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I'm a 44yr old father of 3 and my wife is a 40yr old homemaker. Our kids are 7, 9 and 11. My 11yr old daughter has a high-functioning form of Autism called Aspergers (she's very smart but socially immature (think Sheldon from Big Bang Theory).
In 2009, when I was 36 and my wife was pregnant with my now 7 yr old son, I was diagnosed with colon cancer. I had a third of my colon removed and then had 6 months of chemo, but afterwards, I was left with a disability that keeps me from working. I was an Internet Security Specialist and my wife was home raising our two small daughters while carrying my son. After I finished chemo, and tried to return back to my career, I couldn't work because of the permanent short-term memory loss, peripheral neuropathy and chronic pain as a result of the chemo treatments (6months).
Fast forward to today - we live in an affluent part of New Jersey, my wife is a full-time caregiver to my kids, especially my oldest daughter with special needs, and she picks up the slack from the things I can no longer do. We are REALLY FORTUNATE tho - because the company I was working for was being sold at the time I was going through my health ordeal, so that when went back to work, I was able to sell my shares, liquidate my retirement fund, and basically "cash out". Combined with the small amount of disability income I get plus the money I get from monthly dividends, we are now earning the same per month that we were when I was working! PRAISE GOD! I'm not a super-religious person, but I am just really thankful for how that turned out.
Anyway - I don't live a rich mans life, but I am able to raise my kids and not worry about money, so I'm very grateful for that, but my wife and I have decided that the climate, the state, the people of New Jersey, and basically everything about where we live now is exactly opposite of what we want from life now, and since we have very little family and friends here, we are ready to sell our house and move to Hawaii. Oahu has what we need, and as a cancer survivor, I need to live on the island that has the most amenities and specialists both for myself and for my daughter.
So - I need your help! We want to know where on Oahu would be a good fit for us? We're visiting next month to get a better feel for some of the neighborhoods, but we want to look at towns that are personally recommended based on our family needs, rather than some arbitrary demographics. Since commuting and work resources aren't really a requirement, here's a few things we need (hopefully this will help you advise us):
We'd like to live near a good community with good public schools
We have about $400k to put down, and can handle a mortgage for $400k more
We need at least 4 bedrooms, and 2 baths
We would love a yard for our dog, but a townhouse works too
We don't want to live so remotely that we can't get to a doctor
We would like to find either schools or resources for our daughters special needs
I love City Data and have used it from time to time over the years to kick around ideas of moving but Hawaii was always a dream and only recently became a doable reality, so hopefully someone here knows enough to point us in the direction of a few towns to see and explore when we come next month.
Thank you all SO much for even taking the time to read this, and extra thanks for anyone who can offer us a little bit of guidance.
No need to sugarcoat this - It reads like a complete disaster and train wreck.
Let's summarize - you are disabled and can't work and it doesn't read like you will be anytime soon. I'll assume things are so bad with you that you can't even watch the kids since the wife doesn't work either. To top things off, you have a mentally ill daughter.
So, where to live.
Based on what you said, I'd live as close to Queens Hospital and the Physician Office Buildings (known as the POB buildings here). Based on your numbers - you can't afford Manoa so I'd focus on Nuuanu as your best option.
Sorry to hear about your cancer, my friend had colon cancer. He wasn't expected to live, but he made it through, and is largely ok now. I'm hoping you will continue to recover.
- 400k down, 800k house sounds like you'll be able to buy a 3br 2.5ba house in a "normal" area. If you need the 4 br, you'll likely have to move to a less desirable area. From what youre specifying, moving is bad idea
- poor health, bad idea
- wife homemaker, bad idea
- out of work with no job in Hawaii lined up, bad idea
- 3 young children, bad idea
Take a 2 week (out of 52 weeks in a year) trip to Hawaii yearly and enjoy hawaii. Actually moving here would be a huge gamble. It is actually pretty unusual for a middle class family of 5 to have one of the spouses not working here unless the breadwinner makes a good deal of money. Say 150k+ In other threads here, there were families that moved from the mainland on a single 100k salary that were complaining about making ends meet. Granted it can be done, but you'd really need to adjust your lifestyle and expectations.
Since you have serious health issues, have you check out health insurance coverage in Hawaii? Not all insurance companies have coverage here.
Spend some time on this forum reading about schools in Hawaii in general and Oahu in particular. There have been lots of discussions here that may not apply to your particular needs but will give you a good idea of what schools are like. Will a child with Asbergers fit in here and will she get any special attention that she may need?
I'm not real clear from your posting about your income. Neither you nor your wife work, and you have $400,000 to put down on a house. Once that's gone, do you still have more savings? Will your wife be looking for work? Have you looked at cost of living in Oahu versus where you live now?
How about somewhere warm on the mainland? You'd get a lot more for your money there and what income you have would go a lot further, too. Houston? San Diego? They'd have good hospitals, too.
But, if you're still interested, you could look at Kaneohe and maybe Kailua (although that one may be too expensive) and maybe Kaimuki.
All of Hawaii's public schools are run by the State Department of Education, so there's no real huge difference between one and the next, although some are a bit better than others, but the range isn't as wide as the mainland.
Have you visited Oahu much? Why are you choosing Hawaii? Would there be a less expensive place that would be better? Folks have to make so many compromises to live in Hawaii that it's best to move to Hawaii because they really, really want to live in Hawaii and not because they want somewhere better than where they are. Probably why we have such a high turnover population.
Wow, this forum is harsh. The guy says he has disability payments and dividend income equivalent to a high end computer job, and you bring up jobs and criticize his wife for not working. Then he talks about colon cancer and Asperger's and you make it sound like those don't exist on Oahu and can't be treated there. The guy is realistic about Hawaii, and you suggest Houston, really?
There is a grain of truth in these criticisms, you probably need 80K net per year to be comfortable, and should talk with local health facilities and special needs providers at a prospective school. But none of this is unheard-of, and with the right attitude and a bit more research, you could be on your way.
Plus you are already planning a visit, so that covers this forum's number one concern. Come see the neighborhoods, walk through them at all times of day, watch the news, drive to the good and bad parts of town, experience our multi-ethnicity, etc. But do look into the dept of education's special needs capabilities, maybe even set up an interview with them somehow.
Having moved here myself from the midwest US, I understand the deep desire to change scenery, change culture and live life to the fullest. But here's my advice: Just visit Hawaii, enjoy Hawaii regularly, but live in another state that's more affordable with better public schools. Oahu is quickly becoming an Island for millionaires who can afford expensive private schools. Its not just the housing costs, a lot of things are more expensive. Food, utilities, car registration, etc... If you two were DINKs with no debt or other worries, I'd say you would be fine on $85k - $100k combined salary in a nice 800sq ft. condo.
When you visit, I would recommend you leave the resort and drive around the city streets. See what daily life is in Honolulu and the neighborhoods. It is truly an eye opener, and not what is in pretty vacation brochures. In my opinion, its paradise as long as you are in the tourist zones. There's just too many residents, and many are struggling under a housing shortage, strained infrastructure and resources from an overwhelming tourism population.
If you mainly want warm weather and change of scenery, consider northern Phoenix, Arizona. With a $400k down payment you can live extremely well with good schools and good health care facilities.
Kauai, it's a reality check based upon the information that HE provided, which was unrealistic. If you change the expectations to fit within reality in Hawaii, then it may be ok. It really isn't a good situation to be in with the challenges he's presenting. Not to mention, my assumption is that he will have no support network or fmily to assist if he runs into trouble. my .02
As oceanus mentioned, if he was a DINK, hell or even a DI with kids , it would be a lot more feasible. If he was a SINK, I'd say 60k or so, should be fine. But he has some real challenges, especially with the medical stuff.
But yeah, I really don't understand the pressing need to move somewhere that you enjoy on vacation, but may not be as fun to live. For example, I love japan, and travel there yearly on vacation. But seeing what the residents there face as far as daily living, I would not want to live there. Perhaps if I was younger and just starting off in life, maybe move there for a few years, but not worth doing now, unless I was able to draw a much higher salary that I make now, which is also multiples of what the average salaryman makes there.
The guy says he has disability payments and dividend income equivalent to a high end computer job
No, he did not say he had a "high end computer job" A Internet Security Specialist is not high end. I'm hard pressed to even call it mid-range - many people have jumped on that bandwagon.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KauaiHiker
The guy is realistic about Hawaii
Essentially, nothing is realistic about Hawaii in the entire story. That doesn't mean you can't do it - heck, there are people (civilians who paid money) to begin training to orbit the moon with SpaceX - that is equally stupid but they are going to do it. $800K house with yard (4 bedrooms), good community good schools - wants access to doctors and special needs for the mentally ill daughter. Come on, lets not be silly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KauaiHiker
and you suggest Houston, really?
Well, I actually do disagree on this recommendation. Personally, I find nothing redeeming about Houston - the humidity alone is a deal killer for most.
A more realistic option for someone disabled - has a mentally ill daughter - (or most people "dreaming" of Hawaii) is somewhere like San Diego. Certainly has better medical options and facilities for the mentally ill. Arguably has better weather and more to do than a 40x18 mile island in the middle of the Pacific.
With that said, I did recommend about the only neighborhood that fits the criteria - Nuuanu
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