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I work in the human services industry, hugely dominated by women between 25-45. I have been there since Jan 2007 and have only managed to make about 5 friends out of about 30 people. I am continously ignored by others and I don't know why. I don't backstab, gossip nor do I say much at all in the team meetings. I am friends with the administration person, I am friends with quite a few but they dont work in the same department as me.
I smile, act friendly and never ***** or moan about anything...
what the hell is wrong with those people that are cold towards me and don't want to know me.!!!!
I work in the human services industry, hugely dominated by women between 25-45. I have been there since Jan 2007 and have only managed to make about 5 friends out of about 30 people. I am continously ignored by others and I don't know why. I don't backstab, gossip nor do I say much at all in the team meetings. I am friends with the administration person, I am friends with quite a few but they dont work in the same department as me.
I smile, act friendly and never ***** or moan about anything...
what the hell is wrong with those people that are cold towards me and don't want to know me.!!!!
kitten, you dont by chance, weigh 100 lbs less than most of these woman do you?
i've seen some attractive, thin woman get shunned and ripped apart by there larger co-workers.
give it some time,,,if they are pre-judging you, its not you, its them, woman can be very catty.
Could be many reasons......
1. some people don't want to make friends at work
2. some women are catty
3. you are putting out some type of vibe that's not appreciated
I don't think making five friends at work is bad anyway. It's better to have good friends than a lot of friends. Quality over quanity.
If anyone is outright rude or disrespecting you, than call them on it and ask what the problem is. You will be more respected if you speak up than if you just take it.
now now evey, its human nature to want to get along with your colleagues, especially if its a gregarious bunch,,yet they treat you, like dirt,,,,its human nature to want to "fit-in", even in a work environment
kitten, you dont by chance, weigh 100 lbs less than most of these woman do you?
i've seen some attractive, thin woman get shunned and ripped apart by there larger co-workers.
give it some time,,,if they are pre-judging you, its not you, its them, woman can be very catty.
GlitterKitten: I tend to agree with the above quote pertaining to thin and attractive. If you're such a nice person, that can make other women crazy. If you're intelligent to go along with everything else, you're really in for shunning tactics. And if you're single and they're married, Heaven help you.
I surely wouldn't worry about it. If mainebrokerman and I am correct, consider the pettiness and insecurity of these women. They more than likely would make lousy friends with all their neurotic issues.
Of course, I don't know but from what you said, I think it could be so.
Last edited by KewGee; 04-26-2007 at 07:42 AM..
Reason: add a liine
GlitterKitten,
I'm with MaineBrokerMan, Rapture, & KewGee.
If the majority likes to gossip, and complain about everything, the ONLY way you'll ever be "IN" is to join 'em. And it's just not worth it, IMO, when you're positive and upbeat by nature. God help you if you're more productive and enjoy your job more than they do.
I am female, but have gotten along most splendidly with men for this very reason. The majority of my best of (platonic) friends have always been men I've worked for/with :>)
I work in the human services industry, hugely dominated by women between 25-45. I have been there since Jan 2007 and have only managed to make about 5 friends out of about 30 people. I am continously ignored by others and I don't know why. I don't backstab, gossip nor do I say much at all in the team meetings. I am friends with the administration person, I am friends with quite a few but they dont work in the same department as me.
I smile, act friendly and never ***** or moan about anything...
what the hell is wrong with those people that are cold towards me and don't want to know me.!!!!
Give it some time! I have been working in a mental health agency for 18 months now and have made a few more friends in just the last couple of months and these people I have worked with the whole time. They are probably still trying to figure you out and see what you are about.
We have about 33 people working here and 27 of them are women between the ages of 25-76. There IS definitely a division between the young and the older women. Virtually all the twenties and thirties girls get along well, but those older women are harsh (they are barely nice to each other)! They hate that we have fun on the job. We get our work done, but we also like to have a good time. They don't think we are good therapists, etc. It's rediculous.
But you are really still very new there, so give it time and see who you want to be friends with, then work on it.
Are you considered an "upwardly mobile threat" to these ladies? My sister-in-law joined an office where most of the women wore sweats to work, made no attempt to learn new computer skills, and called in sick frequently. She wore professional clothes, learned the latest office software on her own and showed up religiously. They made fun of her for trying so hard because "no one here gets promoted, they hire from outside". She was friends with most of them, until she was promoted to administrative assistant. Suddenly rumors started flying about how "blondie must be sleeping with the boss to get that new job". It was very hurtful.
Then she had to quit because the married boss started hitting on her.
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