area or pay for private schools, I wouldn't bring a High schooler here. If you decide to do so, I would focus on areas that had a lot of military families. They are invloved in the schools and are more demanding of good school perfomance. That's important if your child desires any sort of higher education. Also, you don't want your son to be the new "Haole" kid in 9th or 10th grade.

We moved here after our daughter graduated HS and was already admitted to UH. We love it here and both have found meaningful work. But we still scratch our heads at the end of the month and ask ourselves where all our $$ went!

So, yes its possible to move here on a budget. But understand, some of the folks posting are new arrivals and don't have dependants to be concerned about. Your situation is very different.

Aloha and good luck with whatever you decide!

Hi

Thank you for sharing with me! I will have to say if anything is making me think twice it is my son being the new one in the school. I have heard so much about him being called a "Haole" That's the one thing that could stop me! Not my income or the other challenges. I have over come so much in my life I know I could handle that! But I could not handle seeing him hurt like that or put through that! Is it really that bad? Is it that way in all area's? Sorry to hear about all your recent trouble! It can only go up for you now!

[1tchristy]

Originally Posted by missingpattaya

I live in Des Moines and am looking to move back to Hawaii. I will soon be single and will go back to Honolulu once my divorce is final. If you like let me know and we can talk. Are you in or near Des Moines?

Hi,
Nice to hear from someone so close! Yes, I'm actually just an hour and 20 min. northwest of Des Moines. When do you plan on moving?

[missingpattaya]

I moved back to Iowa in 1996 and should have never left Hawaii. My divorce should complete by November so I hope to make the move next summer. It all depends on how much money I will lose (or get) in the divorce.

[MickeyE]

Originally Posted by Joliefille

A few things come to mind for me:

We recently had some car trouble. Car was making funny noises and wasn't running well. Took it to the dealer. Needed some parts from the mainland. Bought parts. Parts arrived damaged. Rinse and repeat. Our car was in the shop for over 5 weeks. We had to get a rental. Our repair bill was $2800.00 plus the parts we ordered and paid for from the mainland. So for the parts, rental and bill, we were out close to 5K.

This is something that in owning and driving cars for 30 plus years, we'd never run in to.

<SNIP>

It's not just Hawaii. We had to have the thermostat replaced in our Saturn Vue. Normally, drain the radiator, pop the top hose, replace the <$25.00 thermostat, replace hose and refill radiator. Not the Vue! Remove the top of the engine! $430.00 later job is done. Last checkup, the shop suggested we replace the timing belt as it had the mileage to require it. We couldn't afford it at the time, so we are just hoping it holds up. If it breaks, instead of the engine not running and a new belt needs installed, the engine is destroyed. It's called an interference timing system - everything is so close together that the parts hit and break instead of just free-wheeling like normal engines.

I've replaced thermostats and timing chains and broken timing gears in cars I've owned by myself before. Now it's just easier (and more costly) to take it to the shop. With that in mind, even though this car is paid for I would probably sell it and buy a beater if I move. Just makes more sense to me.

There are so many things to look into when making a move to Hawaii, but if you take it one step at a time (like I am doing now), read through the messages here and keep all your ducks in a row it can be done. At 73 my situation is admittedly different than most thinking about moving, but I can still remember when we were youngsters we moved several times and it was not that difficult for us. We made new friends and the neighbors usually were very friendly and helpful. I've also heard of youngsters having major problems going from grade school to high school without moving.

It seems like "Ya pays yer money and takes yer chance"!

Mickey