Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm not comfortable using the CIO method with my babies. It goes against every instinct in my body.
Mine too ...and I'm not the most maternal person in the world, either.
Ferber's method, no matter how you spin it, is simply cruel.
I agree with the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child suggestion. Very good book.
Elizabeth Pantley's No-Cry Sleep solution is good as well. Hers does specifically address toddlers as well as babies.
When my kids were babies, I read somewhere that CIO "teaches a baby that when they cry, no one will come."
That sounded incredibly sad to me
(and we are parents who were not afraid to spank -- not beat, spank -- when necessary, so I'm not some fluffy no-discipline wuss!)
My husband and I are (finally!) getting really close to making a decision on whether or not to have kids and have been talking a lot to our friends who have kids about their experience.
There seems to be different 'must dos' from everyone so I guess we will just have to find our own way on most things.
One issue that I am torn on is the letting your young child cry it out. I know this doesn't apply to very young infants (up to 6 months???). But still to young babies.
We have friends who run for every whimper and we have friends who put the baby down at her designated nap times and if she cries they let her cry it out. That's not to say they're negligent AT ALL - they have the baby monitor on but apparently they can now tell the difference in the type of crying (?) and they don't go in for regular crying.
The second set of parents seems far more relaxed than the first set although I would say that both seem to be good, attentive and caring parents.
Interestingly the first set of parents became so exhausted by the time their child reached 2.5 yrs old that they changed methods and started letting him cry out. Apparently they had a nightmare week and then things improved dramatically.
The second set of parent's daughter just turned 1 and I think they have been letting her cry it out for a while. She seems like a happy little girl.
So which is right? I imagine lots of contact with parents with a small baby is good, but the crying out seems to work? It's all very confusing!!
My only experience with anything like this is with our small dog (yeah I know it's not the same! ). When we got her we had 3 miserable nights of crying and I would wait until she stopped making noise and THEN go and see/ praise her.
She now only makes noise if she is in distress of some sort - pain/ lost ball, etc. She doesn't bark at all. So I guess our natural inclination would lean towards the crying out method, but then I feel like maybe it's heartless and babies should always be comforted and cuddled.
Any comments? What was your method?
There is a world in between where many of us reside.
Mine too ...and I'm not the most maternal person in the world, either.
Ferber's method, no matter how you spin it, is simply cruel.
I agree with the Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child suggestion. Very good book.
Elizabeth Pantley's No-Cry Sleep solution is good as well. Hers does specifically address toddlers as well as babies.
When my kids were babies, I read somewhere that CIO "teaches a baby that when they cry, no one will come."
That sounded incredibly sad to me
(and we are parents who were not afraid to spank -- not beat, spank -- when necessary, so I'm not some fluffy no-discipline wuss!)
See, I would let my kids cry it out but would never, EVER spank my kids. Never once did I do as much as a hand swat.
What you see as cruel, I see as teaching independence and self soothing. What you see as discipline, I see as bullying and lacking patience. See how that works?
To the OP, every child is different and you will learn which works and which doesn't. I let my kids cry it out for a bit, we are talking cries, not whails, as you said, you will learn the different cries your child has.
And OP - don't worry about this now. You'll have months and months...and months after the baby comes before you will be up to the sleeping at night stage.
The OP stated "Any comments? What was your method?"
I stated my answer.
Why am I on trial?
What a nice board.
You are not on trial. You said "no matter how you spin it, it is cruel", not everyone sees it that way. Surely you have heard of differences of opinions?
I choose not to CIO with my kids. I'm not saying that it doesn't work, but it's not the way that I want to treat my loved ones, particularly my children.
My SIL started using CIO with her baby at a very young age and it didn't seem to work for her, but she was opposed to trying anything different. So even a year later, her kid would still cry for over an hour at bedtime until she exhausted herself. I can't even imagine doing that to my kids.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
). When we got her we had 3 miserable nights of crying and I would wait until she stopped making noise and THEN go and see/ praise her. 
