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I'm perplexed by if she's out by herself or out with her friends, she's responsible for herself. But if she's with the opposite gender, he is responsible for her safety. Weird double standard.
My son and daughter would both undoubtedly risk their lives to save even a stranger of any age and gender. They take after me in that regard. But to martyr themselves, no. Sometimes a situation is too hopeless. There's no sense in two people ending up dead. That would be stupidity, not bravery.
EXACTLY!!
If a girl is out with her friends she needs to hold her own yet just because she's with a guy doesn't mean he needs to assume total responsibility for her safety.
I hate that kind of stuff. I hate the whole chivalry deal. I can open a door for myself, I can hold my own in a fight, I can go pee by myself. I dont need someone to do anything for me. Just because I am a woman doesn't mean I need to be "protected" by a guy.
When I guy does it its considered being polite and kind, but if a woman were to do any of that stuff she'd be considered clingy and controlling.
I don't need someone one to escort me to the bathroom, I don't need someone to take a knife for me, I don't need any of.
I think girls should be raised to hold their own and be able to handle themselves in any situation, if someones daughter needs someone of the male gender to do things for her and "protect" her then they haven't done their parenting job properly.
Another thing, Coldjensen. In a previous post, you said the karate girl is only in the movies.
I was talking about you and your posts with my son last night. He totally disagrees with you.
There was a 4'7" 90lb girl in his college self defense class that was extremely capable of taking down, even killing, any man of any size.
If you really wanted your daughters to be safe, you wouldn't disregard martial arts and self defense training as only for the movies.
I raised my daughter to be able to protect herself from males. I can't imagine why she'd put her faith IN a male, to protect her. If we encounter danger, my daughter and I face it, we're NOT going to wait to decide whether or not some guy is going to step in and do it for us!
I'm perplexed by the father who wants the date to hold his breath and run through the flames to get his daughter out of the bathroom.
The proper date drops to the floor and crawls UNDER the smoke and flames so he can breathe and not pass out. (Smoke rises. Date will have oxygen if he's crawling on the floor.) Daughter is going to die in the toilet if date is running through the flames.
Oohh. Here's an idea. How about teaching daughter to drop to the ground and crawl beneath the smoke and save herself?
I hope that this was intended to be silly.
If not please excuse me for leaving some details out of my example. Of course your assertion is a Generality and not always true. You see in my example the fire is in the basement, the floor is covered with burning popcorn oil, and the HVAC system is forcing the smoke to the floor level. The only breathable air is near the cieling and the girl is in the bathroom and has no idea that there is a fire. The firemen have not arrived since they are stuck behind a train that is blocking the road. Thus your general advice would kill both kids.
If not please excuse me for leaving some details out of my example. Of course your assertion is a Generality and not always true. You see in my example the fire is in the basement, the floor is covered with burning popcorn oil, and the HVAC system is forcing the smoke to the floor level. The only breathable air is near the cieling and the girl is in the bathroom and has no idea that there is a fire. The firemen have not arrived since they are stuck behind a train that is blocking the road. Thus your general advice would kill both kids.
And why hasn't daughter been taught by Daddy to keep one ear open for the screeching smoke alarm and thus be able to reach into her purse for her survival knife (a birthday present) thus allowing her to cut a hole in the drywall thereby saving herself and her weak-bladdered best friend thus enabling her to be interviewed by Channel 7 where she'll be able to say, "Daddy taught me to save myself!!"
Yeah, she's totally on her own if the floor is covered with burning popcorn oil. No way any date could get across that! She's on her own. She either has to crawl out of the window high up on the basement foundation or she needs to bust through the ceiling using Dew's survival knife. Sadly, it's likely she'll just parish. Thank God her date survived because he's not an idiot and knew coldjensen's daughter was in a hopeless situation.
In response to the OP, my DD is only 6 so I have a few years. However, I have one main general rule that my mom taught me and I am passing down to my DD. "If it is something that you would not do in front of your mom, you probably shouldn't be doing it." In other words, pretend like your mom is always in the room with you. If you won't do it in front of her, don't do it.
My house is the safe place for not only my DD, but for several other kids in my neighborhood. They know if they are ever in trouble from anything from a creepy person that they don't feel safe being around to a friend who is trying to get them to do something they don't want to do they can run into my house without knocking or call me even in the middle of the nigh and I won't ask questions but will be there for them to talk to if they need to talk.
I am also raising my daughter to be able to take care of herself. After all, the fact that I can take care of myself is the main thing that attracted my DH to me. She knows how to take a grown man down and has done it in the past (at 5 years old) when she felt threatened. If a 5 year old can do it, so can a 16 year old.
I guess besides my general rule of don't do anything you wouldn't want your mom to see, my other rules are basically have respect for yourself and any boy worth having will respect you too.
ETA: I feel that if my daughter can't protect herself, she is not ready for dating so none of this would apply to her. I would hate to think of my daughter being out in this world unable to protect herself and depending on a teenage BOY to protect her.
200-lb drunk guys and men with knives and hostage situations? Jeez Louise! There's something to be said for living in the boring suburbs.
I know...if all that's going on I wouldn't be worried about my child dating, I'd be more worried about the safety in town..
Also this needs to be said but AGAIN we're talking about children here....if your child is faced with a fat man with a knife.....I wouldn't teach him to engage the man in physical combat, I wouldn't teach any child to do that.
I think a few people are losing sight of this is about teens dating, not the 18+ who make dating rules for themselves.
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