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I think what you're experiencing is very normal for most people. I've never worn makeup, and I don't style my hair. (I can't complain about my hair. I'm a lucky one with hair that just does it's thing and I don't have to mess with it. Some days I don't even comb it. I just wash it in the shower, towel dry it, then run my fingers through it. It's long, straight, thick, and silky smooth. It dries and that's that. Some days I actually use a comb, but not very often. I hack a bit of it off about twice a year, maybe.)
My kids are 10 and 15 now... and while I've never bothered with makeup or styling my hair... I have noticed other changes in how I present myself. For example, it used to be that I would have never been caught dead in sweats out in public. No way! But... now it seems totally OK to me. Not for all things, but just running to the grocery store or picking up kids from school or whatever. My sweats aren't big and baggy though... they are more like yoga pants or workout clothes... but still. I used to not even wear workout clothes in public. I'd always change into nicer clothes. I also used to wear heels and wedges... but since having kids my shoes are more sensible. I also used to think flip flops were gross, but in the last year or so I've begun to like them for how simple and easy they are in the summer.
I guess I tend to go for comfort more now than I did before. Comfort and ease of care. I never buy things that have a "dry clean only" tag anymore. My closets used to be full of dry clean only clothes, but now if I can't wash it myself at home I don't own it (with the exception of coats). I go for practicality now instead of how cute it looks.
I think what you're experiencing is very normal for most people. I've never worn makeup, and I don't style my hair. (I can't complain about my hair. I'm a lucky one with hair that just does it's thing and I don't have to mess with it. Some days I don't even comb it. I just wash it in the shower, towel dry it, then run my fingers through it. It's long, straight, thick, and silky smooth. It dries and that's that. Some days I actually use a comb, but not very often. I hack a bit of it off about twice a year, maybe.)
My kids are 10 and 15 now... and while I've never bothered with makeup or styling my hair... I have noticed other changes in how I present myself. For example, it used to be that I would have never been caught dead in sweats out in public. No way! But... now it seems totally OK to me. Not for all things, but just running to the grocery store or picking up kids from school or whatever. My sweats aren't big and baggy though... they are more like yoga pants or workout clothes... but still. I used to not even wear workout clothes in public. I'd always change into nicer clothes. I also used to wear heels and wedges... but since having kids my shoes are more sensible. I also used to think flip flops were gross, but in the last year or so I've begun to like them for how simple and easy they are in the summer.
I guess I tend to go for comfort more now than I did before. Comfort and ease of care. I never buy things that have a "dry clean only" tag anymore. My closets used to be full of dry clean only clothes, but now if I can't wash it myself at home I don't own it (with the exception of coats). I go for practicality now instead of how cute it looks.
I love your username by the way. Its a harry potter reference right?
Last edited by KylieEve; 07-01-2010 at 03:20 PM..
Reason: .
Before I had kids I used to put alot of time and effort into my appearance. I now have 3 kids 7 and under. I used to take 30 minutes to do my make-up and 1 hour on my hair. Now I spend 5 minutes on make-up and 20 minutes on my hair. I don't know why but I just don't care as much about how I look. I don't know if its due to sheer exhaustion or stress of the fact that my appearance is now trivial since my children are my top priority.
Is this the same for you? When your children got older did you focus on your appearance again?
I am right there with you. I have a 5 & 7 yo and the only time I put on make-up anymore is when I am going out for dinner with the girls or with hubby (maybe once or twice a month). Otherwise, I just put my hair in a pony tail and skip the make-up. Prior to kids, I spent a lot of time on my appearance and really enjoyed hanging out at department store make-up counters and wearing the latest fashions. I have found myself caring less and less and getting more comfortable with my "natural" look. I don't think I'll ever go back to how I was. I do still like to look good, I just wish it was less time consuming to get dolled up.
I love your username by the way. Its a harry potter reference right?
The houseelf part is! We're big pottermaniacs in this house! Originally I was going to do "happyhouseelf" but then I thought of the word "haggard", a word which I've always loved, and it seemed more comical, so I went with that... It's kind of like how you lose interest real quick with shiny happy people stories... they're so boring... "Oh, good for you, happy days for you, blah blah blah..." but the sad stories full of heartache and drama always make good movies because for whatever reason they're always more interesting... or something along those lines... I'm sleepy.
Before I had kids I used to put alot of time and effort into my appearance. I now have 3 kids 7 and under. I used to take 30 minutes to do my make-up and 1 hour on my hair. Now I spend 5 minutes on make-up and 20 minutes on my hair. I don't know why but I just don't care as much about how I look. I don't know if its due to sheer exhaustion or stress of the fact that my appearance is now trivial since my children are my top priority.
Is this the same for you? When your children got older did you focus on your appearance again?
I used to spend more time on appearance but never as long as 1.5 hours unless it was a really special occasion.
I was never high maintenance, especially at home, but I did use to put more time into appearance. I usually bump it up a couple notches when leaving the house. I don't have wash and go hair so I always have to do something with it. In the summer that can be as easy as air dry and clip up. I am a make-up minimalist....tinted moisturizer w/sunscreen, powder, mascara, chap stick. I'll do more if we are going 'out' and nothing at all if I'm staying home for the day or just running to the store.
It's not that I care less about appearance now, even though my kids are older and I have the time. It's more that I appreciate the simplicity of not worrying about it anymore. As I got older I guess I felt more comfortable with my natural self and there are things I'd rather do with the time than spend it primping.
Before I had kids I used to put alot of time and effort into my appearance. I now have 3 kids 7 and under. I used to take 30 minutes to do my make-up and 1 hour on my hair. Now I spend 5 minutes on make-up and 20 minutes on my hair. I don't know why but I just don't care as much about how I look. I don't know if its due to sheer exhaustion or stress of the fact that my appearance is now trivial since my children are my top priority.
Is this the same for you? When your children got older did you focus on your appearance again?
I was the same way.And to answer your question, yes, as they are older it is time to refocus some of your attention on yourself! Don't get caught in that trap of not putting effort into your appearance. You need to take some time to get some exercise and put on fashionable clothes, and alittle make-up.I don't think we ever go back to the total focus on ourselves that we had before kids, but never give it up completely. Your husband [and your kids as they get older] will appreciate you looking good, being healthy and fit, wearing fashionable clothes etc. You will have more time as your kids become more independent.
I really think every mom goes through this. I have two kids when I first had them oh boy was I a mess. But as a little time went by I fell into a routine and I try my best to look "nice" I have never been the type to wear makeup so I make sure I have on a pretty outfit my hair decent and a nice attitude I think it gets easier the older they are because as I'm telling the nine year old to get dressed I could be doing MY hair. but if she was 9 months old of course I would have to take "my hair time" and use it for her to be perfectly dressed with perfect ribbons in her hair
I have an infant at home, and I still do the same makeup routine that I've always done - but it was never that complicated to begin with. Moisturizer, mineral foundation, mascara, and some lip stain. Looks natural and put together. If I'm going out at night, I'll use some eyeshadow and liner.
My hair is pretty thick, so what I like to do is shower at night (a habit from when I worked in NYC, didn't want subway germs on before bed) after my son is asleep, put in some argan oil, and blowdry it. This takes about 20 minutes because I have a LOT of hair. I actually spend more time on my hair now that I did when I was pregnant, because I just didn't have patience with it when I was approximately the size of a baby whale.
I didnt' stop caring about my appearance. I simply changed my routine into a more low maintenance appearance, I still looks good. Instead of having a hair style that requires a lot of time, I switched to a cut that is appropriate for my hair type. I actually look better now than I did back when I spent more time on my hair. People with straight hair waste time curling their hair and people with curley hair waste time straightening hair. Get a hairstyle that is appropriate with your hair type and you'll look amazing without much effort. Even before I had children, I would never spend 30 minutes on makeup. My makeup and skin care routine hasn't changed. The biggest trick is making sure you have clothing that is comfortable but still sylish. Too many women fall into wearing sweat pants after they become mothers. I don't even own a pair of sweat pants.
Hmmm....well I have never really taken 1.5 hrs for hair and makeup......but I have consistently spent about an hour or so almost daily getting ready....and about 1.5 hrs daily at the gym so yes, I do care still about my appearance. Of course dd is still my priority and always has been, but I am one to believe that marriage and children does not mean you have to fall off the wagon and not prioritize and balance other aspects of your life as well.
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We're big pottermaniacs in this house! Originally I was going to do "happyhouseelf" but then I thought of the word "haggard", a word which I've always loved, and it seemed more comical, so I went with that... It's kind of like how you lose interest real quick with shiny happy people stories... they're so boring... "Oh, good for you, happy days for you, blah blah blah..." but the sad stories full of heartache and drama always make good movies because for whatever reason they're always more interesting... or something along those lines... I'm sleepy.
