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I had a friend growing up whose ears stuck out. She never got picked on but it really bothered her. She loved sports but would never put her hair in a ponytail. When she was 10 she got them pinned back.
She was the first girl from my town to get a full athletic scholarship to college. She has a thriving law practice now, was an elected offical on the town level at the age of 25 and is now an elected government official in the state.
I won't say that the surgery did everything to help her confidence, but it helped.
It's been interesting reading the responses. I thought there would be more parents out there who would be against any surgery that is not necessary. When I say 'necessary', I mean not having it would be detrimental to a child's health. Having your ears pinned back, nose jobs DO help people's self esteem, I won't dismiss that. But it's not a life or death surgery.
Isn't it sad that kids have to do this to AVOID being bullied? Rather than celebrating their uniqueness, kids are being taught they must not look different in order to be accepted and fit in. If you watch the entire video, you will see the mother towards the end, comment that most of the negative remarks her daughter had heard had come from ADULTS. It's no wonder so many kids will pick on those that are different when they hear their parents do it, they assume it's ok.
And no, I am not judging the mother. She did what she felt was right for her daughter. My son had surgery right before his second birthday to correct his hypospadia. The pediatrician suggested doing it as early as possible to avoid pain and more complications down the line. If he had not NEEDED this surgery, I would not elect to let him go under the knife.
Apologies in advance if this is in the wrong forum. I thought this was the most appropriate place to put it, but feel free to move it if it's not.
I just saw this video of a 7yo girl who had her ears pinned back to avoid being bullied.
Child Gets Plastic Surgery to Avoid Bullies (http://news.yahoo.com/video/health-15749655/child-gets-plastic-surgery-to-avoid-bullies-24902719 - broken link)
I understand where the mother is coming from, trying to protect her daughter, but isn't 7 a little TOO young for any kind of 'elective' surgery. Honestly, if her ears hadn't been pointed out, I would not even have noticed them. She is a really cute girl and eventually, her face/head will grow into her ears. Additionally, lots of girls get away with ears that stick out a bit because they are able to cover it with their hair.
Thoughts?
im commenting before reading other posts so sorry if I repeat anything
I remember seeing a story exactly like this when I was about 12 and all I could think was why didnt my mom do that?? I have ears that point out and I am very VERY sensitive of them. I never wear my hair up unless I have a head band to hold my ears down and I flip my hair about every five minutes to make sure my ears arent poking through. So I can see where the mother is coming from. I was bullied in school horribly. Called Dumbo among other things. If my children came out with my ears though I wouldnt give them surgery. Thats a bit much.
My son was born with ears that stuck out. My husband and I discussed that maybe at some point we would have them pinned back but we just wanted to see what happens. My son did grow into them though but no kids teased him, the damn family did! My BIL called him dumbo a few times and asked if he could fly with them. My son was about 4 at the time and just laughed because he didn't think anything was wrong with his ears (thank goodness). By the time he started kindergarten his ears were fine. But when my son turned 9, a small freckle on his lip started to get larger. It eventually turned into a very large mole. We had it checked out and it was non cancerous but it was suggested by our family doctor that we might want to have it removed. 1.) so it didnt turn into anything more serious 2.) my son was starting to get teased by kids at school "you have poop on your lip", etc. 3.) his skin would heal better and faster due to his age and 4.) He would have to get it removed eventually as he would not be able to shave.
It was a scary process for me as a parent because I am not fond of surgery in itself. Also the mole was just above the lip line and this is a delicate surgery in terms of the out come. Lips scar very easily and tend to curl with scar tissue. We could make things worse for him. We had a plastic surgeon do it and my son wanted the surgery badly. The surgery ended up being more than what we expected. The root of the mole was deeper and instead of just a stitch, he had several and he was in a lot of pain afterwards. Also add to the madness, my son had a loose tooth that was knocked out when he was put under. When he woke up, he told the nurses, "Hmm...I missing a tooth." Everyone freaked. They thought he had inhaled the tooth and it was lodged in his lung. So after a series of xrays they saw the tooth in his stomach. I did some poop diving the next couple of days making sure it passed. It was not an easy process and in those moments when they couldn't find his missing tooth I thought I had made a very bad decision.
His lip looks good, just a faint line of a scar and he feels better. I am glad we had it done. He is now a teen and it would have been a horrible thing for him to be walking around with a large dark mole on his lip. Kids are cruel. So my thoughts are kind of divided. I see how its a good thing but surgery is still dangerous, anything can happen.
The little girl was a cutie and didn't need her self image ruined. I think the mom is the one who needs the surgery if she is so concerned that she can't love her daughter and instill a good self image.
As others have said, the only sad part in this that I find is that is how our society is today.
1) Society has alway been cruel to people that are a little different.
2) That girl didn't have a big problem. Her mother did. She made a big deal of it.
3) Being bullied (to some degree) is not the end of world. It somehow prepares the child for real life. For example, today we don't allow kids to fail at school. Later, when they get out into the real world, they are shocked by reality.
falling water, the story about the added drama to an already dramatic surgery (where is the missing tooth?) reminded me of our added drama when we had our son's ears fixed when he was about 7. His head was wrapped up really big with all sorts of bandages and he started complaining about how itchy it was under there. I figured it was just the itch which comes with healing but lo and behold he had measles. Poor little guy was miserable and I felt like the worse Mom in the world. It was Christmas break and both kids had measles at the same time.
He's 29 now and recently saw before pictures and thanked us for doing it and for doing it while he was really young.
It's a hard decision to make but I'm glad we did. You sure don't want to go thru anything like that as an adult.
Apologies in advance if this is in the wrong forum. I thought this was the most appropriate place to put it, but feel free to move it if it's not.
I just saw this video of a 7yo girl who had her ears pinned back to avoid being bullied.
Child Gets Plastic Surgery to Avoid Bullies (http://news.yahoo.com/video/health-15749655/child-gets-plastic-surgery-to-avoid-bullies-24902719 - broken link)
I understand where the mother is coming from, trying to protect her daughter, but isn't 7 a little TOO young for any kind of 'elective' surgery. Honestly, if her ears hadn't been pointed out, I would not even have noticed them. She is a really cute girl and eventually, her face/head will grow into her ears. Additionally, lots of girls get away with ears that stick out a bit because they are able to cover it with their hair.
Thoughts?
I watched the video and if she was my daughter and wanted her ears pinned back, I'd schedule her for the surgery, too. My daughter had her ears done when she was 13. She didn't have big ears, just bat ears that stuck out and in every single picture taken of her she had the top tips of her ears peaking out through her hair. For years she avoided pony tails and short hairdos which exposed her ears and never wore her hair pulled back in a headband or other ear exposing hairdo. Unlike other kids, she was never teased or made fun of.
She wanted to have her ears done when she decided she wanted a pixie haircut (very ear exposing style). She's very happy with her ears now , has worn a pixie do, pony tails and other updo hair styles, and pulls her hair back exposing her ears. Her ear surgery was considered elective cosmetic surgery and she and I have absolutely no regrets.
Being that her ears were sticking out unevenly, I think this qualifies or comes close to a birth defect, and I don't blame the parents for doing it. I see this as entirely different than a teen getting a boob job.
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I have ears that point out and I am very VERY sensitive of them. I never wear my hair up unless I have a head band to hold my ears down and I flip my hair about every five minutes to make sure my ears arent poking through. So I can see where the mother is coming from. I was bullied in school horribly. Called Dumbo among other things. If my children came out with my ears though I wouldnt give them surgery. Thats a bit much.
. Poor little guy was miserable and I felt like the worse Mom in the world. It was Christmas break and both kids had measles at the same time.
