More Words Of Wisdom....LOL (buying, kids, high school, money)

[ylisa7]

Witty Words of Wisdom


Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors, and miss.

Cooking lesson #1: don't fry bacon in the nude.

Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a watergun and shoot other people in the eyes.

If you're not part of the solution, be part of the problem!

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Never buy a car you can't push.

Never eat yellow snow.

Never pet a burning dog.

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don't have a leg to stand on.

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

There are very few problems that cannot be solved by orders ending with 'or die.' - Alistair J.R. Young

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

You are what you eat. So stay away from the jerk chicken.

Be nice to the nerds and geeks in high school -- you'll be working for them in the future.

[sun queen]

Young Lisa these are all very delightful, but It may be life is a warning to others... at least that's what I tell my kids LOL

And what happens if u have all ready eaten yellow snow I suppose if you slept late and the bird ate u anyway and spat u out then everything is suppose to go wrong and should u change lanes, spare a horse and ride a geek all the way to the bank.

I love ur food for thought Younglisa, Mistress of Funny

[Sweetie Pie]

These are great Lisa. I especially love these two!!!

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.


You are what you eat. So stay away from the jerk chicken.

[AksarbeN]

Those are all so true! lol

[stan4]

[SIZE=2]Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag. -JL
[/SIZE]

[ho hey!]

Haha! Very funny. I love the lemon one!

[sun queen]

Originally Posted by Sweetie Pie

These are great Lisa. I especially love these two!!!

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.


You are what you eat. So stay away from the jerk chicken.

Ditto Great post

[SATX56]

Great stuff Lisa!!

[Gue]

I'm buying a water gun for all those lemons I've been handed recently!