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How many of you have heard of this strategy? Father says to his son before sending him off to Junior High, "Son, if you ever get to thinking that you want to try drugs or alcohol, come to me first and we'll find you some".
Logic: "I'd rather him get it from me where he can experiment in a safe place" and/or "I'll make him take so much, he gets sick and doesn't ever want to mess with it again."
Have you ever heard of this, or is it just Southern wisdom?
My husband grew up with this, at least regarding alcohol. His parents let him drink freely at home. The idea was that that way they could monitor and control it, they didn't have to worry about him sneaking around or drinking and driving, as well as that he wouldn't feel like it was a big, exciting, rebellious thing to do. This was in NJ, not the South.
Well I think that is the opposite folly of Just say No or other dismissive approaches. Education, real, solid information is the way to go in my book. Buy my kids drugs? No way, not happening. Responsible alcoholic Sunday dinner beverage? Sure.
Safe to say we'd all supply a little bit of alcohol to our adolescents before giving them drugs (then again, maybe some out there are making the exception for marijuana). But even with alcohol, I don't think I could bring myself to letting my teen son drink to get drunk even once, nor force him to drink until he gets sick. I guess I'm too much of a pansy to raise a good kid
I have often thought, it's just a bluff. If their son/daughter did in fact come to them and say "I wanna try some angeldust", surely they wouldn't actually go looking for some! But then, what purpose would that serve, if only to make your word that much less believable later on?
My dad did this with cigarettes for my sister and me. I never did smoke after one time trying it with him. My sister, otoh, smoked for several years and had a hard time quitting.
My dad did this with cigarettes for my sister and me. I never did smoke after one time trying it with him. My sister, otoh, smoked for several years and had a hard time quitting.
So it's at least got a 50% success rate Makes ya wanna ask, "What doesn't?" though...
I went to High School with a guy whose parents were like that...he was the "cool guy", everyone wanted to hang out at his house because his parents let him (and others drink) to "demystify" alcohol.
I attended his "double" funeral (he died drinking and driving and took his best friend with him) while his parents were on vacation in Europe. They lef thim home alone because they thought that they had taught him to be a responsible drinker...
I went to High School with a guy whose parents were like that...he was the "cool guy", everyone wanted to hang out at his house because his parents let him (and others drink) to "demystify" alcohol.
I attended his "double" funeral (he died drinking and driving and took his best friend with him) while his parents were on vacation in Europe. They lef thim home alone because they thought that they had taught him to be a responsible drinker...
Wow. Maybe there's something more to making this approach work. I do believe in teaching kids to drink responsibly before you turn them loose on the world as adults. But you have to know your son/daughter, consider their personality, and keep up with every little change in their attitude and social situation.
And I'd NEVER approve of someone ELSE'S teenager coming over and drinking, even if the parents told me directly that they were okay with it.
I had a sip of my dads beer when I was like 5. I didn't enjoy beer until later. Like 30 years of age. Then I discovered micro-brews and now I love beer.
But no- that philosophy with kids leads to unexpected consequences. I'd rather take my kids hunting or camping.
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