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My son is 11 years ago and in middle school. He started this week. I'm a teacher, but in a different county, and I start next week, so I've had this week to be home with him in the morning. Helping him get ready, and either walking with him or driving him to the bus stop. Not next week.
My son has 2 options to get to middle school- take the bus or have us take him to before school. Here's my views on those:
1- Taking the bus: His father and I will be out of the house by 7:30 the latest. My son does not have to leave to walk to the bus stop until 8:45, so he would be waking up when we leave. That means he is dependent upon himself for showering, dressing, getting breakfast, remembering to take his medication, making sure he grabs everything before he leaves, locking up, and then walking about 12-15 minutes to the bus stop. He is pretty responsible, so this isn't a huge huge concern for his (a little, but not huge). However, we live in FL. There is no shelter where he would stand at the bus stop. The past week we've had storms 3 out of the 5 mornings, and 1 was a lightning storm. We're the lightning capital of the world. So my main concern is him walking to the bus stop and waiting for the bus, in inclement weather. But then I think....haven't kids done this throughout the years and am I just being overprotective?
2- Before school care: If we say forget the bus, his father would take him to the before school care. He'd be there between 7:15-7:45 depending upon the day. His middle school doesn't start until 9:45, so he'd be sitting in before school for a really long time- up to two hours. He's a great reader- but he's NOT a reader, if you know what I mean (super smart but doesn't like to pick up a book), so passing the time reading will not work for him. He's also mild ADHD (on medication)- yes a responsible one as I mentioned above, but he has gotten in trouble in the past in elementary, and 2 boring, long hours is quite some time to get in trouble.
So I'm asking, what would you do. We trust him for the most part at home getting ready, but are concerned with the weather conditions involving the walking and waiting for the bus. But we're also concerned with him getting up much earlier than need be and hanging around at school for 2 hours before it starts...and having that not go well. What would you do?
I think I would go with the second option, because he already has attention problems, and ADHD kids are not the most motivated, organized kids on the block. I think that you will go crazy with the first option, especially as he is just starting middle school, it would be different if this was high school. He will find kids to hang with during before school care, have a snack, I think it would just be easier on everyone. Most kids don't just spend that time reading, they hang out and play with other kids in the program.
Unless getting struck by lightning is a hugely common thing where you live or you live in a dangerous neighborhood, I'd have him walk to the bus stop and wait. I would have extra medication stored at school for him so that if he forgets, he can run to the nurse and take it and I would lay everything out on the counter where it's obvious before you leave.
I don't think before-school care is a terrible option, but the school day can seem long to begin with for some ADHD kids and I see no reason for him to lose an hour sleep every night just to sit around at school for an extra two hours every morning. If he was a quiet bookworm who would just curl up in a chair and do the same thing either place, no biggie, but in your son's situation it might make the school day much too long.
Can you offer to pay a friend to let your son stay at their house until the bus comes? We lived in FL, and the weather can be an issue. Our kids' bus stop had no shelter, so parents used to sit there and wait with the kids in the car until the bus came (when it was storming).
I would try to do that, or a regulated before school program. Your choices don't seem to indicate that there is an actual program though, and I wouldn't want to leave my kid to his own devices for 2 hours every day. Where we live now, the students are not allowed to enter the building until 30 minutes before the bell.
Given the choice of the two, with no options, I would vote to let your son make his way to the bus on his own. Not ideal, but better than 2 hours unsupervised at school, IMO.
My son is 11 years ago and in middle school. He started this week. I'm a teacher, but in a different county, and I start next week, so I've had this week to be home with him in the morning. Helping him get ready, and either walking with him or driving him to the bus stop. Not next week.
My son has 2 options to get to middle school- take the bus or have us take him to before school. Here's my views on those:
1- Taking the bus: His father and I will be out of the house by 7:30 the latest. My son does not have to leave to walk to the bus stop until 8:45, so he would be waking up when we leave. That means he is dependent upon himself for showering, dressing, getting breakfast, remembering to take his medication, making sure he grabs everything before he leaves, locking up, and then walking about 12-15 minutes to the bus stop. He is pretty responsible, so this isn't a huge huge concern for his (a little, but not huge). However, we live in FL. There is no shelter where he would stand at the bus stop. The past week we've had storms 3 out of the 5 mornings, and 1 was a lightning storm. We're the lightning capital of the world. So my main concern is him walking to the bus stop and waiting for the bus, in inclement weather. But then I think....haven't kids done this throughout the years and am I just being overprotective?
2- Before school care: If we say forget the bus, his father would take him to the before school care. He'd be there between 7:15-7:45 depending upon the day. His middle school doesn't start until 9:45, so he'd be sitting in before school for a really long time- up to two hours. He's a great reader- but he's NOT a reader, if you know what I mean (super smart but doesn't like to pick up a book), so passing the time reading will not work for him. He's also mild ADHD (on medication)- yes a responsible one as I mentioned above, but he has gotten in trouble in the past in elementary, and 2 boring, long hours is quite some time to get in trouble.
So I'm asking, what would you do. We trust him for the most part at home getting ready, but are concerned with the weather conditions involving the walking and waiting for the bus. But we're also concerned with him getting up much earlier than need be and hanging around at school for 2 hours before it starts...and having that not go well. What would you do?
I'd absolutely go with before school care. There's no guarantee my ADHDer wouldn't get caught up in something and miss the bus. Shoot, her non-ADHD sisters did that from time to time in middle school.
Yes, it may start out boring, but A LOT of middle schoolers with a late start time (our county starts around 9:30) are at "morning rec". Chances are some of his friends will be.
The only issue I can think of is make sure his meds will last that long. He may need to have them fine tuned to last through 'til school ends around 4:15.
What about the people who live in homes between your house and the bus stop? Do you know your neighbors? Do any of them have kids the same age or who at least attend the same school? Perhaps if there is a neighbor on the way, you could meet with the parent.
Ask them if they would allow your son to knock on the door if a storm is coming while he's at the bus stop or on his way to it, and seek shelter either inside their home along with their own kid who would be doing the same thing. They can watch for the bus together.
No guarantee that the kids would get along, but it might be worth at least looking into the idea.
Thank you for all of your responses. I'll try to answer everything.
There are no kids on the block, and we don't know anyone. Even though we've lived here for 3 years, he's always gone to my elementary school in a different county. I put him in a middle school where we live with the hope he'd make friends. So there is no one I can take him to.
I didn't want to wake him up early to give him meds, because I'd worry about it lasting all day.
He doesn't have the typical forgettable ADHD. It's something the DR said about over-stimuli, so it's really in settings with a lot of activity going on. Which is why at home, he'd be fine. He is responsible. I'd only be worrying about the weather issue at home.
I would have him take the bus--first, rainy season is almost over and if it DOES rain, adjust the schedules--is there an option for drop in before school care? Is there really before school care in the middle school anyway????
Is there somewhere near the school he could stay, library or something if you don't go to full time before school care.
Give it a week or two and he will meet some friends. Is he the ONLY one at the bus stop? Maybe after a week or two one of you can go to the bus stop, meet some parents of kids he likes and then ask that in the event of bad weather, could your son sit in their car or whatever.
I'd opt for the bus, with a check in phone call around 8am to make sure he's up and on schedule. Riding the bus might be a way for him to discover kids living in the area nearby. If he shows that he can't handle it, can you put him in the before care program at that time?
Any chance the before school care is something you could do on an as needed basis, say taking him in on days you know are predicted to have bad weather?
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