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Me and my fiance cannot agree on our baby's name. I am 32 weeks pregnant right now, and the "name" thing has been a point of contention for the last couple of months since I found out I was having a boy. In the beginning of the pregnancy we had a rule that if it was a girl I name the girl, and if it was a boy he names the boy. I REALLY thought I was having a girl, but nope it's a boy. The problem is that the name he wants to name my son is his name, and his dad's name, and his grandfathers name. His grandfather passed away three years ago and he was very close to his grandfather. But the name Clarence Lee is such an ugly name to me. EVERYONE that I've talked to cringes when I say that is going to be the baby's name. And my dad even told me tonight to NOT name the baby Clarence. I just got done talking to my fiance, and we got into a huge argument and are angry with each other.
He told me he is NOT budging on the name. At all. He's made a lot of sacrifices through this pregnancy which I'm willing to admit, so he says he's not making another one especially since we had both agreed that he would get to name the baby. But I just can't stand that name. I feel like it isn't fair that he gets to decide the name, knowing I don't like it. And it's gotten to the point now where he is getting offended that I don't like his grandfathers name, and where we just argue when this topic comes up. I don't really know what to do. I feel a lot of pressure from other people to not name the baby this name, because everyone says it's ugly. And I feel pressure from him to name the baby this name even though he knows I dislike it. I'm really embarrassed that this may be the baby's name. I'm also angry with him for not coming to a compromise.
Wow! That's very harsh saying his name, and his dad's name, and his grandfather's name is "ugly". I honestly don't blame him for being upset. What compromise are you and he willing to make? You originally agreed to let him choose the boy name, so you knew what name he would choose? Could you give him that name, and then use Lee? Could you give him a different first name and make Clarence Lee 2nd and 3rd names?
Wow! That's very harsh saying his name, and his dad's name, and his grandfather's name is "ugly". I honestly don't blame him for being upset. What compromise are you and he willing to make? You originally agreed to let him choose the boy name, so you knew what name he would choose? Could you give him that name, and then use Lee? Could you give him a different first name and make Clarence Lee 2nd and 3rd names?
He isn't willing to make a compromise at all. He said that I could give the baby a nickname and call him that nickname, but that's it. I sort of knew that he might name the baby this name--but also figured that it was a girl. I also didn't think that many people would think the name is ugly. I'm just embarrassed. We already call my fiance Lee... So at this point not sure what to call the baby, beyond a nickname. I don't know what to do, because my mom and dad both told me not to name the baby this name. They don't think he'll be able to get jobs, or anything because it sounds country. And they said they feel sorry for the baby for being named that name. I mean I don't know. The name is bad to me, but not that bad. But everyone just cringes when I mention that name.
I think your first mistake was agreeing to let him name the baby if it was a boy, especially since you knew he might pick that name. Now that you've made that agreement, he's determined to hold you to it. I'm not sure what you can do that would make both of you happy, especially since he's not willing to use Clarence or Lee as a middle name. You could go against his wishes and name the baby whatever you want, but that would cause a lot of resentment. Or you can just stick to your word, name the baby what he wants, and find a nice nickname for him. Clarence Lee is sort of a old fashioned Southern name, but I highly doubt if it would keep him from getting a job. If anything it might help. Sounds like a mature, responsible man!
It's actually my grandfather's name, and I like it. I don't think it's country at all, I think it is more sophisticated. I think a lot of the more traditional names are becoming more popular too.
What does your fiance imagine you would actually call your son? I'm just curious as Clarence will undoubtedly be shortened.
One word of advice, keep your parents out of this discussion, it will only make things much worse, and it really doesn't have anything to do with them. I would even go as far as saying you should only let them know once you and your fiance have settled on a name, and ask them to accept it without judgement.
Asking your fiance to forego a family name that has been used for generations is HUGE. I am not a traditionalist by nature, but even I get that this is a tough situation that is going to be hard to resolve. If I am to be completely honest, I think in this situation the compromise should come from you.
my husband and I each made a list of our favorite names and then we exchanged lists. We then crossed off names on the other person's list that we could not tolerate. We were left with several names that we were open to. We then discussed those names until we found the name we both were happy with. Good luck.
First mistake was agreeing that you name a girl, and he names a boy. I've always thought that was a bad idea. Same with one picking the first name and the other picking the middle name. The name should be something that you both agree on.
You really thought you were having a girl? that was your second mistake.
Let him pick the name, if it means that much to him, but call him by a nickname. Or, see if he'll agree to a mutually agreeable first name with 2 middle names (i.e. James Clarence Lee Smith).
my husband and I each made a list of our favorite names and then we exchanged lists. We then crossed off names on the other person's list that we could not tolerate. We were left with several names that we were open to. We then discussed those names until we found the name we both were happy with. Good luck.
we did too. I don't think either of us ended up with our first choice, but something we could both live with.
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They don't think he'll be able to get jobs, or anything because it sounds country. And they said they feel sorry for the baby for being named that name. I mean I don't know. The name is bad to me, but not that bad. But everyone just cringes when I mention that name.
