Bullying in Newark, NJ elementary school... what to do?

[prhottie1]

Originally Posted by standupandbecounted

When someone needs to be confronted, go to the source, not the middleman. Call the parents of the kids and have a word.

I agree. Looks like that was in my sister's agenda before I mentioned the need to "do something." We'll see how that helps, since from what we've seen the problem might be that we might not get the expected resonse from the parents.

[prhottie1]

Originally Posted by malamute

Is there any physical assaults going on? If it's just teasing him about his head being big, I think your sister needs to get him some thicker skin.

We should all remember that as kids, teasing went on. How can you stop all teasing?

Yes, she's been working on that thicker skin development. We all need that from time to time. This is more because of it being an everyday thing and yes it's become physical.

I do think that even in situations of just teasing, which I wouldn't consider bullying by itself, we should teach our children to respect other's differences because words can be very powerful and hurtful. It's part of teaching kindness and respect, and these are values I teach my own child as part of our family values. Thankfully I was not raised in an environment where there was a lot of teasing, but if my child were to tease anyone and I find out, I would be the first one to set him straight. Think about this: just because something has gone on for long time, it doesn't mean it's right.

[omigawd]

Well, according to many posters on this forum, his mother should do nothing. Let him fend for himself. It will make him stronger. Kids are kids. So what if they're calling him names? He'll get over it and you can't stop people from talking. Oh, and the same kids threatened his mother? Big deal. She'll live. They didn't do anything to her.


Now, for my opinion. If these kids are harassing your nephew and have threatened his mother in front of a teacher, I wouldn't be "writing letters". I would be at the principals office personally delivering a letter with a "cc" to the Superintendant of Schools. The letter would outline every single instance, including the threats by the kids against the mom.

If nothing is done immediately, I would take it further. There is no reason a child should be forced to go to school and be harassed day in and day out.

[kwalk65]

Originally Posted by omigawd

Well, according to many posters on this forum, his mother should do nothing. Let him fend for himself. It will make him stronger. Kids are kids. So what if they're calling him names? He'll get over it and you can't stop people from talking. Oh, and the same kids threatened his mother? Big deal. She'll live. They didn't do anything to her.


Now, for my opinion. If these kids are harassing your nephew and have threatened his mother in front of a teacher, I wouldn't be "writing letters". I would be at the principals office personally delivering a letter with a "cc" to the Superintendant of Schools. The letter would outline every single instance, including the threats by the kids against the mom.

If nothing is done immediately, I would take it further. There is no reason a child should be forced to go to school and be harassed day in and day out.

I totally agree with this. I have been personally dealing with this bullying situation for a good part of my son's 4th grade year. It is exhausting. I learned early on that everyone, and I mean everyone, in the school system is there to watch out for themselves and not necessarily a child who is being bullied. I have documented EACH AND EVERY incident, have written letters, emails, confronted the principal, pulled in the superintendent. You would think eventually this bully who has been given in-school-suspension for a good majority of the year would be expelled -- BUT NO!!

Yesterday, my son comes home and tells me this same kid once again is disrupting music class with yelling out bad language, telling kids to "shut the F*** up when they ask him to be quiet because they can't hear the music teachers instructions. My son also tells him to be quiet and he says, " Yeah, you shut up too, I've beat you up once before and I'll do it again". The music teacher gives the kid a re-focus.

I've decided that since the principal doesn't have what it takes to deal with this kid I will be in her face EACH and EVERY time another incident occurs. If anything ever were to happen with this bully's threats the school will be sorry they did not do enough to protect my child.

To the OP you ARE your nephew's advocate and don't let anyone make you second-guess yourself. Kids need adults to stand up and protect them when they can't do it for themselves!