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I would hate that.
Not that whole parents having rules things but being escorted to the bathroom and waited on while I was in here or not being left alone at any time. I don't need a man that clingy and supervising. That would be ridiculous.
Too bad for you. Like I said, unless it was a completely safe place, I want my daughter kept safe and that's all there is too it. We're not talking about an adult woman, we're talking about a naive 16-20 year old girl who has been protected all her life.
And this is in a town where the date rape drugs are prevalent, so I want to make sure it doesn't happen to her.
I know of one woman who went out with friends and was slipped something in a soft drink and became so disoriented that after leaving the bathroom, she somehow found herself outside in some dark alley trying to find the entrance to the club and where her friends were. Luckily some older grandfather type found her and helped get her to her father. Her friends apparently didn't bother trying to find her which is very disturbing, their excuse was they thought she just went home without telling them.
Obviously your way isn't working for all those girls that have been date raped and been drugged at a party or club and found themselves raped.
If my daughter goes out with a guy, I expect him to watch out for her safety, not take her to places where she would HAVE to protect herself and certainly not be the kind of boy she would need to protect herself from.
Date rape is more prevalent than ever. Girls are not protecting themselves.
Because they are not being taught how to protect themselves!
Like I said, unless it was a completely safe place, I want my daughter kept safe and that's all there is too it. We're not talking about an adult woman, we're talking about a naive 16-20 year old girl who has been protected all her life.
That's the point in bold. Parents need to teach daughters them how to protect themselves long before they become adults.
If a girl doesn't know how to protect herself before she turns 18, her parents were too overprotective to her detriment.
I'm glad to see that almost everyone bases warning signs on behavior and attitude instead of appearance.
I was the mom of a green-haired kid at one point. There are plenty pf people out there who will base their opinions on appearance, and I got an early lesson in why I should never do it.
Wow, some of the best times I had in college involved dating a boy or two I would never bring home and were not remotely marriage material. One was in a band ::sigh:: and had long hair. The other had a motorcycle. OTOH my parents trusted my judgment and didn't assume I had no idea how to tell if a boy was respectful or not.
Sometimes dating is just about having some harmless fun and not about lining up your soul mate.
Well, yeah. But I think they key word there is "college". I think a twenty-year-old is a lot more emotionally ready for the no-strings-attached, just-for-the-heck-of-it kind of dating than a fifteen- or sixteen-year-old. And realistically, when they were college aged my girls were living a couple of states away from me, so it wasn't a realistic issue by then.
I'll admit I was a little bummed that my son-in-law became my son-in-law before I met him, but at that point he and dd were in the military, and the situation was completely different.
I was the mom of a green-haired kid at one point. There are plenty pf people out there who will base their opinions on appearance, and I got an early lesson in why I should never do it.
My parents judged on appearance. All the guys they liked were jerks. All the guys they disapproved were the nicest people. That's why I don't judge on appearances.
That sounds like a contradiction. You dated guys you would never bring home to meet your parents but then comment that your parents assumed you could tell if one was respectful or not? I suppose you could tell but went out with the unrespectful ones anyhow.
Yup. I definitely dated a dud or two but that was half the fun. Isn't that the point of dating? To get to know someone ?
I once went out to a party with a seemingly "nice guy" from one of my classes in college who actually snapped his fingers to get my attention. Correcting his impression that that was somehow acceptable in front of all of his frat buddies was SUPER fun. Especially since that was how I met my husband (he was in the same frat).
I was raised to expect boys/men whatever to respect me because of who I am not because of my father. And lets be real here, there are many "disrespectful" guys who pass the walk up to the door and talk to the parents test. Hell, my cousin married a guy who seemed like a diamond on the surface and smacked her around when they were alone. It is more important that the girl have high expectations than her dad, that way if someone turns out to be disrespectful SHE will deal with them.
Well, yeah. But I think they key word there is "college". I think a twenty-year-old is a lot more emotionally ready for the no-strings-attached, just-for-the-heck-of-it kind of dating than a fifteen- or sixteen-year-old. And realistically, when they were college aged my girls were living a couple of states away from me, so it wasn't a realistic issue by then.
I'll admit I was a little bummed that my son-in-law became my son-in-law before I met him, but at that point he and dd were in the military, and the situation was completely different.
Not sure where I said no strings attached?
It is possible to date, care for someone, etc and know you are never going to marry them. The idea that we date just to find someone to marry is weird to me.
as a single father, my 3 sons did not have dating rules.
but I also made it known that i did not want to be a grandfather either, they got the message.
Obviously your way isn't working for all those girls that have been date raped and been drugged at a party or club and found themselves raped.
If my daughter goes out with a guy, I expect him to watch out for her safety, not take her to places where she would HAVE to protect herself and certainly not be the kind of boy she would need to protect herself from.
Date rape is more prevalent than ever. Girls are not protecting themselves.
Yes I also teach all my kids about protecting their drinks, not drinking from a glass or can they left unattended, AND I remind their friends of the same thing. Including any boys that want to date my daughter. But I would also tell a group of boys or girls going out the same thing.
Circular logic here.
You are saying girls should trust their dates to protect them but their dates are the ones doing the violence. Just to be clear here, many of those guys seem like "nice" ones and pass the meet the parent test. Now since they have the girl trusts them and we all know where that ends up too often.
This all goes back to our forcing our young daughters to hug or kiss people or relatives out of politeness even when they do not want to. If more girls trusted their instincts and worried less about being polite, less of this stuff would happen.
That being said, my daughter and I are both 5'10 and have been since we were 15. She may only weigh 140 but she is strong, athletic and has been training in self-defense since she was a pre-teen. I am going to trust her, her judgment and her abilities, over some boy I talked to for half an hour, every day of the week. And that has nothing to do with a movie.
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