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It's been a while for me as well, but just a few off the top of my head are: experiment with bedtimes (make sure you're not trying too early or too late).Same thing with nap times. Naptimes, and numbers of naps, should shift as they grow. You can also experiment with different sleep rituals and environments such as lighting, room temperature, music (works for some, not for others), a night time bath to relax. Also, should they have more to eat before sleep to prevent waking out of hunger? Lots here to work with.
I don't see what any of that has to do with an already developed sleep association.
I don't see what any of that has to do with an already developed sleep association.
Plenty. If a sleep association is already developed, it can be changed by using one or some of the techniques I listed. Developed is not the same thing as unalterable by using different approaches.
Despite asking more than once and with a genuine desire to know what these options are, when I ask what these other options are to dealing with a sleep association issue, I have yet to hear one. Please share! I have no more babies. But I am really interested.
When I night-weaned my oldest daughter, I gradually replaced nursing to sleep with touching my nipple, then with holding my hand, then with sitting by her bed, then with sitting by the door, etc. I'm not saying it happened as quickly as CIO would, for sure. But since I wasn't interested in or comfortable with CIO, I chose to do it another way. If my child cried, I was always there with her to comfort her - my kids were not left to cry alone. My youngest daughter night-weaned all on her own, I didn't do anything at all to make it happen.
I have also gradually replaced one sleep association with another that was more preferable to me. For example, nursing to sleep replaced with rocking, rocking replaced with butt patting, butt patting replaced with singing, etc. We have done several different things at different ages. Now, at ages 2 and 5, we just say good night, give a hug, sing one song, and leave the room with no tears. I didn't expect that from my kids as infants though. I just hear a lot of doomsday talking, that if you don't CIO now that your kid is never, ever going to sleep, and I think it is not true at all.
I recommend a book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." I bought it before my first child was born - and fortunately he was a sleeping champ, and has never needed it. Around ten months old, he went through a two week span of wakefulness - I did the graduated CIO methods in the book... he was back to normal in one night.
My four month old daughter - I just tried the graduated CIO with her last night. She is a crappy sleeper, horrible napper, and I truly believe the author of that book is completely right - sleep begets sleep, and you have to do what it takes to ensure your child gets enough sleep, or it will introduce problems later in life. My son (no sleep issues) is a happy, focused, incredibly intelligent and curious child. My daughter (granted, only four months old) is usually cranky and irritable. I did some CIO for her last night, and she only woke twice during the night to feed (better than four times), and she had two wonderfully long naps - two and three and a half hours! She was smiling, happy, and engaging, and went down to bed with none of her typical fighting to sleep. I'll take the one hour of CIO (went in at 5, 10, 15, etc minutes) last night rather than her chucking her pacifier out and bawling every thirty seconds for an hour every night, every nap, etc.
Cruel? No, cruel is having your poor kid not learning how to self-soothe, which results in crappy sleep and an unrested baby.
When I night-weaned my oldest daughter, I gradually replaced nursing to sleep with touching my nipple, then with holding my hand, then with sitting by her bed, then with sitting by the door, etc. I'm not saying it happened as quickly as CIO would, for sure. But since I wasn't interested in or comfortable with CIO, I chose to do it another way. If my child cried, I was always there with her to comfort her - my kids were not left to cry alone. My youngest daughter night-weaned all on her own, I didn't do anything at all to make it happen.
I have also gradually replaced one sleep association with another that was more preferable to me. For example, nursing to sleep replaced with rocking, rocking replaced with butt patting, butt patting replaced with singing, etc. We have done several different things at different ages. Now, at ages 2 and 5, we just say good night, give a hug, sing one song, and leave the room with no tears. I didn't expect that from my kids as infants though. I just hear a lot of doomsday talking, that if you don't CIO now that your kid is never, ever going to sleep, and I think it is not true at all.
An answer. Thanks for that. The problem that we had with sleep association was not that something was required to GET my son to sleep. With each partial waking, he would recognize his state was not the same as when he fell asleep and would come fully awake. So to get back to sleep would require that nursing or rocking each and every time. The sleep cycle is such that the partial waking turned full waking happened every about one hour. Mom and baby were perpetually exhausted. He would fall instantly asleep nursing. So he was underfed.
If you baby wants soothing to fall asleep, then stays asleep, I cannot see a problem with that. I, *personally*, also don't see a problem with saying with soothing words and physical aspect, yes love I know you want me to rock you down, but I am not going to. I can see both of those things. But when faced with what the Doc Ferber calls sleep association that affects partial wakings, I fond it harder to imagine that these gentle touches would be effective. I read the No Cry Sleep Solution. I know I am not remembering it well and am probably bastardizing the message. But my recollection was suffer on and make a diary of their sleep patterns and hope something useful shakes out. I am pretty sure I'd have been drooling in the sleep diary!
But yah I hear you about doomsday and your child will NEVER sleep through the night. Many many people's experience belie that reality.
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