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I was raised to be smart in school and never prioritize a social life, wasn't really allowed to meet up with friends that much after school etc. Needless to say this has led to some social challenges, getting a girl being the most prominent one of them.
Also I've gotten 2 advices on relationships, one from mom and one from dad; mom when I was in school: "don't worry, women will chase you in highschool" mom when I was in highschool: "don't worry, things will change and and women will see you differently when you go to university" mom now that I'm at university: "don't worry once you're through and get yourself a good job you might find someone"
Anyone else see a striking pattern here?
dad: "stay away from women son, they can never be reasoned with, nor trusted"
yep, that's the worst ****ing advice but it's all they ever really gave me.
I love my parents to death but god damn they made a few mistakes. This is why I don't really ever wanna have kids.
i was raised to be smart in school and never prioritize a social life, wasn't really allowed to meet up with friends that much after school etc. Needless to say this has led to some social challenges, getting a girl being the most prominent one of them.
Also i've gotten 2 advices on relationships, one from mom and one from dad; mom when i was in school: "don't worry, women will chase you in highschool" mom when i was in highschool: "don't worry, things will change and and women will see you differently when you go to university" mom now that i'm at university: "don't worry once you're through and get yourself a good job you might find someone"
anyone else see a striking pattern here?
Dad: "stay away from women son, they can never be reasoned with, nor trusted"
My parents were, and still are, fantastic. Honestly, I usually choose a night in at my parents house arguing with my mom about baseball and my dad about the upcoming zombie apocalypse (that somehow involves Obama?) over drinking and partying with my friends. In fact, my friends usually do the same as both my parents treat my friends as of they were their own kids.
All in all, a gal couldn't ask for a better set of parents
Heh, my parents were a real mixed bag. Not trying to earn pity points or sympathy but to share a rather unique experience.
My dad was born in Cuba, mostly black with hints of Spanish raised in America during the segregation dark ages. This among with his pride, insecurity, and arrogance gave him a HUGE chip on his shoulder. Overprotective as hell when it came to Caucasians. I wasn't allowed ANY white friends in the house, if they knocked he'd slam the door in their faces. Easily enraged over real petty stuff, and was a mean drunk. Sure, he had his nice moments but they were few and far between. After one episode of telling my dad I was called the "N" word in second grade by some fat trailer hog he went berserk and took it out on my mom, with her telling me it was my fault. His true nature came out when faced with someone who didn't tolerate his crap he cowered in fear behind my mom who was prone to cause conflict.
My mom, I used to believe that she was nice and innocent since seeing how my dad treated her it's no wonder she didn't leave him. When my dad passed when I was 15 it was then I saw my mom slowly of her true nature. She was very onery, befriended many onery, ignorant people and exposed alot of very personal secrets about me to near a large chunk of the town in which made dating even harder than it was for me. Constantly lied, belittled me and did every feminist guilt trip when I tried to question her that "You're just like you're father!" reminding me how much I didn't want to be like him that would keep me in line with her manipulative trap. She's made me into a weak shell of a man, a "nice guy" and still made fun of me for that.
Before her passing well over a decade later, when my sister managed to contact our half brother my mom refused to talk... after all that bravado of it was my dad's fault he took her from her first son. As it turned out, she basically took my half brother into a foster care and fled Canada to be with my dad. My dad was cruel beyond physical abuse to him and all my mom could do was allow it and justify. She left her first husband because she was bored, not because he was abusive... in fact he never laid a hand on her. She was basically this spoiled British only-child who demanded the world and couldn't be told "no". Not even an apology to a man who's mom abandoned him for jungle fever.
Despite it all you could say "Well at least you were fed and given a roof over your head and a Nintendo." But to that I say, and "at what **** price?" My parents came from that generation where they can do no wrong or own up to responsibility (Baby Boomers?). And since I was just a child back then, God forbid I'd ask them why without a rash "Shut up you don't know!"
If there was anything they did teach me, is that there is no way in hell I will ever end up like those two. I'm deathly afraid if I have kids... they're going to inherit something my parents or sister does to give me a stroke, an ulcer, a brain tumor, and a heart attack at the same time. As I was growing up I was pretty ignorant too thanks to their upbringing and it took 10 years and a few red pills to figure out that I was played for a fool. Still dealing with the after effects.
Future parents, heed my advice and LISTEN TO YOUR KIDS! Drop your guard and your insecurities and grow up, you're a family for crying out loud.
Poor parents, most doing the best that they can and then being hit with all the errors they made in rearing their young.
I think my parents should not have lied to me about Santa. It gave me a lesson early on that I could not trust them, as I still thought lying was wrong. When they told me there was no Santa I reached the conclusion that there was no Jesus, another imaginary friend. This did not make me disbelieve the mystical experience later in life, though.
My parents did not expect me to take responsibility. Fortunately, I knew this was an error on their part, hated the 'smother' love and left home to put myself through school and get a job and my own place as soon as I could. It could have turned out very differently, with me staying home and marrying some poor fellow with the promise of a good career and having 3 kids in a disastrous marriage.
My parents never discussed sex with me and they really should have. Reading dirty books with my girlfriends is a lousy substitute.
What about you guys?
Me too...I remember thinking that if my mom would lie to me about something as important as Santa to a kid, what else would she lie to me about? I also got my bottom blistered for calling her a liar.
My parents expected me to take too much responsibility early in life. By the age of 12, I was coming home to dinner to start, chores to do and younger siblings to watch. I had my youngest brother with me so much that to this day, many of our old neighbors, believe my mom faked a pregnancy to cover up for me having him.
Looking back, I guess it didn't hurt. I just didn't like it.
My kids will, probably, say I didn't give them enough responsibility. There were six of us so the older ones had to help out with the younger ones. My girls don't have younger siblings. It's just the two of them so there isn't a lot that they need to do.
I think my mother never being comfortable enough to talk to me about social things and being on my back 24/7 when it was clearly not neccessary . My grandmother always used to say "why are you on her all the time ?" So she never got off my back until I was out that door at 18 and then she would still try that crap when she came to my house and I would ask her to leave . My dad because he let her do that junk to me and not my oldest brother but yet my middle brother (who had downs syndrome ) got that too . My middle brother passed away at 27 from stomach complications and I know why cause I have those same stomach problems because of my moms constant 24/7 on our backs .
Used to be very critical about the way my parents handled correcting me and my siblings until i had a child of my own. My whole perspective has changed and taking their time into consideration, I now understand why they handled things the way they did, although, I still dont agree with their style and intend on doing things a lot different.
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