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I have a 17 year old who has a history of issues. The main one has been an eating disorder, bipolar, anxiety, and lack of respect for ANY authority.
She has been in the hospital for treatment for all of these issue and I have taken her to professionals, psychologist, psychiatrist, dieticians for the past 5 year. I have spent all of my time and energy on her. I've also spent all my money on her and had to declare bankruptcy last year because I had to put her in a private school and ran up huge medical bills. I thought it would be well worth it if I helped her. I've tried to guide her, show her how to make decisions, promote my values. To no avail.
She lied to me for the past two years, while I was paying 9 grand a year on private school and working 2-3 jobs to be able to pay the tuition and hundreds of dollars on doctors and medication each month. She smoked pot for the past year and a half, drank, got "wasted" all the time.
Now, her last stint in the mental hospital for treatment, she met a 22 year old. She lied to me about staying with her friend over Halloween and instead went to this guy's hotel room and spent the night.
Now, I have told her that she has a choice: She can either live here by MY RULES or leave. She says that it's illegal for me to kick her out before she's 18. I say that then she has to live by my rules.
I have developed health issues through all of this. I have done anything and everything to help her, to get her help and to give her the resources to help herself. I don't know what else to do.
I have a call in to the juvenile sergeant and social services at our police department as well as working with the hospital, her therapist and psychiatrist.
Simple. The day she turns 18, pack her bags and put her out. At 18, she is an adult. When she sees how hard "real life" can be, she'll more than likely change her ways. If she doesn't? She'll learn eventually.
You shouldn't have to support a person like this or put your own health at risk because of it.
Tough love is tough, but kids have to learn how hard life can be. I hope that your daughter doesn't have to hit rock bottom to change. I've had so many friends and people I went to school with come close to rock bottom before changing for the better.
Teenagers are hard to reach. I hope the best for you. Try finding a support group that can help you with this.
Thank you all for the encouragement. I definitely need it. No matter what I do, nothing is good enough for her. Nothing. The social worker at the police station told me to bring her down and he and one of the juvenile detectives will have a chat with her. I'm planning on taking him up on that. But, knowing her, it'll just **** her off.
this isn't just a willfull child with poor values. It sounds to me like she is a special needs child with bipolar issues and she is not capable of thinking straight. I'm really sorry you have to deal with this and I'm afraid it will only get worse as these kids are very slow to mature and be responsible if ever. I think your best bet now is to take care of yourself. Sounds to me like you have done more than you can and more than most would have to endure.
Put yourself first for once. You deserve it now. Good luck
The funny thing is, she did have the proper values by an early age. She was a great kid. Kind, empathetic, loving. Her worst fault was that she was a little selfish and bossy with her little sister. I was s stay at home mom and spent lots of time with her and taught her from the beginning. This nonsense started when she was in eighth grade. Before then, she was a model child. I kid you not, she was a great kid. Again, selfish and bossy with her sister, but otherwise a great kid, very smart and talented with lots of really nice friends. I just don't know how she did a 180.
She sounds mentally ill, If she refuses to take her meds, there is nothing you can do. Maybe you can get into a mental illness support group.
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