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In the most recent AARP magazine, one of the topics was the high cost of funerals today. With dollars stretched ever so thin, the article stated that Do-It-Yourself funerals are becoming ever more common, which will set you back a mere $250 as opposed to spending thousands on a proper funeral. It also leaves more money for the estate.
Apparently, you can display the unembalmed corpse in your living room (with dry ice used) for a few days and then seek permits to bury the body on private property somewhere.
Had no idea this was an option in this country until I read this article.
Know of anyone that's done this? Or would you consider doing this?
Once I'm done with my body they can donate it to a medical school. That will cost even less. Not sure if and who regulates burials in all states. I personally would not want to. I know in places a burial vault is required in addition to a casket. Local laws will take precedent.
Both my parents died in south Florida 10 years apart. They were both cremated. The cost for each cremation was in the vicinity of $725. They were each put in the least expensive carton/urn/box there was for transport home. Their ashes will be spread together in a private spot I think they'd both be happy with.
Neither parent wanted what you termed a 'proper' funeral. I take exception to that term as we've been brainwashed into thinking nowadays you have to spent thousands on a casket, plot, etc. My parents were adamently opposed to that. My dad had a neat little folder with explicit instructions on what to do. Including the business card of the funeral home we should use for cremation since they were the cheapest. lol
We had a simple memorial on the lanai for my dad with his fishing buddies. Everyone told a few stories of special times they'd enjoyed with my dad. It was wonderful. I had a simple italian meal catered and it's a special memory of a time of respect paid to my dad.
A 'proper' funeral is whatever the family thinks works for them. Or the deceased's wishes being observed imo.
Once I'm done with my body they can donate it to a medical school. That will cost even less. Not sure if and who regulates burials in all states. I personally would not want to. I know in places a burial vault is required in addition to a casket. Local laws will take precedent.
Donating your body to science may, or may not, be that simple and it's something YOU have to arrange for before death, unless some family member has your power of attorney.
I explored that option here in Texas and found out that just because I'm willing to donate, does not mean anyone has to take my body. Specifically, I wanted to donate mine to Baylor Medical College in Houston, for use by medical students, and found out the following:
All I had to do was fill out a simple form expressing my wishes (not even notarized) and let the family know. The procedure at my death would be that someone would notify Baylor and they'd come and get me, within 150 miles of Houston. Any farther than that and someone would have to pay for the transporation. Once my carcass arrives in Houston, the school might turn it down for any one of several reasons, including excessive obesity, death from a communicable disease such as AIDS, dismemberment or because they don't really need it. At that point, the family would have to pay to have me returned and have an alternate plan.
That's just too much uncertainty for the family to deal with, so I'm now opting for immediate cremation. It's cheap and takes the whole process away from the funeral salesmen who are quite adept at playing their customer's grief for profit. If the family wishes to have a memorial service over my ashes, they can do that right here at the house in our family room. There's no need to pay a funeral home for a place to grieve and they can do it any time they like.
Plus, just in case I'm not really dead, I'd much rather be burned alive than buried alive!
My dad had a neat little folder with explicit instructions on what to do. Including the business card of the funeral home we should use for cremation since they were the cheapest. lol
We had a simple memorial on the lanai for my dad with his fishing buddies. Everyone told a few stories of special times they'd enjoyed with my dad. It was wonderful. I had a simple italian meal catered and it's a special memory of a time of respect paid to my dad.
A 'proper' funeral is whatever the family thinks works for them. Or the deceased's wishes being observed imo.
Was your dad related to my mom? Because she did almost the exact same thing, down to saving an old coffee can specifically for the purpose of collecting her ashes!! She was appalled that a funeral home would charge hundreds of dollars for an urn, so she researched it, determined that (at least at that point) the family of the deceased could provide their own container for ashes, and she made sure to provide one that she approved of.
We also had a memorial service rather than a funeral for her. She wanted my spouse to be the "MC," as she called it, because she didn't want anything religious at her memorial and she knew he'd comply. We assembled a cassette tape of the music she most loved, my sister and I co-authored a eulogy, friends and family shared memories and laughter, and we had a potluck luncheon afterward - no catering costs.
Like you, CoastalMaine, the resulting event was a special time for us all to celebrate Mom's life in a way that was both meaningful to us and in accord with her wishes. And that's all that really matters, when all is said and done.
When my uncle passed away 4 years ago, just the funeral and casket was $7,000.00. That didn't include the plot. Luckily my mother was able to secure one thru her church's cemetery.
I told my husband right then and there the this wasn't going to happen when I died. He agreed and now we will both be cremated. We've even picked out our "urns" in case someone wants to save the ashes.(personally I don't get that one either)
And while we're both believers, the formal services just aren't "us". Just a simple memorial service.
We've told the boy all of this and have written it down, so he won't get any flack.
Yes, cremation for us too. Whoever goes first, the ashes will be in an urn and the surviving spouse will just keep them close. And if both of us should go at the same time, we've told the kids they can choose to keep our ashes, or go to the special place we've picked and scatter our ashes, whichever they prefer. Or even half and half.
When I read do-it-yourself funeral that instantly conjured up images of my family shlepping out to Home Depot to buy shovels at $10 a pop and then digging a hole late at night and dumping my blanket wrapped body into a shallow grave at the beach. I can already hear them arguing and fussing..."I got sand in my shoes!", "how much further do you have to walk", "when can be stop digging, I'm hungry" "what do you mean we have to pay for parking!?"
When I read do-it-yourself funeral that instantly conjured up images of my family shlepping out to Home Depot to buy shovels at $10 a pop and then digging a hole late at night and dumping my blanket wrapped body into a shallow grave at the beach. I can already hear them arguing and fussing..."I got sand in my shoes!", "how much further do you have to walk", "when can be stop digging, I'm hungry" "what do you mean we have to pay for parking!?"
Too funny....my family is so cheap they'd borrow the neighbor's shovels and shoplift the blanket from goodwill.
If I’m not mistaken I think they call this a “green funeral”. I’m aware that some states may or may not have laws about burials on private and public lands, it’s something that you’d want to check on first before hand.
Personally I don’t want (nor do I know of anyone) that would want to have a body on display in their living room with or without dry ice for a day or more.
However I don’t have any problem with family and friends doing a green funeral and properly providing burial as soon as possible. After which when convenient having a “celebration of life” of that person where everyone gets together for the purpose of remembering them.
Personally I think that cremation is a better idea and doing whatever is best with the ashes. It makes it so much easier when arrangements have been made ahead of time in a written form so everyone knows what will happen when grandma and grandpa passes. My folks have all of their wishes taken care of in advance of their death, so there was no question, issues or problems for me or my sister.
We had a celebration of life for them with family and friends, it couldn't have been better.
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