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Again, I'm not defending these people that she worked for. But her behavior (animal neglect, drug use, etc) is being glossed over.
"Oh, I'm so sorry that happened to you" "I hope you will learn a lesson" are posts that are repeated again and again - obviously, this girl focuses on the pity and not on the advice. I don't believe ANY of her posts/threads belong in this forum, but if they're going to be left here because folks are saying they are PARENTING her, then I think people should PARENT her, not enable her.
Pity and petting belong in a different forum. Threads to discuss whether or not these people were/are good employers, belongs under Work and Employment.
Lord have mercy SSKKC! What do you want all of us to do? March over to her mom's house and give Txtqueen the butt kicking she deserves? (We can wish!) We can only express ourselves within the terms of CD and advise the best way we can.
I understand your frustration but taking it out on everyone isn't good for you or for anyone else in that matter.
I hope Txtqueen does learn a lesson out of this, that she should have never taken a job when she can't even be responsible for herself! Yes time and time again she looks for advice, and maybe it is for pity but her stories seem to resonate to some of us on this board and we only hope she finally listens (which we all know its highly unlikely but hey you never know).
I agree her behavior is appalling but what is done is done. She needs to move on the right way and not ply herself with drugs and booze.
I was once her age and I did many a stupid thing till this day that I regret. Yes I thought I knew it all, yes I would cry my sob story to anyone who would listen, yes it was the rest of the world's fault and not my own, but after awhile and many repeative words of advice and encouragement which lead me on the right path, I listened.
We can only hope that this will be the case for Txt.
Again, I'm not defending these people that she worked for. But her behavior (animal neglect, drug use, etc) is being glossed over.
"Oh, I'm so sorry that happened to you" "I hope you will learn a lesson" are posts that are repeated again and again - obviously, this girl focuses on the pity and not on the advice. I don't believe ANY of her posts/threads belong in this forum, but if they're going to be left here because folks are saying they are PARENTING her, then I think people should PARENT her, not enable her.
Pity and petting belong in a different forum. Threads to discuss whether or not these people were/are good employers, belongs under Work and Employment.
Perhaps, but this is the parenting forum, and those people are parents "employing" people to look after their kids, and I have an issue with the way they're going about doing that.
Plus, there are plenty of people taking txtqueen to task for the situation.
Just to be clear, I didn't think you were defending the nanny family. But anybody who leaves their dog and/or kids in the care of somebody with zero qualifications and cuts corners with all of their welfare in order to be cheap is not going to get any empathy from me. If they'd had any brains at all they wouldn't have gone about getting childcare in this manner in the first place.
I understand what you're saying, and I didn't say her actions were right. But the people she was staying with are far more appalling to me. After all, they have children that they're leaving in the hands of their revolving door "nannies". While she might have given it right back, I don't have any sympathy for them at all. You were saying that they trusted her with their home and their pet (not to mention their kids). Well, while it suited them, they didn't have any compunction about it.
I don't feel pity for her, as such, (we all bring things on ourselves) but if she learns a lesson from it, great. The other people are just going to go right back and find some other young person to do their dirty work for them illegally while holding the roof that the "employee" is paying for over their heads. The next one might not be as readily able to bounce back as txt.
The fact that she couldn't figure out all of this herself, and had to rely on "cybermoms" to tell her, and even when they told her, she STILL lacked the intelligence to heed the advice - shows that she isn't mature OR intelligent enough for anything better than BB&B. And even that - I'm guessing is a stroke of luck, and not any actual skill on her end.
She bought a CHEAP dog food, not the dog's regular food. Sudden changes in an animal's diet can cause digestive issues, which she had NO CONCERN FOR (no empathy at ALL!). Supposedly she did this because the store was closed that night. Did she then go back (she didn't feed the dog the food that night - the dog was at the neighbor's house) and exchange it the following day, then bring THAT to the neighbors? No, she did not.
and nanny isn't servant...this is not something she is required to do.
She accepted the responsibility for the dog. She was asked to dogwatch for a few days. She did not tell them she couldn't do it and was not capable. They paid her extra for it (she was not working with the children while they were gone). They gave her the money for the premium food. She failed in her responsiblities, not just to the employers, but to the DOG.
I understand your frustration but taking it out on everyone isn't good for you or for anyone else in that matter.
Coddling and enabling and defending her neglect of this dog is ridiculous. If you or another poster are taking it personally, then perhaps the offended party is being offended by the truth. There is no cure for that.
Obviously, the people who hired her (to be a nanny, to work at BBB, etc) are not interested in the character of their employees. This is sad. Hopefully, they will take more care in the hiring of people in the future.
Lord have mercy SSKKC! What do you want all of us to do? March over to her mom's house and give Txtqueen the butt kicking she deserves? (We can wish!) We can only express ourselves within the terms of CD and advise the best way we can.
What do I think you should do? Well, I think you should quit pandering to her and helping her find ways to excuse her own lack of judgment and poor character, rather than helping her to blame those hired her.
An analogy that just came to me - banks loaned money to people who lied on their mortgage applications. Some folks claimed to earn $150k a year in order to qualify to buy $450k homes, while actually making $60k. Those who lied on their applications then stopped making payments when the intro "no interest" period ended and feel that since the bank didn't verify their income, then they (and taxpayers) should just let them keep the house, free and clear now and feel no responsibility for their own lies. There are some that foolishly defend those freeloaders, just as they defend this con artist.
Again, the lessons she has never learned (and is being taught HERE that many posters think it's unnecessary to learn) is that 1) two wrongs don't make a right and 2) empathy - she has none (as evidenced by her defense of her treatment of the dog), and I suspect will have to google it for a definition.
Perhaps, but this is the parenting forum, and those people are parents "employing" people to look after their kids, and I have an issue with the way they're going about doing that.
Plus, there are plenty of people taking txtqueen to task for the situation.
Just to be clear, I didn't think you were defending the nanny family. But anybody who leaves their dog and/or kids in the care of somebody with zero qualifications and cuts corners with all of their welfare in order to be cheap is not going to get any empathy from me. If they'd had any brains at all they wouldn't have gone about getting childcare in this manner in the first place.
The DOG deserves the empathy. Not the owners. That has been my point all along.
Txt, you have been given some good advice. In your defense, I don't think you are doing anything so different than a lot of other people your age. Keep in mind that the decisions you make now will affect the rest of your life. You (like pretty much everyone) are going to have to sacrifice now in order to have the life you want as an adult. That may mean living with your mom so you can afford to work part time and go to school or the academy. It may mean that you give up some of your social time in order to work enough hours to pay rent. Only you can decide what you want long term and decide the best way to get yourself there.
Coddling and enabling and defending her neglect of this dog is ridiculous. If you or another poster are taking it personally, then perhaps the offended party is being offended by the truth. There is no cure for that.
I am not taking it personal. It seems you are. Your posts seem venomous and dripping with rage.
Quote:
What do I think you should do? Well, I think you should quit pandering to her and helping her find ways to excuse her own lack of judgment and poor character, rather than helping her to blame those hired her.
Pandering to her? No one is pandering to her. We have all given her advice and that is all we can do. No one has excused her. Two wrongs don't make it right but what the heck do you want any of us to do? Get real this is a forum, we can't force someone to be responsible or change over night. Its like you want us to move the moon because you are not happy that it isn't in the right place for you.
It seems your problem lies more in the fact that she got the wrong dog food for the dog. I am a dog owner and it is my responsibilty to make sure that my dog has the appropriate food before I go anywhere on vacation. I do not leave it to the kennel, my neighbors, my children, or complete utter strangers and it is always done beforehand. That is reponsible dog ownership and being a responsible pet parent. The dog isn't dead and the owners fired her. What more do you want? Stone txtqueen for buying the wrong food? Get a grip...
She bought a CHEAP dog food, not the dog's regular food. Sudden changes in an animal's diet can cause digestive issues, which she had NO CONCERN FOR (no empathy at ALL!). Supposedly she did this because the store was closed that night. Did she then go back (she didn't feed the dog the food that night - the dog was at the neighbor's house) and exchange it the following day, then bring THAT to the neighbors? No, she did not.
and nanny isn't servant...this is not something she is required to do.
She accepted the responsibility for the dog. She was asked to dogwatch for a few days. She did not tell them she couldn't do it and was not capable. They paid her extra for it (she was not working with the children while they were gone). They gave her the money for the premium food. She failed in her responsiblities, not just to the employers, but to the DOG.
I understand your frustration but taking it out on everyone isn't good for you or for anyone else in that matter.
Coddling and enabling and defending her neglect of this dog is ridiculous. If you or another poster are taking it personally, then perhaps the offended party is being offended by the truth. There is no cure for that.
Obviously, the people who hired her (to be a nanny, to work at BBB, etc) are not interested in the character of their employees. This is sad. Hopefully, they will take more care in the hiring of people in the future.
Lord have mercy SSKKC! What do you want all of us to do? March over to her mom's house and give Txtqueen the butt kicking she deserves? (We can wish!) We can only express ourselves within the terms of CD and advise the best way we can.
What do I think you should do? Well, I think you should quit pandering to her and helping her find ways to excuse her own lack of judgment and poor character, rather than helping her to blame those hired her.
An analogy that just came to me - banks loaned money to people who lied on their mortgage applications. Some folks claimed to earn $150k a year in order to qualify to buy $450k homes, while actually making $60k. Those who lied on their applications then stopped making payments when the intro "no interest" period ended and feel that since the bank didn't verify their income, then they (and taxpayers) should just let them keep the house, free and clear now and feel no responsibility for their own lies. There are some that foolishly defend those freeloaders, just as they defend this con artist.
Again, the lessons she has never learned (and is being taught HERE that many posters think it's unnecessary to learn) is that 1) two wrongs don't make a right and 2) empathy - she has none (as evidenced by her defense of her treatment of the dog), and I suspect will have to google it for a definition.
Give me a break...i have done that to many dogs and it hasn't caused any damage. And the girl was at work and couldn't get the food....so how is that her fault? They had it in their mind to fire her and were just looking for an excuse. Don't get me wrong i think txt is immature,lazy,and naive.....but in this case she did the best she could.
Enough. This is the Parenting forum, not "Dear Abby."
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) We can only express ourselves within the terms of CD and advise the best way we can.
