Sad Days in Hawaii (apartment, to rent, house)

[wifislow]

I am so depressed these days, especially when I got into college.
Having pressure from school and living, the relationship in family is getting worse.
I really hate to be in these family.. I mean I cannot stop comparing to them.. because I'm one of the oldest kids in the big family..My older cousins are doing very well in their jobs, even my younger cousin is doing good at school..
And my younger sister is putting me to the corner, she is also better. getting many awards and having many friends..
I'm not kinda outgoing person, but don't know why I cannot get attached to people easily.

Every time she mention about her plan about job and career, I'm not feeling good.. because I am not sure what my path will be.!

I want to move out or having a private place but the house is too small to allow me to do that.
This is a hard time in my life.

Sorry for my bad English

[wifislow]

I hate

[pj737]

What is your age? I was the black sheep in my family. I pretty much worked as a laborer/construction worker during my college age years while my siblings were in college and/or graduating earning top marks. I didn't go to college until I was 21... then dropped out my junior year to start my own business.

You say you want to move out and have a private place but the house is too small? What does that mean? You want to move out on your own but you want a bigger place?

Take as much English classes as humanely possible. It's much easier to make friends with others that have limited English speaking skills (especially if they share your ethnic background). But make sure you eventually make friends with well-versed people. They will help you develop your English skills further.

[StinkieMcCain]

Are you Vietanamese?

[hotzcatz]

Be happy for your cousins and don't compare yourself to them or anyone else for that matter. As you've noticed, comparing yourself to others doesn't improve happiness. Find out what brings you joy and follow that instead. Not everyone has to have a lot of friends and be in the center of things. Some people are happy with a few friends, other folks want to be surrounded by friends.

As one of the oldest kids, it's kinda your job to help guide the younger ones. If they are doing well, then it shows you're doing the right things. Still, it's a lot of work helping to take care of the younger ones, can you go out to the beach or somewhere? Sounds like you could use a little time to yourself.

[wifislow]

Being one of the oldest kids give me pressure even when I'm not doing as good as the younger ones.
I'm not the one who comparing but the uncles and aunts.
What I hate is being compared when I meet them, which I seldom faced before I moved to Hawaii.

The house is too small that I have no own room. So, there is no place to escape from this bad situation. It's very expensive to rent a apartment outside especially I have to consider the transportation to school.

Some good advice?

[hotzcatz]

Go to the beach and get out of the house for awhile. The Bus will go to Ala Moana and there's a nice beach right across the street from there. That will give you somewhere to go and get out of the house. Or the local library, that's another place to get out of the house.

Try to not be in the same category as your cousins if possible. If they take up tennis, then you could take up hiking or something entirely else instead.

The other thing is it just flat out not care if they compare you to your cousins. Obviously they are not very sensitive folks. If they say something like "Cousin Abbey is doing so much better than you in school", then just agree with them. "Yes, isn't it wonderful for her? She's doing excellently". Then, the discussion isn't about how you compare to her, it's about how well she's doing.

Also, try not to talk to the folks who are comparing you, just get them talking and listen. Don't argue about their misguided opinions, just let them ramble on and try to agree with them or change the subject to something other than a comparison. It doesn't sound like these folks are gonna change much, though. Do they ever want to discuss something else? Can you ask them about their latest Vegas vacation or their health or something else? Maybe they need more topics of conversation.

[StinkieMcCain]

I like that. ask about health. Ask them if that mole of yours is cancerous and are yoo doomed to die....................hahahaha!

[wifislow]

I don't even have my own room

[whtviper1]

Originally Posted by wifislow

Some good advice?

Go to speak to a mental health counselor.