Would you want your neighbors to check on your latchkey kids without your permission? (boy, 10 yr old)
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I, too, don't think of a 17 year old as a "latch key kid," and assumed "latch key kid" meant something like 10, 11, maybe 12. Old enough to be home alone, young enough that they might want a bit more help than the average adult during rough weather.
I think it's rather sad to see how many people are outraged over the nerve of a neighbor to actually act, well, neighborly. I don't think there's anything wrong with a concerned neighbor ringing the bell or knocking on the door in bad weather.
I expect neigbors to keep an eye on one another. That includes both adults and kids. That doesn't mean barging INTO the house or reporting back every little thing to a parent, but going over during a storm or before the risk of a big storm asking if they were okay, needed anything, and just to let them know that the neighbor is home in case the kids need anything -- what could possible be wrong with that? If the parents are so concerned about the risks of a particular neighbor then presumably they've discussed that with their kids in advance, and the kids know not to go anywhere near them. Caring about your neighbors isn't "snooping." Maybe if they do it all the time, but this situation was in the case of bad weather.
My kids are older and due to my work schedule, there weren't too many times where they were home for extended periods without me home. That said, there was one time when when we did have a tornado touch down nearby (pretty unusual for us). I was completely unaware even though my office is only a couple miles from my home. I had been in a meeting when my DD tried to call. They had been home and didn't have the TV or radio on and a neighbor called to tell them to go to the basement and bring a radio. I was grateful. If there is something going on that could be construed as an emergency, a neighbor calling or knocking on the door to check on kids (or anyone for that matter) who they know are home alone seems to me like a good thing. I don't get the concern over people being "nosey" or "snooping"...just what do you think people are looking for or will find out by calling or knocking on the door standing on the front porch and asking if everything is OK?
My kids are older and due to my work schedule, there weren't too many times where they were home for extended periods without me home. That said, there was one time when when we did have a tornado touch down nearby (pretty unusual for us). I was completely unaware even though my office is only a couple miles from my home. I had been in a meeting when my DD tried to call. They had been home and didn't have the TV or radio on and a neighbor called to tell them to go to the basement and bring a radio. I was grateful. If there is something going on that could be construed as an emergency, a neighbor calling or knocking on the door to check on kids (or anyone for that matter) who they know are home alone seems to me like a good thing. I don't get the concern over people being "nosey" or "snooping"...just what do you think people are looking for or will find out by calling or knocking on the door standing on the front porch and asking if everything is OK?
You make reasonable arguements.
Reading through all the posts, what jumps out at me is that people are making assumptions that their experiences and situations are the same for others.
For example, on our last block there was one very nosey neighbor, which is unusual, I hope. I am talking beyond just the asking-questions-variety; we ended up having to take out a no-tresspass order against her. But, it took several years for her true nature to become apparent. She would not just stand on the porch - she would push her way in and she would start snooping. We are now much more hestitant in our new neighborhood based on that experience. There are only a few here that I trust with my schedule to know when my kids might be home alone.
We don't experence much unexpected weather in our area, while others seem to have something happen very frequently. That also influnces our choices.
I also think there is a difference in opinion through out these posts about what is an emergency worthy of needing our children to be checked. There is the obvious, such as tornados, fires, blizzards. But, the gray areas are a more personal call. Again, our own personal experiences and situations will influnce what we would do. And, it would be very surprising if that was the same for everybody!
She would not just stand on the porch - she would push her way in and she would start snooping.
That is not snooping or nosey. That is assault, followed by trespassing.
Peepholes, intercoms, stormdoors that lock, answering questions through a closed door. All are acceptable ways to communicate to someone if just to say "yes, we're fine, thanks for checking"...I don't think there is anything wrong with being cautious but I do think there are more good intentions than bad...
That is not snooping or nosey. That is assault, followed by trespassing.
Peepholes, intercoms, stormdoors that lock, answering questions through a closed door. All are acceptable ways to communicate to someone if just to say "yes, we're fine, thanks for checking"...I don't think there is anything wrong with being cautious but I do think there are more good intentions than bad...
I agree that those are all fine ways to check. My point is that not everyone behaves that way. In my example, she seemed to be a "normal" person for several years. We later found out that was a pattern with her resulting in frequent moves when she would have a flare up. It only took one bad experence for us to no longer trust our children to the odds of "more good intentions than bad..." My point is that we each have our own experiences and what may seem (and be) reasonable to you would appear to be folly to others.
I agree that those are all fine ways to check. My point is that not everyone behaves that way. In my example, she seemed to be a "normal" person for several years. We later found out that was a pattern with her resulting in frequent moves when she would have a flare up. It only took one bad experence for us to no longer trust our children to the odds of "more good intentions than bad..." My point is that we each have our own experiences and what may seem (and be) reasonable to you would appear to be folly to others.
Of course...I just thought it was odd, the number of posters who were conderned about snoopiness or nosiness....I know people like that IRL too...they don't get to know neighbors or they don't ever do social things because they are sure everyone is just nosy and so very curious about them. That's the part I don't get. I understand totally the being cautious part and the safety concern and very much agree that proper safety precautions should be taken. The concern that someone may see what color carpet you have or that by standing in the front door they may see that you still have breakfast dishes on the counter ...that's the part I don't get. But that is just me...<shrugs>
Recently an issue was raised on another website regarding checking in on your neighbors during bad weather situations. Would you want your neighbors to go to your house and check on the wellbeing of your children if you were not at home without asking you first? Of course I am talking about kids who are responsible and legally allowed to be at home alone, but who otherwise are in no apparent danger.
I'm quoting the original post in this thread, because I think there's a whole lot of posts taking it out of context and turning it into another "but my situation is more important than yours" issue.
Kids need to be taught how to answer the door (and how to NOT answer the door) when people come knocking. If they are not mature enough to know how to do this, then they are not mature enough to be left alone.
If they are responsible kids (as the OP has specified) then they will know not to open the door just because it's a neighbor, unless the parents have already included them on the "people you can let in" list.
It really isn't a big deal. The OP isn't saying anything about someone demanding to be let in to inspect the house. The OP is saying that in bad weather, a neighbor might come to check on the wellbeing of the kids. The kids only need to yell "Yep, we're all fine, thanks for checking!" through the door, and that's the end of that.
^ Very sensible posts. If you don't trust your kids to handle a knock on the door, then you probably shouldn't be leaving them at home. The neighbor is probably just trying to be nice. It's also just as much of a way for the neighbors to let the kids know that they are home if they need them; it's nice to know that there are others around if something goes wrong. And while presumably these kids are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves in an ordinary situation, they might not know what to do or who to call if something out-of-ordinary happens; what's the number to call if the power goes out, for example? What if there's a tornado warning and you don't have a basement of your own? What if the parents get stuck and can't get home until late? At least the kids know that a neighbor is around if they need or want them. Just knowing that there are people around can be a comfort. I think that goes for both adults and children, by the way. I like to know that if I have an emergency that there are people around who are able and willing to help, even if I never have a need for it.
It is interesting to me that anyone considers children over twelve to be irresponsible at home alone. I was babysitting at 12 or 13 and many other kids my age were doing that too. I made good money because I was a responsible kid.
For the original question, I do not think it is unreasonable for neighbors to check on latchkey kids even older ones in the case of emergencies or bad weather. I don't think the kids should let people in though even neighbors they know well. They can get information by talking to the neighbor through the door as others have said. I also knew my neighbors though and trusted them, so if I was going to be delayed I would call the kids and call the neighbors to let them know to keep an eye on the house.
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