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No, it is showing the child that throwing a tantrum will not get them any attention, good or bad. In a public place is a little different, but at home, I left the room when a kid was throwing a tantrum. It seemed to work. They were never big tantrum throwers because it didn't get them anywhere.
oh yeah at home I totally agree. I just meant in a store..some parents let their kids throw themselves all over the floor and knowck things over and they act like they dont even see it. Very annoying.
oh yeah at home I totally agree. I just meant in a store..some parents let their kids throw themselves all over the floor and knowck things over and they act like they dont even see it. Very annoying.
If you have your child in a store and he or she is being very naughty and disobeying you what do you do. The other day my husband and I were at the store and my 4 year old would not stop throwing a fit. Now mind you, I have very well behaved children "Most Times". And I do disciplin my children at home. Now with that said I can count on one hand how many times my husband and I have spanked each one of our kids ages 12,8 and 4.
My child would not listen to his father or I and my husband smacked him on the bottom. Now, this was a very mild pat on the bottom and I am here to tell you, I was so worried about someone around us making a comment or giving us bad looks, but to my surprise we did not receive any of that. I felt my husband did nothing wrong but anymore you have to watch every move you make.
If you see this in a store what would you do if anything? Or have you ever had to disciplin your kids in a public place?
Sometimes I wonder why the kid didn't get spanked when he/she is acting up. You have more kids than I do so you have probably tried other techniques like counting, or setting expectations before you leave home, etc. I would say you were a united front, kudos to you... but if you didn't like how it looked or felt, then come up with an alternative next time that works for your family like you stay at home w/4 yr old and explain that she doesn't behave so she doesn't get to go, or all go at a different when perhaps the 4 yr old is not so tired/hungry, etc. Good luck to you!
oh yeah at home I totally agree. I just meant in a store..some parents let their kids throw themselves all over the floor and knowck things over and they act like they dont even see it. Very annoying.
I think that is the "ignore" method reaction to a tantrum which I totally disagreed with...my kids and I saw it happening once at a store once. My kids were like 5 and 4 at the time, they were shocked, and they covered their ears and we ran to the next aisle as it was soooo loud. Then oldest said, "he needs the corner"....LOL
My son is entering kindergarten, and his preschool teachers for the past 2 years have done nothing but praise what a good-natured, friendly, loving and RESPECTFUL child he is.
Good for you that he's a sweetie! The challenge is when he turns into a pre-teen hormonally driven puberty demon. (ALL humans go through that phase, some just show it more than others!)
And it even worse with girls, trust me. They are hellions.
There are some days when dealing with the youngest, I know EXACTLY why some animals eat their young to avoid the puberty phase.
Today's society may be more liberal than in the past but I think there's still an expectation that a parent will at least address a child's misbehavior in public.
While I would love to agree, I can't. Not when parents can't even get their ownkids to keep their underwear from hanging out and their body parts covered in public. That's super basic stuff, ya know? If we can't get dressing ourselves right, how are we going to get anything else right?!
While I would love to agree, I can't. Not when parents can't even get their ownkids to keep their underwear from hanging out and their body parts covered in public. That's super basic stuff, ya know? If we can't get dressing ourselves right, how are we going to get anything else right?!
Not everyone values micromanaging their children's clothing and style choices. There is no actual moral imperative that children dress the way we want them to.
I HATE the fact that my son wants to grow his hair. But it is HIS body. As long as he keeps it clean... It is his choice.
But that said, I think there are two polar opposite failures in USA parenting. Both of them are at the far end of the permissive / punitive debate. An effective discipline strategy is not a pavlovian behavioral modification model but based in understanding of the goal, hopefully character, moral, and cognitive development, and human behavior and motivation. Unfortunately to many parents' goal stops at behavior which is all to easy to manipulate using pavlovian conditioning. This comes at the expense of good character, moral and cognitive development which yields the next generation of clueless parents.
From Somebodynew: But that said, I think there are two polar opposite failures in USA parenting. Both of them are at the far end of the permissive / punitive debate. An effective discipline strategy is not a pavlovian behavioral modification model but based in understanding of the goal, hopefully character, moral, and cognitive development, and human behavior and motivation. Unfortunately to many parents' goal stops at behavior which is all to easy to manipulate using pavlovian conditioning. This comes at the expense of good character, moral and cognitive development which yields the next generation of clueless parents.[/quote]
This could actually be one of the smartest things ever said on this board. Seriously.
Last edited by LVKim8; 08-26-2011 at 11:09 PM..
Reason: Couldn't copy the quote properly so added who it was from.
If you have your child in a store and he or she is being very naughty and disobeying you what do you do. The other day my husband and I were at the store and my 4 year old would not stop throwing a fit. Now mind you, I have very well behaved children "Most Times". And I do disciplin my children at home. Now with that said I can count on one hand how many times my husband and I have spanked each one of our kids ages 12,8 and 4.
My child would not listen to his father or I and my husband smacked him on the bottom. Now, this was a very mild pat on the bottom and I am here to tell you, I was so worried about someone around us making a comment or giving us bad looks, but to my surprise we did not receive any of that. I felt my husband did nothing wrong but anymore you have to watch every move you make.
If you see this in a store what would you do if anything? Or have you ever had to disciplin your kids in a public place?
The problem is that some parents will do NOTHING for fear that if they smacked the child on the bottom some "concerned" parent who can't help but insert themselves in other people's lives will go overboard and call the Police and report the incident as child abuse. Your husband did what needed to be done and all who witnessed that were of like "common sense", and thus the situation was handled without incident. We should all be so lucky.
I have spanked all three of my children, two girls and one boy, but never in public and only once for a single offense. Spanking children multiple times for a single offense is wrong, and doing it in a public place is even worst. The belt is simply too harsh for a little kid, from 10 to 12, maybe, but bare hand on bare buttocks is appropriate for all ages and helps set the limits.
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