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You'd be surprised. They're not getting off free financially. My husband had a few employees who had 10 children to 10 different mothers. Almost thier entire paychecks go to child support. They're earning 90k to 100k per year and only getting to keep $600 per month for themselves. Yet they continue to get more women pregnant. Boggles the mind.
Granted, the amount of money the mothers are getting doesn't support the children. It's mind boggling that the men would continue to produce children when they are basically impoverished by paying child support. It doesn't make sense why they keep having children. But I assure you they are not living a high lifestyle while their children go without.
Yes, but, I'm sure for every one that's paying there's a hundred deadbeat dads boasting my pistol's still loaded, who can I shoot next...
This sounds like the school where I teach. Last year I added up all the children that I knew my students had. It was about 25% of the girls and quite a few of the boys, with several students having more than one child. I haven't done the numbers for this year yet.
I've been at this school for 18 years now. Five years ago, I had my first student whose mother I had taught my first year. Now I've lost count of those second generation students.
There is no simple explanation or solution to the problem. In fact, for many of the families, it's not seen as a problem at all. It is the natural way of doing things. There is a nearly complete disconnect between the reality that they live and the way that things are done in the world at large.
First of all, high school graduation and marriage are not seen as a given for our students. In fact, most of the girls have no intention of getting married, ever. They simply don't see a husband as a positive in their lives. That doesn't keep them from wanting to have children.
I don't know about how welfare payments work in this state, but I'm imagining that there is no cap on Medicaid, housing assistance, or child care assistance. If a (grand)mother has reached her 5-year limit, then there is usually a teen child/mother who can begin hers. I don't really know.
Another factor is that the students don't really know where the money comes from that supports their families. They think that the government just prints money. They don't understand that actual people in other states are having to pay taxes to send to them so that they can have their expenses paid. When it is explained to them, they still don't get it.
One of the aspects that is most worrisome is the number of students who arrive at high school who already have children. I don't believe that it is the middle school boys who are the fathers of these children. The Department of Children's Services is overwhelmed and apparently doesn't consider statutory rape a problem.
Another disturbing reality at our school is that the students who are academically focused and intent on building a life for themselves that does not depend on government hand-outs are criticized for "not keeping it real" and other insults that convey the idea that they think they are better than those whose lives center around sex, drugs, and entertainment. Even so, a number of our top students also get pregnant. We have had two pregnant valedictorians since I have been there.
We even have a number of single teachers at our school who have recently come back from maternity leave, and guess what! No husbands for them either! It's just not a way of life to get married before having children.
I don't have any answers. The situation is bad and is not improving.
This sounds like the school where I teach. Last year I added up all the children that I knew my students had. It was about 25% of the girls and quite a few of the boys, with several students having more than one child. I haven't done the numbers for this year yet.
I've been at this school for 18 years now. Five years ago, I had my first student whose mother I had taught my first year. Now I've lost count of those second generation students.
There is no simple explanation or solution to the problem. In fact, for many of the families, it's not seen as a problem at all. It is the natural way of doing things. There is a nearly complete disconnect between the reality that they live and the way that things are done in the world at large.
First of all, high school graduation and marriage are not seen as a given for our students. In fact, most of the girls have no intention of getting married, ever. They simply don't see a husband as a positive in their lives. That doesn't keep them from wanting to have children.
I don't know about how welfare payments work in this state, but I'm imagining that there is no cap on Medicaid, housing assistance, or child care assistance. If a (grand)mother has reached her 5-year limit, then there is usually a teen child/mother who can begin hers. I don't really know.
Another factor is that the students don't really know where the money comes from that supports their families. They think that the government just prints money. They don't understand that actual people in other states are having to pay taxes to send to them so that they can have their expenses paid. When it is explained to them, they still don't get it.
One of the aspects that is most worrisome is the number of students who arrive at high school who already have children. I don't believe that it is the middle school boys who are the fathers of these children. The Department of Children's Services is overwhelmed and apparently doesn't consider statutory rape a problem.
Another disturbing reality at our school is that the students who are academically focused and intent on building a life for themselves that does not depend on government hand-outs are criticized for "not keeping it real" and other insults that convey the idea that they think they are better than those whose lives center around sex, drugs, and entertainment. Even so, a number of our top students also get pregnant. We have had two pregnant valedictorians since I have been there.
We even have a number of single teachers at our school who have recently come back from maternity leave, and guess what! No husbands for them either! It's just not a way of life to get married before having children.
I don't have any answers. The situation is bad and is not improving.
Spot on.
My husband, who is black, is from Memphis and almost all his extended family still lives there. The culture of the city in general is about 10-15 years behind the average city in the US in the way they live.
His oldest sister is 47, has 5 kids ranging in age from 20 to 27, by three different fathers, none of whom she married, but she has been married at least twice.
#1 has 2 kids 10 and 4 months, 2 different fathers, never married to either.
#2 has one kid 3 yrs old, married to the mother
#3 has 4 kids, at least 2 different fathers, never married
#4 has no kids is not married
#5 has a 1 month old, not married nor even involved with the father
Between them all (including mom) they might have a handful of college credits, but it's just not part of their plans or capabilities overall.
Jobs are frequently lost or given up.
Living situations can change at a moments notice. Section 8, Title I, WIC are all parts of their life vocabulary.
Kids are constantly balanced/shuffled amongst relatives, including aunts and uncles.
That's life there, for so many, not just them. It's just the way it works there. It has nothing to do with media.
My husband, who is black, is from Memphis and almost all his extended family still lives there. The culture of the city in general is about 10-15 years behind the average city in the US in the way they live.
His oldest sister is 47, has 5 kids ranging in age from 20 to 27, by three different fathers, none of whom she married, but she has been married at least twice.
#1 has 2 kids 10 and 4 months, 2 different fathers, never married to either.
#2 has one kid 3 yrs old, married to the mother
#3 has 4 kids, at least 2 different fathers, never married
#4 has no kids is not married
#5 has a 1 month old, not married nor even involved with the father
Between them all (including mom) they might have a handful of college credits, but it's just not part of their plans or capabilities overall.
Jobs are frequently lost or given up.
Living situations can change at a moments notice. Section 8, Title I, WIC are all parts of their life vocabulary.
Kids are constantly balanced/shuffled amongst relatives, including aunts and uncles.
That's life there, for so many, not just them. It's just the way it works there. It has nothing to do with media.
That's typical in the region I'm in. Many of the high schools have day care centers right on campus for the children of the teen parents. It's not very rare for a girl to have 3 children by the time she reaches 18 and you see the grandmothers - themselves in their 30s dropping off the kindergarter and then taking the young mother to the high school.
It becomes generational and the norm.
It's not that these girls don't believe in marriage - in fact many of them even after 3 kids dream of a big wedding with the white gown and bridal party. They want a husband - but they don't really need one. The government provides far better than their boyfriends ever could. The boyfriends are the ones who see little need in marriage.
If you ask them, many of the girls will admit they had a baby because they thought it would make them special to their boyfriends. They believe it will keep the boyfriend coming around and being a father makes him proud.
There's no downside really in it for the girls, they'll get their food stamps, WIC, housing assistance, Medicaid and even free cash for 5 years. They will attract certain men with this free housing and food stamps that provide a live in guy a free place to stay and free meals.
It really won't matter if the boyfriend has a job and they take his check out for child support for kids he sired out there somewhere - the government provides the housing and food stamps and wIC regardless so he doesn't need to chip in for much.
I looked at the demographics earlier today and didn't see anything that stood out as THE reason either. It's an impoverished area but other impoverished areas in the country have lower teen pregancy rates. It's reported as a high crime area. Some comments at the end of news articles are blaming welfare. Maybe Tennessee doesn't have welfare reform like other areas of the country perhaps? In my area, people don't get extra money for each child and they're only allowed to have welfare for maximum of 5 years in their lifetime. Maybe Tennessee's welfare system still allows people to stay on welfare indefinitately and rewards having more children---like welfare did in the past. I don't know. Just an idea.
edited to add: I just checked into Tennessee's welfare reform and there is a 60 month lifetime max. I guess welfare isn't the reason either.
To a teenager with no educational ambitions and no job prospects, 60 months of welfare might seem like a very long time. Most 17 year olds aren't thinking what they'll be doing in 5 years. Plus a baby isn't just a 5 year meal ticket on welfare. Assuming the father is known, mom can get child support for 18 years.
This is several years ago but I used to live across the street from a woman who had 4 kids by 3 fathers and lived very nicely on child support. According to her, she got 20% of two of the father's income and 30% of the other's income. Of course they have to make a decent income for this to work.
Sadly, teen aged girls with no other prospects may see a baby as a means to get taken care of....at least for now...
There are some interesting books on the topic of pregnancy and poverty. One is Promises I Can Keep: Why Poor Women Put Motherhood Before Marriage by Kathyrn Edin and Maria Kefalas. Kathyrn and Maria spent five years living and working with and interviewing poor women from all races and age groups who were living in Philadelphia's depressed neighborhoods and in Camden, NJ, Philly's poorest industrial suburb.
Blaming the media is rubbish, total rubbish. What's more - it's a red herring that will take the energy away from the community on finding the real reason this is happening.
These girls are watching the same TV and listening to the same music that the rest of the country's HS students watch and listen to. For that matter, the US has way more teen pregnancies that the rest of the industrialized world, and TV is way more racy in most countries than it is in the US. How come the rest of the world's teens aren't getting pregnant at this rate?
There is a big leap from the "media" glamorizing sex and the girls making the decision to have babies. Because they're actively making this decision. They know how babies are made and what birth control is. Having sex is one thing, choosing to have a baby is an entirely different thing that takes a particular mindset.
I believe that it has more to do with these girls' investment in their own future. If they don't have dreams and goals, if they aren't working towards being something that's important to them that having a baby is going to ruin, then why not? They get attention, and they get the misguided hope that the baby will love them and make them feel important and valued.
These girls need to be taught that they are already an important part of their communities, without being mothers. They need to be shown that there is a life out there away from their surroundings of dead end jobs and fast food restaurants, and welfare. They need to have confidence in themselves so that they won't be doing this to hold onto the "love" of the baby daddy. They need to be shown that there are things to achieve and how to achieve them.
They need to be shown that they are too important to us, to throw themselves away like this.
Or the boyfriend at the moment will have to love them, pay attention to them and not leave them.
I am curious as to the # of these girls who come from teenage mothers themselves. Curious to know how many of them saw a revolving door of male role models.
What you said above is vitally important, but so many young women today do not hear it b/c they come from homes that do not know how to break the cycle.
I don't think they see it as throwing themselves away...IMO, they don't see it at all; they have no concept of the reality of a baby. For some, they'll probably be pregnant & their mom will be pregnant at the same time. They go walk around WalMart & pick up what WIC permits. Are they happy? Maybe some but more than likely, they have no idea what else it out there & come from homes that are not capable of showing them what more is out there for them. They have hopes & dreams, but no clear idea how to even get started. They may even be responsible for helping support the family.
Of course, probably a few in there who have the picture perfect family.
1. There is no stigma or consequence in society really to being a single parent anymore. So many people are doing it (or have done it) that both teenage girls and their families don't see it as a dysfunctional pattern. I grew in a socially conservative area years ago. Believe me, being a single unwed teenager in that situation would have been devastating for both the mother and her parents. What likely would have occurred is that a secret, closed adoption would have been arranged for the child and the mother's parents would have tried to keep the whole thing a secret from the community.
I don't know that was always necessarily the best thing. That system did unfairly hurt some decent people who had only made one mistake. What's more it was primarily driven by "shame" rather than "responsibility" which would have better. However, that is a prime example of how social mores have changed over the last forty years. I think, on the whole, that system functioned better than the current one that we have.
2. The government assistance available to unwed mothers is huge when you add all the benefits together. No one benefit seems outrageous. Let's look at all the benefits we have made available though: TANF (temporary assistance for needy families), food stamps, Medicaid, special housing subsidies and allowances, special schools for unwed mothers (so they don't feel a stigma about going to school while they are pregnant), WIC, subsidized daycare (in some instances), and free parenting classes.
All of these benefits in their aggregate represent a huge subsidy or safety net to pregnant teenage girls. In fact, no other poor group in the USA gets that kind of assistance. One of the most distressing things I've learned over the years is the way that these girls will share this information rapidly with one another. If you go to a teen mothers school or any place where a group of these mothers are present, you'll learn very quickly the way they all "spread the word" about the assistance programs that are available. I've talked to teachers and counselors who watch them as they gather and spread the word about every assistance program available and "how to take advantage of it". Its very clear when you talk to teen mothers that virtually none of them feel any financial pressure at all to relinquish a baby for adoption
It would be nice if there were some way to fix this mess we have created. However, we are now so far down the road that may be a literal impossibility. I think one starting point for society is to stop some of the "support" we unwittingly provide teen mothers. For example, I know of a situation where a teen mom brought photos of her child to class to show the other girls and her teacher stopped her. This girl got a clear message that at least some people disapproved of what she had done. More importantly, the other girls in the class who were present (and not pregnant) also got that message.
Perhaps, if teen mothers are going to attend special schools they should also be required in those schools to sit through classes that deal with both birth control and adoption. These should be mandatory parts of their curriculum.
We should also put more pressure on families. Families with pregnant teenage girls should be required to pay for at least a portion of the costs involved in delivering and raising the child. They shouldn't be able to dump 100% of those costs on the taxpayers. I think if we had a way to do this, more families would start giving these girls the message that unwed pregnancy is not acceptable. JMHO
markg91359, as far as the costs of delivering the child: there was a thread here a while back where the family of a pregnant teen was asking about paying for the cost of prenatal care and delivery of the baby. Apparently teenage pregnancies are often not covered by health insurance policies, a fact that I found shocking, and (if I'm remembering correctly) the family DID have to cover most or all of those costs, with the girl not automatically eligible for government assistance programs just because she was a teen and pregnant. Obviously that hasn't stopped teenage girls from getting pregnant.
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