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Tonight I had the worst experience of my life in a restaraunt.
Picture this:
Great friends, great food, even better vino Nice conversation, wonderful atmosphere. Finally our friend arrives with their adorrable 3 1/2 year old little girl. From here everything goes downhill.
This little one made the Tazmanian Devil look like Droopy! I know kids can get a little squirmy after a while ... but this one was into it straight out of the starting blocks and her Mom was oblivious.
- She stuck her hand in my food and grabbed a fistfull of pasta (I would've gladly shared as there was way too much for one person).
- She tried and in some cases did put food in our drinks (my beautiful glass of Merlot down the drain due to a french fry, and it was not my night to drive).
- She tried to climb onto the table, but only succeeded to sit on it (high chairs should have better restraining straps on them).
The list goes on and on like an Charmin toilet roll.
The final straw for me was when she took off and invited herself to dine at some poor couple's table. I was mortified. I had to say something. I conducted myself tactfully, but I think I now am one friend less.
I really don't think I was wrong in saying something as this child and her complete lack of discipline ruined mine and plenty of other people's night out. I make no apollogies to any parents out there who think unrully behavoir in a restarant by their child is ok. Stay at home and cook something a let them destroy your evening as well as your dining room!
Whenever we went to a restaraunt with our wee nose miner we always took paper, coloring books, favorite toy etc to keep him occupied. This little one viewed the whole restaraunt as her own personal slice of Chucky Cheese and so did her mother.
What do you wonderful people on CDF think of this? Was I wrong saying something? I think in hinesight I should opened my mouth sooner. Have you had similar experiences?
Sorry if this has been addressed before in another thread but I had to vent!
Sounds to me as if someone went to some trouble to make all of you miserable. And I'm not speaking of the 3-year-old.
Those are 2 people who don't care much about boundaries. Don't expect it to get better. I had a "friend" like that too, once.
At the first sign of inappropriate behavior, I would have asked the parents to have the child "settle down". That would have been a reasonable time to get the little girl into a chair and quietly occupied, which would have required effort on the parent's part. IMO, they owe that to all the others in the place, and their bad manners are not excusable. If the child is making a scene, then it's time for Mom/Dad to remove child rather than inflict such behavior on others ... even at the loss of their dinners and night out instead of spoiling everyone else's.
My tolerance level must be a lot lower than yours. When I'm out for a "dining experience" (as opposed to going to a ChuckECheese kid's place, but even then, I expect children to behave reasonably ...) and it's interrupted this way, I'll be visiting with the waiter or higher staff immediately. If they can't deal with and resolve the situation, my dining experience is gonna' get comp'ed. And, yes, I have walked out of some pretty expensive restaurants mid-meal and only partially paid for the meal when they made no effort to deal with the unruly child's parents. I, too, didn't come there to share my meal with a kid poking at my food, or climbing over my back from the next booth and falling into my lap looking for attention.
I've had the same inconsiderate experience with people traveling with children on airplanes. Time to get the cabin crew on the scene ... either move me away from the disturbance or move them. Otherwise, I'm seeking a lot of compensation. It's not the airlines fault per se, but I didn't purchase a seat to be run over, kicked, splashed on, urinated on (it's happened!), have my food messed with, etc .... and it's happened a number of times on long flights.
If your friends can't see the value of getting a babysitter for an adult evening, then I'd be seeking new friends.
I have been in any number of public places recently where children have thrown tantrums complete with screaming, crying, kicking, hitting, and the parents simply ignored it. I have gritted my teeth until my jaw hurt!
When I was raising my children, if they misbehaved in public, we left the store or restaurant immediately. They were told that they weren't going back in until they stopped crying. Luckily, these incidents didn't happen very often, but I'd never make other people suffer because of my kids. The exception might have been on a full airliner, because the options are limited ("Excuse me while I step outside with my children at 35,000 feet!" ). In general, though, they understood that fighting and screaming in public wouldn't be tolerated.
I'm sorry it had to get to such a point with your friend, but how could you not say something?! I say good for you!
If it were me, i would have said something before the kid stuck her hand in my pasta. She would get anywhere near my food, id have stopped her. Shame on the mother of the kid, she's the one to blame for it all. She needs to train her child to behave. Better yet, get a sitter so the night wouldn't be ruined.
Also, if she's ticked off about what you said, and she avoids you, perhaps you need some new friends. Preferably one's that know it's best to call a sitter and not bring the rugrats to the nice dinners.
Last edited by PinkString; 03-11-2007 at 03:33 AM..
Reason: typos
I am so sorry this happened.
I know what it is like to be put in this awkward position; you keep waiting for the child's parent to say or do something, and then it becomes painfully obvious that they don't see anything wrong!
If you are one friend less, so be it. But you might be surprised, the little girl's parent(s) may yet come to their senses. They certainly are not doing their kid any favors as it is right now.
The whole thing with kids in restaurants has always bugged me a bit, because the way it's become, with children now tagging along for every dining event, it is almost setting up the kid for failure.
I only had to take my oldest out of a place once, and never again. But we did not bring him or his little brother every time we went out for dinner.
I love kids, but sometimes really look forward to *adult* conversation in a grown-up atmosphere.
I think part of the problem is the way Americans look at dinner now. Going out for dinner used to be a huge deal when I and my brothers were little. We dressed up a bit, had to be on our best behavior, and it was especially a treat for our mom.
These days, Americans go out all the time, from fast food to white tablecloth.
Real "dining" might well be done in a t-shirt and flip flops.
Maybe we've overdone the casual atmosphere? I dunno.
I detest stuffy, overly fancy places, yet don't always want to look at some guy's hairy legs at dinner, let alone have some kid reaching into my pasta.
I was a restaurant manager for years and would see this all the time. For some reason people think it's ok in restaurants for their kids to run wild. When I was a kid if my brothers and I even moved in our seats my grandmother would have smacked us in the face. I'm not saying that's the right thing to do but just the threat of it made us behave. If you are having dinner with friends/family the parents should teach them to be respectful of other people. These days it's seems people don't want to be bothered with "raising" there kids they just want to have them.
Wiggly and squrimy are one thing; misbehaviour is quite another! My kids are 25 and 20, and I can tell you that I would have never tolerated that sort of behaviour, when they were young, and they knew it!They very rarely had ill-behaviour in public, because they knew that mama was going to make a trip to the bathroom with them, if they did! The first time that little girl reached over into my plate, there would have been a stern look, and some sharp corrective words, because regardless of what the parents were doing, (or not doing, in this case), I won't put up with this sort of thing. I have corrected kids in restaurants, stores, theaters, church, etc. I don't care whose kids they are. Unfortunately, at this age, it's not really the kids' fault; it's the parents, but somebody has to say something. And, this little one is certainly old enough to learn! So, if the parents are angry at you, I'd say that's too bad for them. You did the right thing! (Albeit, I would have done it sooner, but that's just me. Low tolerance level ). They need to get a clue, (and more), about teaching their child proper manners. Good heavens, I would not have allowed my kids to get away with this at McDonald's, never mind a nice place! In fact, I think that McDonald's and other similar eating establishments, are good places to start teaching ones's kids manners. Then, you can graduate them to nicer restaurants, when their manners are appropriate.
Tonight I had the worst experience of my life in a restaraunt.
Picture this:
Great friends, great food, even better vino Nice conversation, wonderful atmosphere. Finally our friend arrives with their adorrable 3 1/2 year old little girl. From here everything goes downhill.
This little one made the Tazmanian Devil look like Droopy! I know kids can get a little squirmy after a while ... but this one was into it straight out of the starting blocks and her Mom was oblivious.
- She stuck her hand in my food and grabbed a fistfull of pasta (I would've gladly shared as there was way too much for one person).
- She tried and in some cases did put food in our drinks (my beautiful glass of Merlot down the drain due to a french fry, and it was not my night to drive).
- She tried to climb onto the table, but only succeeded to sit on it (high chairs should have better restraining straps on them).
The list goes on and on like an Charmin toilet roll.
The final straw for me was when she took off and invited herself to dine at some poor couple's table. I was mortified. I had to say something. I conducted myself tactfully, but I think I now am one friend less.
I really don't think I was wrong in saying something as this child and her complete lack of discipline ruined mine and plenty of other people's night out. I make no apollogies to any parents out there who think unrully behavoir in a restarant by their child is ok. Stay at home and cook something a let them destroy your evening as well as your dining room!
Whenever we went to a restaraunt with our wee nose miner we always took paper, coloring books, favorite toy etc to keep him occupied. This little one viewed the whole restaraunt as her own personal slice of Chucky Cheese and so did her mother.
What do you wonderful people on CDF think of this? Was I wrong saying something? I think in hinesight I should opened my mouth sooner. Have you had similar experiences?
Sorry if this has been addressed before in another thread but I had to vent!
tetley, i've also been in that situation, the parents, are spineless, twits, allowing thier child to control the situation.
if i were in your shoes, id have hollared out,,,,"for those that are not on birth control, this is what happens"
tetley, i've also been in that situation, the parents, are spineless, twits, allowing thier child to control the situation.
if i were in your shoes, id have hollared out,,,,"for those that are not on birth control, this is what happens"
That just made my morning!
Tetley~
You are definitely WAY more patient than I would have been. I would have completely lost it once the little darling put her fists in my food. I would think that your "friend" would have been more considerate to you and the people around you and disciplined the girl.
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Nice conversation, wonderful atmosphere. Finally our friend arrives with their adorrable 3 1/2 year old little girl. From here everything goes downhill.
). In general, though, they understood that fighting and screaming in public wouldn't be tolerated.
They very rarely had ill-behaviour in public, because they knew that mama was going to make a trip to the bathroom with them, if they did! The first time that little girl reached over into my plate, there would have been a stern look, and some sharp corrective words, because regardless of what the parents were doing, (or not doing, in this case), I won't put up with this sort of thing. I have corrected kids in restaurants, stores, theaters, church, etc. I don't care whose kids they are. Unfortunately, at this age, it's not really the kids' fault; it's the parents, but somebody has to say something. And, this little one is certainly old enough to learn! So, if the parents are angry at you, I'd say that's too bad for them. You did the right thing! (Albeit, I would have done it sooner, but that's just me. Low tolerance level
). They need to get a clue, (and more), about teaching their child proper manners. Good heavens, I would not have allowed my kids to get away with this at McDonald's, never mind a nice place! In fact, I think that McDonald's and other similar eating establishments, are good places to start teaching ones's kids manners. Then, you can graduate them to nicer restaurants, when their manners are appropriate.
