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well I definitely see my attitude is because of several factors
1) military family which moved every 2 years until high school which is only place I ever lived long enough to make friends
2) absolutely no link to family. Had to be introduced to my cousins at grandparents funerals
3) father was definitely a snob. Made fun of any adult who wore their high school ring (not to their face of course)
4) living in college town made high school not very significant.
I'm happy to say my 2 adult children are still very much in touch with their high school buddies, my daughter much more than my son. And most of my FB friends are old high school friends.
Thanks all who posted. I learned a lot on this thread...mostly how much I missed of typical American life during my childhood.
Well...the kids may go to several parties in one afternoon/evening here too but presumably, you'd still know the honoree....
Well, I think the comment was from a parent who didn't know the people who were showing up---other classmates the parent had never met and who weren't close friends of the honoree. They generally come with someone who is a good friend of the honoree.
But sometimes there are people the honoree doesn't know because they start forming groups after they run into each other at parties and continue onto parties with other kids. All of the kids in the group do not know everyone.
Envision it like this. Say 10 kids start traveling around together. Each kid knows parties of two friends. The 10 teens go to 20 parties over a weekend but only one or two of the 10 know the honoree of each party they attend.
When multiple groups are traveling around together like this, it's possible to get many guests the parents don't know, some the honoree knows slightly or has met once in the past, and some nobody knows except some of the guests who brought them, especially when they visit at party at other school district.
Ok, I admit it. I'm an education snob. It was drilled into me by my parents how important college was and it was assumed I would definitely go to college.
My dad sold bibles door to door during the depression to put himself thru LSU. He really struggled.My mother took a one year college business course and had to return home to care for ailing mother. But it was always the story about how sad she didn't get to finish college.
Both my husband and I have Masters,I have MBA, daughter did one year graduate work and son is going to get Phd in July. Every body in my family for 2 generations went to college and most have graduate degrees.
Now I don't think everybody should go to college. It can be a colossal waste of time for some but it seems to me high school should be the bare minimum for education these days.
A relative graduated from high school last night and is going on to do very well in college. But you would think he had landed on the moon with all the hoopla around his high school graduation. Lots of parties, receptions, gifts and "We are so proud". Of course he should be proud and he should be congratulated but I'm just not seeing why high school graduation is such a big deal today.
I guess I sound like a snob and a jerk and I'm sure somebody will call me out on this but really---is it that much of an accomplishment anymore? Wouldn't you expect at least this initial education from your kids?
I think it is a big deal. Just because it's an expectation doesn't mean it shouldn't be a joyous occasion as well.
It's the culmination of a 13 year journey that started out when the now adult was just a few years out of toddlerhood. They've grown, matured and learned quite a bit in those years. Heck ya it's a big deal.
I get what no kudzu is saying, and yes I agree in part that graduating high school is expected, a minimum if you will. I think it may depend on the family, and the journey for that particular student too. I have no problem acknowledging the achievement, and celebrating it, but graduation parties around here are like weddings, and I sometimes think the money would be better spent on further education, and rather tone the celebrations down a bit.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles
Same for weddings. What are you going to do with that $20K?
You could buy a car.
You could put a down payment on a house.
You could jump start your retirement savings.
You could invest and put two kids through college 18 years later.
.
.
.
Or, You could have a four hour party.
With this mindset no one should have a party for anything because that money could always go towards something more important.
It's life. Enjoy it. Can't take the $$$$ with you!
well I definitely see my attitude is because of several factors
1) military family which moved every 2 years until high school which is only place I ever lived long enough to make friends
2) absolutely no link to family. Had to be introduced to my cousins at grandparents funerals
3) father was definitely a snob. Made fun of any adult who wore their high school ring (not to their face of course)
4) living in college town made high school not very significant.
I'm happy to say my 2 adult children are still very much in touch with their high school buddies, my daughter much more than my son. And most of my FB friends are old high school friends.
Thanks all who posted. I learned a lot on this thread...mostly how much I missed of typical American life during my childhood.
Some interesting points there. I can relate to some of it but my outcomes were different. We moved a lot and honestly, I could not tell you the name of a single person I graduated high school with. Not one. For me, it was hugely important my kids not live like that and DID get to experience the kind of life where they felt the confidence that comes with that continuity and familiarity. I loved having a graduation party for DD and getting to experience what I hadn't - even if it was in a different context for me.
We went to a graduation party last weekend for a family friend. DD happened to be in town and delayed leaving so that she could attend for just a bit. Several family friends were going to be there whom she hadn't seen for years. She wanted the opportunity to see them and introduce her BF to them. I thought it was neat that those friends, who were really more our friends and DS's friends (they had no daughters or kids her age) were important to her. A teacher that she knew and had been close to in HS happened to be there at the same time. It was nice. We have another one next weekend which I'm guessing will be similar.
I agree. (although we tend to be low-key in general). I think a backyard BBQ with friends and family is PLENTY. As far as gifts- a nice book marking the milestone or a giftcard is enough. I expect my kids to continue with college/university/military beyond high school and we will continue to support them throughout. I think that means more than a BIG huge celebration with personalized invites, banquet halls, new cars etc...
Do you believe that parents/grandparents/aunts&uncles who give their loved ones a party in a banquet hall don't find further achievement important?
well I definitely see my attitude is because of several factors
1) military family which moved every 2 years until high school which is only place I ever lived long enough to make friends
2) absolutely no link to family. Had to be introduced to my cousins at grandparents funerals
3) father was definitely a snob. Made fun of any adult who wore their high school ring (not to their face of course)
4) living in college town made high school not very significant.
I'm happy to say my 2 adult children are still very much in touch with their high school buddies, my daughter much more than my son. And most of my FB friends are old high school friends.
Thanks all who posted. I learned a lot on this thread...mostly how much I missed of typical American life during my childhood.
Well, I think the comment was from a parent who didn't know the people who were showing up---other classmates the parent had never met and who weren't close friends of the honoree. They generally come with someone who is a good friend of the honoree.
But sometimes there are people the honoree doesn't know because they start forming groups after they run into each other at parties and continue onto parties with other kids. All of the kids in the group do not know everyone.
Envision it like this. Say 10 kids start traveling around together. Each kid knows parties of two friends. The 10 teens go to 20 parties over a weekend but only one or two of the 10 know the honoree of each party they attend.
When multiple groups are traveling around together like this, it's possible to get many guests the parents don't know, some the honoree knows slightly or has met once in the past, and some nobody knows except some of the guests who brought them, especially when they visit at party at other school district.
No...I haven't seen anything like that. Typically here, there might be small groups of 3-5 that go to several graduation parties in the same day (so that they are fair to all their friends)...they all know each other though, and as a parent I knew everyone, at least by name, who dropped by our house. You might have a couple of kids from a neighboring high school but not too often - usually that might fall under the "family friend" situation. Same with from another district altogether. Now, I have heard of families getting together and having a larger party at a park or something for several graduates. Usually, that is families of a group of kids where the kids and families have been close for awhile and it is a shared expense and avoids scheduling difficulties....
When we did DD's party, we had family in from out of state and they enjoyed getting to meet all the assorted friends who they'd heard about for years.
Last edited by maciesmom; 05-28-2011 at 10:45 AM..
well I definitely see my attitude is because of several factors
1) military family which moved every 2 years until high school which is only place I ever lived long enough to make friends
2) absolutely no link to family. Had to be introduced to my cousins at grandparents funerals
3) father was definitely a snob. Made fun of any adult who wore their high school ring (not to their face of course)
4) living in college town made high school not very significant.
I'm happy to say my 2 adult children are still very much in touch with their high school buddies, my daughter much more than my son. And most of my FB friends are old high school friends.
Thanks all who posted. I learned a lot on this thread...mostly how much I missed of typical American life during my childhood.
I'm sorry. I can definitely see why you feel as you do, but it is a big deal for some people... and some people just love a reason to throw a party.
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