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My 4 year old girl doesn't want to do swimming lessons.
Should we make her?
Will she ever want to?
What age should we make her do lessons even if she doesn't want to?
I think all people should know how to swim as part of basic survival. Not learning to safely handle herself in water is not an option. "I don't want to" is not a good excuse....but I understand that forcing kids to do things can be counterproductive, too.
My 4 year old girl doesn't want to do swimming lessons.
Should we make her?
Will she ever want to?
What age should we make her do lessons even if she doesn't want to?
I think all people should know how to swim as part of basic survival. Not learning to safely handle herself in water is not an option. "I don't want to" is not a good excuse....but I understand that forcing kids to do things can be counterproductive, too.
Can she watch a class first? She might have a scary idea of what the lessons consist of. (Had a friend whose son thought they just threw you in the water and the kids that survived went to the next class. ....thanks to an older brother.) Does she like the water typicaly? Is she scared of it?
When I was little I had the same fears as your daughter. Here's what my Mom did: She had me attend a class, but told me I could sit on the sidelines and not go in the water. After watching all the kids splashing around and having a blast with the instructors, I didn't want to be left out and asked to join them. Maybe you could do something similar with your daughter. That way she could see that there's no need to be afraid, but feel she has some control over the process.
It's not a fear of water. She simply has no desire to swim. If we take her to a lesson to watch, she'll have fun climbing all over mom & me, and talking and playing with us, and completely ignore the class and what they are doing. She has no issue being at the beach and being told that she cannot go in the water because she cannot swim.
She'd rather spend her time doing art and markers, drawing and coloring, making story books, and telling stories.
In general, this is the case for most anything. She likes being at home and doing things at home, and has little interest to do things outside of the house. For the most part, I don't think forcing her to do things she doesn't want to do is productive. Swimming is the exception because I know it is much easier to learn as a kid than as an adult.
I'd force her and explain that as a parent, your job is to keep her safe, and part of that is to learn basic swimming/water safety skills. She doesn't have to go swimming all the time if she doesn't like it, but she has to learn a few key things and practice every so often.
I'd definitely search for a gentle and supportive swim class. Maybe even private lessons, or one where you get in the water with her. I took one at about her age where they pushed us off a high diving board and it was traumatizing! But overall, I view learning how to swim as an important safety precaution, like using a car seat.
Don't force her. There will be another opportunity, later this year, or next year, or the year after that. Maybe she doesn't feel ready yet.
I agree that safety is important and knowing how to swim is part of it, but pushing her against her will won't help. So I would wait if I were you. She's 4!
I'd force her. Be kind about it, have her watch a class first but at the end of the day "it's not a choice."
I'm often ranting on this board about how parents pay no attention to actual safety statistics. Water safety statistically is one of the most important things to teach our kids.
Many kids don't "want" to learn how to swim. It's not disinterest, she's intimidated and/or scared but isn't going to tell you she is because she's 4. Very few kids love it all the time, most are scared and most become more scared the longer you wait.
At reputable swim schools where they do nothing but teach kids, this is par for course... we've been at three such places, all great, all equipped to deal with it. In my mind, swimming isn't like taking dance class or playing little league because you aren't going to die dancing or hitting a ball. You put them in swim lessons to teach them to be SAFE, to protect them. If she refuses to swim after 10 lessons, fine, take a break and then go back. It's YOUR job to teach her to be safe. It's not a choice to be safe or unsafe and it's certainly not hers.
Mine started lessons at 18 mos and 3 but everyone in TX has their kids in lessons by 3 at the latest.
Eh, my kids started swimming in elementary school, and all ended up competitive swimmers. Preschoolers are notoriously uncooperative with enforced lessons. I think it's perfectly okay to wait another year, two, or even three.
Swimming lessons for a 4 year old are a waste of time. Take her to a pool over the summer and let her play with friends there. When she is ready, she'll start putting her head under and enjoying the water and trying to swim a little herself. When that happens, it's time for swimming lessons. Before that, it's a waste of money. I forced my son into lessons for two or three years - he hated all of them and failed every class. Then one summer when he was 5 he made some friends at the local pool, and in just a few weeks started doing all the things the swimming teachers had tried and failed to teach him in the past.
If she's not ready, don't force it. In the past, swimming lessons were not recommended until children were at least 5. Many organizations still recommend that. However, the preschool and baby swim stuff has really taken off, although I think it is mostly just a winter moneymaker for local pools.
And just to be clear - the idea that it's a matter of safety is flawed. She will NOT learn any skill that will keep her safe if she is not ready. My son certainly didn't. It will just be someone trying to coax her into putting her head under and showing her how to kick her feet while sitting on the wall. There are swim safety courses for kids, designed to help them survive if they fall into water, but this is very likely not the swim lessons you are talking about. Ordinary swim lessons at your local pool do not increase your child's safety around water until the child is actually ready to learn to float and swim - and if she's not ready, she won't learn.
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