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LOL! That is because some other people have articulated it better than I can ever do. Should I start a blog on this topic and would you participate? I would rather not if you didn't because my time is limited since I do this on MY time, which is during my daughter's nap.
Anyway, bottom line...it is okay to have negative feelings. What you do with them is what matters. End of point.
Agree. But mine also have to know that just because you have a "negative feeling", the type leading to a scene, tantrum, bad mood, whining, being pi*ed, etc you are not necessarily entitled to make a show of it and drive others nuts with it. It is OK to learn to hide and suppress some of your negative feelings - despite pop psychology "wisdom" speaking to the contrary!!
I personally feel extremely versed in reading feelings and human interaction to not fear that my children will repress all negative feelings and hide them away from me in serious situations (say "kid bullies them at school" etc).
I can read my kids like an Oracle. When they are just being difficult because they have one of those much venerated "feelings " the answer is: GET OVER IT and NO, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO WALLOW IN IT.
They invariably let go and soon after, they're back to their normal, carefree child selves that should be free of so much "feeling analysis" to begin with.
When someone responds with so much vehemence or self-defense to other's observations, I really have to wonder if there isn't a nerve being touched. I am sorry to have offended you. I stated the case as I saw it, without intending to harm anyone.
In fact, I DO like kids, and I hope for each and every one of them an opportunity to grow up in a world where they are respected through ALL ages of their lives. For some reason, we seem to have made our world one where the different ages, ethnicities, (pick your group) are at odds with one another.
Frankly, given the responses of many representing themselves as parents here, I don't wonder that the children are rude. After all, kids learn more from examples that instructions.
I hope someday you feel the compassion toward older adults that you seem to heap upon youngsters, now. For my part, I would like to give all of you the benefit of the doubt that there is still a chance you can look outside yourselves and be considerate of those unknown to you.
Oh! You're not a parent?! Ohhhhh! Now it makes a sense. I was a perfect parent before I had kids too.
Agree. But mine also have to know that just because you have a "negative feeling", the type leading to a scene, tantrum, bad mood, whining, being pi*ed, etc you are not necessarily entitled to make a show of it and drive others nuts with it. It is OK to learn to hide and suppress some of your negative feelings - despite pop psychology "wisdom" speaking to the contrary!!
I personally feel extremely versed in reading feelings and human interaction to not fear that my children will repress all negative feelings and hide them away from me in serious situations (say "kid bullies them at school" etc).
I can read my kids like an Oracle. When they are just being difficult because they have one of those much venerated "feelings " the answer is: GET OVER IT and NO, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO WALLOW IN IT.
They invariably let go and soon after, they're back to their normal, carefree child selves that should be free of so much "feeling analysis" to begin with.
Okay, so I agree with you. The bolded is how I was raised, to repress all negative feelings. But I do know of one mom who came for help because her daughter would use the excuse of "I am feeling angry" to be able to have tantrums. So I am aware of that extreme.
I would not allow others to have to suffer through my daughter's tantrums either. I wouldn't like to see it in public. It is common sense to me. Honestly, I think we don't like the same kind of parenting, overprotectiveness and overachievers. We just do things differently at the infant and toddler's stage I am assuming. A different means to the same end.
Last edited by crisan; 07-07-2010 at 04:20 PM..
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