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Give the woman a break, will ya? She is hormonal, stressed, unmarried, and feeling pressure from her family. I am guessing she is rather young. And probably scared and nervous, too, if this is her 1st baby. Let's not extrapolate this to the nth degree.
I was merely responding to your argument, which was that she could do things his way and then get burned if he doesn't follow through and marry her. It's merely common sense that the same could happen in reverse--that if she chooses to burn him by pulling the "ha ha, the woman has 100% say in this as far as the hospital is concerned so I'm going to do what I want and pooh on you" card, it could bite her in the butt too.
It's merely common sense that the same could happen in reverse--that if she chooses to burn him by pulling the "ha ha, the woman has 100% say in this as far as the hospital is concerned so I'm going to do what I want and pooh on you" card, it could bite her in the butt too.
OK, not trying to start an argument. I think I referenced that very same thing in my first post in this thread.
I will say, though, that lots of posters here are being very rational and logical... which is good of course....but I think the OP is just hugely into the emotion of it all right now. And I can totally empathize with that.
Name your child what you want to name him if you dont want him to be Clarence Lee then don't, make Clarence or Lee the middle name. It doesn't make sense to name him after his father if you insist on calling him Trey or CJ....
I will say, though, that lots of posters here are being very rational and logical... which is good of course....but I think the OP is just hugely into the emotion of it all right now. And I can totally empathize with that.
I completely agree. My son is named Jacob (+1 on the originality scale for me! ) I remember one of my best friends who lives in another state wrote on Facebook: "OMG. You're naming him Jacob?! Are you serious?!" I have no idea why she even said that. I loved the name and had no intention of changing it, but I remember being shaken and it got to my seven-months pregnant self. My DH quickly talked to her and I got an "OMG. I'm so sorry!" message back. And like I said, I loved the name. So I can imagine a little how the OP felt when everyone came back with negative things to say about Clarence when she was feeling OK about it. It does make you doubt yourself when you're all hormonal.
knowing me I'm sure I would have tried my best to compromise. Usually he compromises as well, but for some reason with this name he is not willing to. It's bizarre really.
I think this shows how important this is to him. If you can think of the name as a gift to your husband, does that help? This baby was made because you two love each other, right? He'll be a living manifestation of the love you hold for each other.
I don't think it's helpful at all to think of what your fiance "should" do, or how he should think about this. What can you control? Can you be generous and giving to him in this way?
I'll try to address everyone's input in this post(since there have been many pages since I was last on).
First we have been engaged since BEFORE the pregnancy took place. The wedding is taken place in April. The pregnancy definitely was an "oopsie" but being that we were already engaged, have been together for 7 years, and wanted kids anyway, we took the oopsie as it came.
Second, I know it was very naive to assume I was having a girl. I was just so sure. I had dreams about having a baby girl. My symptoms seemed to follow the old wives tales(LOL) about those that have girls. And I REALLY wanted a girl, so I guess that is why I said that if it was a girl I name it and if it was boy he names it . I admit that it was done to benefit me, and in the end obviously that backfired. I just didn't want a boy I know that sounds bad) and didn't think I would ever have a boy.
Third, when I found out it was a boy at first he seemed like he was open to naming him anything. So I didn't really think we would be naming the baby Clarence Lee. It wasn't until about a month and half ago where he told me that was the name he wanted to name the baby. I didn't care for it too much, but at the same time it wasn't the biggest deal, because he told me I could chose the baby's nickname. But when I told my mom what I wanted to name him, she just cringed. And from there I've just gotten a lot of unsolicited advice from people about the name--and it seems like no one really likes it. It made me feel bad, because of course I'd like for people to like the name.
That is probably a big reason as to why all the sudden I've sort of backed out of our deal. I just feel like if this is the reaction his name is getting from family and friends, then what sort of reaction will he get from peers? My dad told me that my son will be made fun of, and that he won't get a job with that name. And please to not name the baby that name(this was last night). I guess it's just getting to me. There is a lot of history behind his grandfathers name--his grandfather was a very powerful man and has a street named after him, as well as a church. So the name has somewhat of legacy as well. I don't know if explaining that to people will help.
It does bother me that my fiance isn't willing to compromise on the name(even though it was an agreement we both were okay with in the beginning). I was caught off guard when he responded the way he did, because he usually always compromises with me, this is probably the FIRST time in a while where he hasn't been willing to compromise.
I also wouldn't go as far as to go behind his back and name the child something else. I'm hoping by then we will have worked something out.
But it seems like the general consensus is that I should give in or at least try to understand where he is coming from?
Some people, however, would prefer to start their own traditions.
not this dad
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT
That would be all good and fine if both parents felt that way, but they don't.
Does her desire for a cute name trump his desire to honor a decades old tradition if they can't come to some other agreement?
Quote:
Originally Posted by carolinacool
Yes. Although you can get in a bind when married. What if one of his sentimental, family traditions is that everyone goes to his parents' house for the Christmas every single year. Is she expected to go along with it?
Not quite the same, but I know a couple of women who have to pack up their kids, gifts, etc. every year to go off to their in-laws house because it's "tradition." And they don't like it one bit.
Not the same thing. Obviously holidays have to be shared or split, and there is always another one coming up. This dad has 1 chance to name his first born son according to family tradition, and she gave him that chance when she agreed that he got to name a boy. If it was as simple as not agreeing an a name, then absolutely, they'd need to pick one they both like. But dad has a very good reason to want this name. She doesn't really have a good reason to not want it.
OK, I have caught up. Let me get this straight. Ya'll had a deal, that if it was a girl-you named her, and if it was a boy-he named him. But, you thought it would be a girl.
It's a boy, he named him after him, his dad, and granddad. You were OK with it until your mom and dad didn't like it.
You are choosing your Mom and Dad's idea instead of your husband, that you promised could name the child anything he wanted, but that name is his', his father's, and grandfather's name?
So, you are a liar, don't care for his', his father's, and grandfather's name, and care more about what your mom and dad think than he does. Now why would he be upset?
But it seems like the general consensus is that I should give in or at least try to understand where he is coming from?
It sounds like this is a really big deal to your fiance. It sounds like you were iffy about the name (prior to all of the unsolicited advice) but willing to compromise and let your fiance have his pick. Your family and friends gave you a lot of unsolicited advice and a lot of horrible name alternatives (Leland and Stokely? ughhh) If I was in your shoes I would let my fiance choose the name and tell everyone else to back off.
People are going to have their opinions about anything and everything. You have to decide what is best for your family (you, your finance and child) and not let other people sway you.
Best wishes.
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which is good of course....but I think the OP is just hugely into the emotion of it all right now. And I can totally empathize with that. 
) I remember one of my best friends who lives in another state wrote on Facebook: "OMG. You're naming him Jacob?! Are you serious?!" I have no idea why she even said that. I loved the name and had no intention of changing it, but I remember being shaken and it got to my seven-months pregnant self. My DH quickly talked to her and I got an "OMG. I'm so sorry!" message back. And like I said, I loved the name. So I can imagine a little how the OP felt when everyone came back with negative things to say about Clarence when she was feeling OK about it. It does make you doubt yourself when you're all hormonal.
