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They like want to be cool with their friends! I took a job in college placing catalog orders for J Crew--we actually got dinged on NON WORDS in our training and evaluations. It really made a huge difference in my speech. I dropped a lot of those um ah uh like but I am sure you don't want to wait for college! Perhaps RECORD them and let them see/hear how they sound? I like the idea of fining them for "bad" words!
Do they have toastmasters at their age?
I correct my 2 and 4 yr old with minor grammar --I don't stop them but I repeat the word or phrase correctly. I hope they will hear me and eventually it will stick.
All I can do is tell you what not to do...and that is correct them all the time. My Mother used to conostantly correct my English whenever I spoke with her, it was so annoying, I just stopped talking to her, because it was not pleasant, it was as if she did not care about the content of what I was actually saying, just analyzing if my English was correct. it was a horrible feeling. To this day, I still remember how hurt I was when I wanted to talk to her about some problems I was having at school, and she started correctly my speech. If felt like she didi not care about me at all.
So, does the speech really matter that much? If it does to you...I think that you are overly controlling and perfection is more important to you than talking to your children, and actually listeing to what they say. I hope this is not correct. Because that is very sad.
It might have been a horrible feeling but she was correcting you for your own good. Maybe you should have altered your way of communicating to be more effective, then she would have stopped correcting you.
I am assuming you are a young adult. Do you have a professional job? Somehow I don't think so. Not only do you not effectively speak but you are marginal in your writing skills. Do you know what Spell Check is? You present yourself as a Senior Member of the board with 424 posts but I can see at least 3 possibly 4 spelling errors and two grammatical errors that are obvious. And yes, it is sad.
May I ask, how old are you, and are you a parent yourself?
I am 45, and I have four children. Sorry if I offended anyone with my post. The intent was to present another point of view on correcting grammar, seen from one who had a Mother who constantly corrected my own English. As for my job, and level of education...hmmm...I will simply defer that. No, I don't spell check, or proof read my work, I will defer that to those who feel that those issues are more important than content. Sad.
Last edited by jasper12; 10-22-2010 at 12:09 AM..
Reason: edit
My mother corrected me too and I'm very grateful for it. I have received several compliments over the years for my professional manner in the workplace, and I know full well that it was down to her - if she'd have let me continue speaking the way all my friends did I'd be stacking shelves in the local supermarket back in chavtown UK alongside them all.
I'm sure they are picking it up from school. I cringe when listening to some of the phrases kids use. For instance, "lookit" makes me grit my teeth. I remember my dd went through a "prolly" phase. I always corrected my children when they used poor grammar. What we did with my own children would be to imitate them right back, so they would see how silly it sounded. They usually found it humorous. I don't think it's necessary that they use perfect grammar 100% of the time, but they should be more careful of how they sound.
Thanks everybody. I like some of the suggestions. I'm really afraid to constantly correct them as I stated in my original post. I don't want to shut down communication.
Perhaps Jasper 12 didn't see that part.
I think I will record them and play it back. We all cringe when we hear ourselves speak so that may work. Or maybe I could count the "likes" and "you knows" and make it a contest to see who gets the fewest for the week. I find making a game out of what I want to teach works very well.
They are not twins but everybody thinks they are. They are both adopted and only 4 months apart in age but they are closer than some twins I know.
I think you need to draw a distinction between using words such as "like" in place of pauses and using them as modifiers to the sentence. A lot of kids have issues where their brain is running faster than their mouth and they often trip over their words. Interjecting a like, um, uh, etc. helps them slow down and catch up. Listen to people who are not very good public speakers and they do the same thing as their thoughts are scrambled do to their anxiety of speaking in front of a group. If this seems to be the case, then I wouldn't "correct" the grammar as much as tell them to slow down and think about what they want to say before speaking.
If it is the opposite issue where they are simply adding the words, then it's more of a problem. In that case I wouldn't correct them as the conversation unfolds, but would give them a gentle reminder at the end that they can drop the unnecessary words. In this case consistency without harshness would be the key.
I had to deal with the first type with my son. He would start talking and then go into a string of uh, uh, uh's. We just told him to slow down and think about what he wanted to say and then say it as clearly as he could. He does pretty well with it and will pause when he finds himself starting to stutter over his words.
We had a workshop one time and a speaker that every other word was a long, drawn out "Ugggghhhh". It got so annoying that she just wasted her time speaking because we were to busy timing her and counting how many "Uggggghhhhhs" she got in, in the shortest period of time. To this day I do not remember what the topic was but I sure remember how annoying it was having to sit through that..
I find that "like" every few words also to be annoying but it is a "age" thing and I have noticed that most outgrow it once they get out into the real world. I had a grand daughter that used that all the time when she was in school, but now that she is grown, she never uses it anymore.
Had another teen that used the "you know" all the time and I just got where every time he said it I would interrupt and say "YES! I know that!" or "NO! I didn't know that!".. (it IS a question after all, isn't it?).. Every time I did it, it disrupted his train of thought and it DID call attention to him as to how much he said that. It does become a habit and they do not realize how much they do it.
My other thing is how fast some people can talk, especially the young people that are out in the real world. They talk so fast that it comes off as sounding like gibberish. It sounds like this "HithisisKimi'mcallingtoconfirmyourappointmentwith doctorJamestomorrow"....
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