Gifts that broke your friendship? (license, buy, penny, wedding)
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Today is give a gift day, there are gifts that you should never buy to a chinese for weddings,birthdays
A clock
Because the sound "chung" sounds like the word "death" or "the end" in chinese
After one of my friends' wedding,I helped her opening the gifts,one look at a really expensive clock,she imediately threw it out in the trash can!
That was a gift from a caucasian,he probably didn't know about it. She did get mad,said a few nasty words,but thought that it wasn't meant to be bad,but threw it out anyway.
Last edited by VillageLife; 07-27-2007 at 09:52 AM..
Did you or your friend explain to the gift-giver about the clock being bad luck? Did your friend make the nasty comments to the gift-giver ? If they truly didn't know the significance of the clock, then they probably got their feelings hurt just as bad or more than your friend.
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Long time ago I got a newer junky used car than the one I had - so someone convinced me to give my other car still in pretty good shape maybe worth a couple few hundred bucks to a friend Viet Vet on some hard times. So I did - He had to bring it home so I left my plates on it so he could get it back and I asked for the plates back so I could transfer it etc.
Well I never got the plates, had my registration revoked, my insurance canceled, and my license suspended. Needless to say I wasn't too happy about that - never heard from the guy again - o well have to try to be nice in this world - rarely comes back - but what are you going to do.
Did you or your friend explain to the gift-giver about the clock being bad luck? Did your friend make the nasty comments to the gift-giver ? If they truly didn't know the significance of the clock, then they probably got their feelings hurt just as bad or more than your friend.
No,she didn't want to embarras the gift giver,she knew it was of good intention. Most chinese are not rude to the gift giver,How would you feel,if someone gets nasty to you because the gift was bad?
No,she didn't want to embarras the gift giver,she knew it was of good intention. Most chinese are not rude to the gift giver,How would you feel,if someone gets nasty to you because the gift was bad?
That was my point. It would make me feel very bad.
It wasn't my intention to insinuate that your friend was rude to the gift giver. I'm sorry if you took it that way.
Izzy, you obviously know that I am Chinese so I understand the situation but here's the thing: if non-Chinese don't know the customs, you can't possibly blame them. On the other hand, if I'm going to a culturally different wedding, I almost always just give money so I don't "offend" the bride and groom in some way. You can't go wrong with money!
My Father actually taught me that if you were to receive a clock as a gift, just give a penny to the gift-giver so you technically "purchased" the clock and didn't receive ti as a gift. That way, the friend knows and it's a funny moment, IMO.
Needless to say I wasn't too happy about that - never heard from the guy again - o well have to try to be nice in this world - rarely comes back - but what are you going to do.
It does come back it DOES!!! You did an awfully nice thing for someone and I'm sure the guy good use out of it. Karma does exist, I promise!
Izzy, you obviously know that I am Chinese so I understand the situation but here's the thing: if non-Chinese don't know the customs, you can't possibly blame them. On the other hand, if I'm going to a culturally different wedding, I almost always just give money so I don't "offend" the bride and groom in some way. You can't go wrong with money!
My Father actually taught me that if you were to receive a clock as a gift, just give a penny to the gift-giver so you technically "purchased" the clock and didn't receive ti as a gift. That way, the friend knows and it's a funny moment, IMO.
Most Chinese wedding I know give red bag,in the red bag there is money.
This way the bride and groom can buy anything they want. It is customary to gve red bag.don't you think,foma? It is just a lot of foreingers don't know about giving the red bag as a gift.
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