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So last week all of my wife's family saw the baby MANY times on different days while i was at work. I have no problem with that. On Friday my wife took the baby to her parents from about 2pm to 6pm. Fine. Not jealous, happy she has help, blah blah blah. Now I told her earlier in the week that I wanted to have time with the baby over the weekend. I have noticed that when I spent a few days straight with him, he really responds to me in a different way, he is more receptive to me and smiles and all that, but only after I spend a BLOCK of time with him.
So I told the Mrs. that since everyone saw him during the week, I wanted to spend the ENTIRE weekend with him. Just me her and him for some family bonding time.
Well, her parents were going away on saturday night and guess what my wife did on friday night? Told them she would bring him by AGAIN the next day, going directly against what I told her I would like to happen. Now I can be flexible and have, but why cant she? We had a blow up about it and she said "I dont see what the big deal is. its only for a half hour (it wasnt, she kept him there for an hour). in my opinion, she's too close to them, so close that my desires get pushed to the wayside. I always am made to feel like the bad guy because I want rules and structure and time with my son. If she could she would take him over there every day of the week and take me along with her! As it was, before he was born, years ago, she made me attend EVERY FAMILY FUNCTION! And when we moved to his country, her home country, i agreed to live with her parents until we got approved for a mortgage. Now we are taking the baby back to visit my family, AND SHE DOESNT EVEN WANT TO STAY WITH MY SISTER! Imagine how I feel? And after our big argument (i told her to pull the car over while she was driving and walked home) she drove RIGHT to her parents house, and stayed there for an hour, knowing that I wanted to spend the weekend with my son. This is the woman who made me take ALL the baby pics off my facebook because "it made her feel uncomfortable" even though only my close friends and family could see them.
Am I wrong to feel this way? I feel like I am not being respected. I dont care WHO sees my son, but when I want to see him, after working a long week only to come home on friday and notice he barely recognizes me, I WANT TO SEE HIM!
As has been repeatedly said before, in your other whinging threads...GET FAMILY COUNSELING. You need it. You're combative, irritable, unreasonable, and jealous. You need solo counseling as well as familiy counseling with your wife.
As has been repeatedly said before, in your other whinging threads...GET FAMILY COUNSELING. You need it. You're combative, irritable, unreasonable, and jealous. You need solo counseling as well as familiy counseling with your wife.
id appreciate it if you didnt respond to my threads. I have seen your other posts here and am really not interested in your opinion in particular. I find other people much helpful and have greatly benefitted from their advice.
id appreciate it if you didnt respond to my threads. I have seen your other posts here and am really not interested in your opinion in particular. I find other people much helpful and have greatly benefitted from their advice.
Thanks for not posting.
Too bad. By posting on an open internet forum asking for advice, you invite anyone to respond. You don't get to choose who answers you.
Do I think you're unreasonable, no. However, you and your wife are obvioulsy on a different page with some things. If you can't discuss it between yourselves without fighting and resorting to a temper tantrum (pulling over the car and walking home = temper tantrum), then counseling is really a valid path for you to pursue.
Expectations of others' behavior can set yourself up for frustration and disappointment.
Are you making yourself as "wantable" as possible? I would not want to spend my time with someone haranguing me and arguing with me about choices I'd made. Have you made a weekend with just you and the baby seem like a fun, desirable thing to have? Or would your wife feel trapped for the weekend with someone argumentative, controlling, and no fun?
You don't need to answer that here - just something to think about.
My relationships improved dramatically when I started practicing acceptance - unconditional acceptance. That might be a leap for you right now, but it can bring you MUCH peace.
The book "Loving What Is" introduced me to The Work of Byron Katie. It's a way of framing your thoughts about a situation so you can release any resistance and arguing. I suggest working on your acceptance, rather than trying to change your wife or her family. Be someone your wife wants to be around.
I think this has less to do with the son and more to do with your feeling isolated living someplace surrounded by only your wife's family and not your own. Maybe you feel like your son is becoming part of her family but not parts of yours. Your wife probably respects and sympathizes with that on some level, so maybe try to work through that.
BTW, I understood that first post to mean that you and your wife are not from the same country.
id appreciate it if you didnt respond to my threads. I have seen your other posts here and am really not interested in your opinion in particular. I find other people much helpful and have greatly benefitted from their advice.
Thanks for not posting.
No you haven't. You've taken advantage of their time, effort and good natures in order to extend your vendetta against your inlaws.
You don't want to benefit, you just want to rant. This has nothing to do with your kid, it's all about you. Grow up. You're a father, not a 13 year old.
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