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Long story short.... Thanks to my childhood I have always struggled with anger issues.
My relationship with my daughter's father has always been bad. He know's my anger is my biggest weakness and does his best to use it against me. The only way I have ever been able to succesfully handle my anger is by walking away and finding a quite place to relax and take deep breaths. He follows me and calls me names, pushing my buttons hoping that explode just he can call me a psycho and laugh at me.
Lately I have noticed my 2 year is acting like a total monster!!!!!! I am leaving her dad FOR GOOD in 8days and the past 2 days my daughter has been hitting, throwing things and screaming randomly.
I feel like I ruined everything!!! I had this beautiful blank canvas of a human being in my hands and I destroyed it!
Please tell me I still have time to rectify this?
I hope after my move I can do some soul searching and become the kind of woman I want my daughter to be (lead by example!!!).
I feel like I am a total failure at parenting, no better than that evil woman that gave birth to me. Have I totally ****ed up my 2year old for life by surrounding her with so much anger and violence? Or is there still hope that if I can help myself, heal myself that she can grow up to be a happy young lady?
I'm sorry you're feeling this way, and I sense a lot of anxiety here. Obviously, leaving a relationship that is abusive (and that what it sounds like) is better for your daughter than staying in it. Two-year-olds have tantrums. It's natural. They will hit, bite, holler, throw things. I'm sure the situation is exacerbating it, but a good chunk of the reason for her behavior is her age. You haven't ruined her. Things are dramatic right now, but it'll get better.
Between being 2 years old and the exposure to the volatility in the household, it's no wonder she's behaving this way. Once you're out with her, the tantrums will most likely lessen in their severity. But remember, she's 2... she's bound to have them anyway.
I'm sorry you're feeling this way, and I sense a lot of anxiety here. Obviously, leaving a relationship that is abusive (and that what it sounds like) is better for your daughter than staying in it. Two-year-olds have tantrums. It's natural. They will hit, bite, holler, throw things. I'm sure the situation is exacerbating it, but a good chunk of the reason for her behavior is her age. You haven't ruined her. Things are dramatic right now, but it'll get better.
Lots of anxiety! I have a LOT of my anger placed towards myself ATM. Why the hell did I stay with her dad for so long????
3years ago today (aug 22, 2007) I had my plane flight to get the hell away from her dad but I was a drunken fool and got pregnant hours prior to my flight.
Do almost all 2 year olds have angry tantrums?? Every time she screams or hits or throws something I just HATE myself!!
Kids do not remember anything before 3yo. Get yourself some counseling so no one can ever push your buttons again.
Thank you! I am moving back in with the rents and my dad says he will be able to put me back on his insurance.
I will be out looking for a therapist as I look for a job!!! lol
I hope she dosen't have lasting issues from this. I feel like a POS mom. So many people told me "ohh it is best for the child if mom and dad stay together and work things out" It was the worst thing I could have done!
Between being 2 years old and the exposure to the volatility in the household, it's no wonder she's behaving this way. Once you're out with her, the tantrums will most likely lessen in their severity. But remember, she's 2... she's bound to have them anyway.
No matter how amazing of a parent you are, all 2 year olds go through this?? Maybe I have some unrealistic expectations then. I just want her and I to have this wonderfully fluent communication about issues in our lives.
Every time I see her get angry I freak out and think OMG I am just like my evil mother and she is going to be just like me!!
even tho she is only 2 and some say she won't remember, she is susceptible to your anxiety and anger. she can pick up on all those emotions. even infants are aware of tension. if you want to do the best for her you must try to reign in your own emotions and learn to deal with your issues. taking care of yourself is the best thing you can do for her.
Not true. Lots of people remember things from earlier than 3.
OP, you are not raising your daughter to be like that, she simply sees your frustration. There's a difference.
As she grows, as long as you keep the line of communication open to her, and encourage her to talk about whatever she wants, you and she can have that closeness.
You haven't ruined your daughter.
She also may be sensing your preparing to leave her father. You may be more anxious than usual, or more resolved than usual, and she picks up on that. When small children sense a change coming, it frightens them because they do not know what to expect. She may be acting out on that fear.
Wait till you see how much they hate it, when they see themselves in you!
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