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Good afternoon everyone. This is going to be a long post but I’m not sure what to do about my brothers and his gfs baby. Let’s start off by saying my brother and his gf are the laziest people I know but I will start from the beginning. My brother and his girlfriend have been together for almost four years and shortly after they got together they decided instead of working they would write bad checks to an auto parts store and then return the parts to get cash instead which ended up with a total of approx $3000-$4000. They ended up with a court date and thinking they were smart they had a kid to keep them out of jail. It did work and they ended up with community service and restitution which they have not completed almost three years later and their final court date when they are supposed to have all this done by is November so how that’s going to happen is beyond me. They still do not work and live with my mom but won’t even do their community service so we are thinking they will definitely go to jail.
But to the main reason of this post and the most important is their now three year old son. And if I should report them for child abuse? My brother is physically abusive to his gf and I think that they are verbally/mentally and physically abusive to their child. They will not let him do anything, he is not allowed to talk, cry, and play with anything that has a possibility of making noise. They will slap him if he cries so now he is kind of like a mute if something happens where a normal kid would cry he doesn’t. They hold him down when they don’t want to get up in the morning; they have thrown things at him, etc, etc. They drag him around by his arm. My son told me one time he was by them and my brother tried making the kid push his mom down the stairs. They don’t actually punch him or kick him but to me it’s more the verbal with name calling, etc. They’ve covered his face with a blanket trying to make him sleep. I feel so sorry for him. One of the times my brother hit his gf she did call the cops and he went to jail for a weekend but right after he got out, they got back together, and on his court date all he got was anger management.
So I just recently started noticing how bad it is and am undecided if I should call family services, its family and they would definitely know who called because I have let them know what they are doing is wrong and I’m afraid to have them take him away from his parents and end up in foster care. I’ve heard different stories of kids ending up from foster home to foster home and then I keep thinking if I wait it may happen in November anyways if they do go to jail. And we keep hoping too that the gf will leave my brother and then she will stop acting like that towards him and be a decent mother but she keeps making excuses for herself. I know calling is the right thing to do but I keep waiting and just kinda keep making excuses myself and hoping it gets better. So I'm just seeing what you guys think.
And this stuff is just what I see when I visit my moms house, we don't live in the same city.
Why the heck does your mom continue enabling your brother's criminal and antisocial behavior? It would seem to me the whole family needs a little help!
I dont know why she enables him, I've tried talking to her about it but she keeps trying to help and it doesn't work. I've told her to put him out and see how the gf and child are after that but according to gf shes afraid he'll hit or who know what. And I know my moms feels that if she kicks them all out; what will happen to the kid. I know it probably sounds dumb, it does to me but I guess its her way of trying to be mom.
Would you prefer to call now or to give an interview later to a reporter saying you knew there was a history of abuse but you'd never thought they'd go as far as killing him.
If you were three years old and didn't know how to use the phone or even know there was something or someone out there that could help you wouldn't you be grateful if someone came along and helped you out of your personal hell?
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, make the call. And don't be surprised if you need to call more than once, sometime DCFS will let something slip through the cracks, if you know this behavior has continued after the first call or home visit then call again. I understand that you don't want to get family in trouble but this little boy is your family too and he is defensless, please help him.
It sounds like such a sad situation for that little boy. Imagine the stuff that you haven't seen or heard about. Does your mother do anything to protect him? Is there family that he can stay with rather than go into foster care? Anyway, it is your responsibility as a human to make the call. Good luck.
CALL, not that it will probably do any good. I am sorry to say, most DCFS workers are young kids out of college, and easily manipulated by POS parents. Not only that, when I called about kids that I suspected abuse on, as I was required to do as a teacher, the hotline workers wanted to know if I saw the child being hit, or if the child verbalized being hit, if the child had marks on them from being hit, which in most cases was no...and sadly enough, one of my students had a broken arm before DCFS stepped in, and even then, she was back in the same home within a month.
But, that being said, call, and make sure that there is documentation that you called, and request that the social worker assigned to the case follows up regarding the findings. They may not investigate, but at least it will be documented that you called. And you can remain anonymous.
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