Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I was raised that no matter how old I was if I was living in my parents house, I had to follow their rules. Good luck
There is a difference though, as you get older the rules should reflect your legal age.
Just because it is their house and their rules, their rules should reflect his age, putting non-age appropriate rules on someone is not right, it being your house doesn't make it right either, making them reflect their age is the only thing that makes it right.
Telling an 18 year old he needs to contribute to the household and being respectful.- Appropriate.
Telling an 18 year old he can't sleep at his girlfriends or have sex when he is legally and adult and they have no legal right to tell him he can't do that. - Not appropriate.
You bring up a good point that I would need to think about. I would probably make the kids pay their own portion of cell phone bills and car insurance. But all the other things like rent, food, electric, etc? No, I wouldn't make them pay that kind of thing.
I'm totally with you on the financial aspects of your rant.
I include any expense in running a household part of "shelter." Internet and cable are part of "shelter" in my household. Anything that is used by all household members are part of "food and shelter" to me.
But personal expenses like cel phones, car insurance, car payments, clothing, entertainment, etc., (anything that only pertains to that one person) should be paid by the adult child.
Medical expenses are a case by case basis. An adult child would need to pay for removal of wisdom teeth (my parents made me pay for that at 19) and normal doctors' appointments and dental expenses. But they wouldn't be required to pay for expensive surgery (my parents picked up the bill for my ovarian resection when I was 20).
I didn't completely ignore it. I was discussing the issue with others.
As a matter of fact, I have acknowledged what the OP said many times.
You just reposted the sleepover comments without acknowledging that he decided to let that go. Didn't you complain about someone else picking and choosing posts to fit whatever argument you guys were having?
This thread has become the same arguments over and over again, it's not going anywhere useful, I do hope the OP has shut it off because he seems to have a real problem.
I don't care whether he's legally an adult or not, he's living under your roof. It's your house and your rules. If he sleeps over his GF's house when you forbid it, merely say to him, "You have 3 days to move your things over to her house. After that, the locks will be changed and you are no longer free to come and go here, though you can visit."
I would add that he's always free to return living to your house as long as he abides by your rules.
Parents are way too permissive and allow their kids every privilege.
This isn't about restricting his sex life, which is none of your business. He's going to have sex with whomever he wishes, whenever he wishes. But not by disrespecting your rules. You're perfectly within your rights to not allow him to sleep with his GF in your house, or by spending all night over at her house.
I agree 100%. An adult child needs to take care of himself, parents who baby their kids are not helping them to grow up and be responsible adults who can take care of themsleves, that is part of the job of being a parent. I've known 20 yr olds who didn't know how to do laundry, or load a dishwasher, it's embarrassing for them once they realize they should know this simple stuff. The OP has said he could deal with the sex issue if the kid wasn't so disrespectful, yet people keep going on and on, and arguing about the gf/sleepover issue.
This kid is treating the parents like crap and being disrespectful, he refuses to clean w/o a major fight, he apparently lies. The parents are suffering and have every right to ask him to leave their home, they would be doing him a favor because he would be forced to grow up and act like a responsible adult. I'm sure the OP is gone, he hasn't posted, he probably got sick of all the petty bickering.
Eh he said that after no one seemed to agree with his decision. If his kid was so disrespectful he would have mentioned that in post one. The fact that it came after the fact shows he wasn't getting the response he wanted so he's making the son out to be worse than he is. I think the more than likely truth is the son probably has been disrespectful but as a result of the way his father is acting. If he has a tight noose about his son sleeping with his gf....then what other equally ridiculous house rules does the man have?
I don't care whether he's legally an adult or not, he's living under your roof. It's your house and your rules. If he sleeps over his GF's house when you forbid it, merely say to him, "You have 3 days to move your things over to her house. After that, the locks will be changed and you are no longer free to come and go here, though you can visit."
I would add that he's always free to return living to your house as long as he abides by your rules.
Parents are way too permissive and allow their kids every privilege.
This isn't about restricting his sex life, which is none of your business. He's going to have sex with whomever he wishes, whenever he wishes. But not by disrespecting your rules. You're perfectly within your rights to not allow him to sleep with his GF in your house, or by spending all night over at her house.
In many states, evicting a resident, even an adult child, requires the intervention of the county sheriff's office with 30 days notice. That's why we set our son up in a rented room and paid the initial bills. He was no longer a resident in our home, so there was no need for legal intervention. We avoided the unpleasantness and bitterness that would have come with kicking him out.
I don't care whether he's legally an adult or not, he's living under your roof. It's your house and your rules. If he sleeps over his GF's house when you forbid it, merely say to him, "You have 3 days to move your things over to her house. After that, the locks will be changed and you are no longer free to come and go here, though you can visit."
I would add that he's always free to return living to your house as long as he abides by your rules.
Parents are way too permissive and allow their kids every privilege.
This isn't about restricting his sex life, which is none of your business. He's going to have sex with whomever he wishes, whenever he wishes. But not by disrespecting your rules. You're perfectly within your rights to not allow him to sleep with his GF in your house, or by spending all night over at her house.
Today no parent ever wants to be viewed as uncool and tell a child no to something. Kid wants an iPhone but parents can't afford it? Just go into debt, the kid *needs* to be cool, have unlimited text messaging. Girl tells her folks that a boy is pressuring her for sex and the parents haul he to the birth control clinic telling her she needs to think of her social life first, have sex, be popular.
Today kids make the rules, the parents seem very afraid that they won't have the coolest kid if they aren't the coolest parent. The word "no" is out.
I have an 18 year old who is a senior in high school. He tried to pull this BS about him being 18 and can do what he wants. My answer was as long as he's staying under my roof he most certainly can't do what he wants and that there are still rules. He can pack up and go live somewhere else if he doesn't like it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
