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Why are you still refering to this girl as your daughter's friend? Friends hang out, go to each others houses, etc... are you really ever going to let your daughter do any of those things with this bully?
If the parents won't acknowledge their daughters behavior and do something about it, try calling the police. Even without pressing charges, an officer should be willing to talk with this girl and explain the seriousness of her actions (and the consequenses if something like it happens again). I would also go to the school and let them know what happened and that you expect your daughter to be able to learn and attend school in a safe environment (every public schools legal duty), in case this becomes an issue at school. Lastly, I would block this girls phone number so that she cannot contact your daughter and try and bully her that way (call your phone carrier - any mention of bullying or harrassment and they will gladly block a number for you).
Sorry you are having to go through this - my daughter and I have fought this battle before also. Teenage girls can be evil, evil creatures
I dont really understand the point of this thread. It seems like common sense - dont let your daughter talk to said girl and go talk to her parents about her behavior.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rainbow Connection
@ dew drop in
i had no idea she was texting her. i asked her to stop. but then the girl sent a nasty text, which prompted my daughter to defend herself and respond. and while posting my concerns, just told my daughter to stop. because the girl will never see her point. the fact that she was still arguing why it was no big deal to choke anyone to my daughter, spoke volumes.
Keep copies of the txts and show them to the police. Get a RO.
@ dew drop in
i had no idea she was texting her. i asked her to stop. but then the girl sent a nasty text, which prompted my daughter to defend herself and respond. and while posting my concerns, just told my daughter to stop. because the girl will never see her point. the fact that she was still arguing why it was no big deal to choke anyone to my daughter, spoke volumes.
Getting into a back and forth to defend herself might sound right to you but she should have simply responded "I will not be communicating with you any further. Do not text me anymore" and left it at that. Responding will only result in additional messages.
Get your daughter's phone number changed or call the provider and have this girl blocked from sending her messages.
2. Some basic physiology, if your daughter was choked to the point she almost passed out she would have serious bruising. Take pictures and share them with the friend's parents.
well... ever come across a parent who thinks their kid is right no matter what. better yet, REFUSES to EVER discipline her children! Several before me had approached the mother concerning the other daughter's behavior.
examples :cursing out a pool attendant for not allowing her to enter the pool as a minor after she lied and said she was much older.. After she SNUCK in while pool attendant was getting charcoal from hut.. She was not allowed in pool area for a week. The mother's response ( instead of teaching her daughter to be honest) "Those @$^#^$ !!! could have let you in!!!"
ANYONE who has ever approached the mother about anything concerning her kids has been told either "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!!!" Or after asking to come in to talk about a matter concerning the child, will get a simple door slammed in their face !!
BTW. my daughter will no longer be allowed to associate with that girl again! i told her when you see her coming turn and go the other way !! ( although she did do that yesterday and the girl ran up on her INSISTING she talk!) luckily i was looking outside and asked my daughter while looking at bully "is everything alright?" then my daughter left with her other friends.
You failed to mention that in your post, we're not mind readers.
I still stick by my original post. COMMON SENSE... DONT LET YOUR CHILD TALK TO THE GIRL.
My daughter is 13 years old. Her friend is 13. My daughter is 4'11. Her friend is 5'7.
2 days ago, the two of them were at the playround. There were 2 other friends there. My daughter in joking, pushed a boy in front of the swing while her friend was swinging. Not even enough to reach my daughter's friend. There was never any physical contact.
It was horse play. And my daughter should have used better judgement in case the boy did not get out the way. She was wrong. somone could have gotten hurt!!
My daughter's friend jumped off the swing and told my daughter "YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME!!!' again there was never any contact on either side. She grabbed my daughter from behind ( she towers over my daughter! ) and put my kid in a choke hold. (her arm bent around my daughter neck and restricting air from the windpipe) !!!! even though my daughter pleaded and begged her too, because she was in pain and felt dizzy like she was going to pass out!
Then the girl grabs my daughter by her THROAT, and throws her on the ground !!
It was so bad the other 2 kids ran over and asked if my daughter was alright. they later told me the story just as my daughter did. and were just as shocked about this girl's behavior. My daughter came home crying. She was terrified. She said "Mom i couldn't BREATHE !!!" And she was even more terrifed that she was thrown on the ground with such force! -By her neck. I looked at her throat and it was red. and red at her windpipe where this girl had her other arm in a fist hold over her windpipe.
My daughter is now having a text arguement with this girl. The girl INSISTS my daughter i making a mountain out of a mole hil. Saying it was not a big deal. repeatedly texting "STOP whining"! And says if my kid was hurt so bad, WHY was she outside the next day!!
Please give me your thoughts.This will help my daughter as well. She belives her friend is wrong. But confused becasue her friend is not taking responsibility. So my daughter is second guessing her feelings. My daughter need your help to to process this.
I already gave her my thoughts. I told her with regards to the girl choking my baby, " I am handing out behind whippins and lollipops! And tonight I am ALLLL out of lollipops!"
Thanks in advance!!
Your daughter needs to process this; she's hanging out with an abusive person and if I were you I'd be worried for her safety. I'm well aware that kids rough-house, but there's quite a difference between that and abuse, which is what this is.
She is continuing her abuse by minimizing it and making it seem okay. She might very well think it's okay if she lives in a house where treatment like this is an everyday thing. Kids who grow up like this sometimes need to get out into the real world before they get a chance to see that healthy people are taught not to put up with being physically abused.
Unless you suspect this friend is actually being abused herself, none of her behavior is your responsibility. This girl seems well-versed on how to kill somebody already so I'd be worried. Worried enough to report it to proper authorities if this friend doesn't leave your daughter alone. Break off their friendship, explain to your daughter why if you have to, and encourage your daughter to make new friends. This other girl sounds dangerous. Good luck.
@ dew drop in
i had no idea she was texting her. i asked her to stop. but then the girl sent a nasty text, which prompted my daughter to defend herself and respond. and while posting my concerns, just told my daughter to stop. because the girl will never see her point. the fact that she was still arguing why it was no big deal to choke anyone to my daughter, spoke volumes.
I agree with dew drop in - stop the texting and all other contact. You don't make "friends" with a bully, you move on and find new friends.
It takes two to tango, now that your daughter knows how this other girl is, she needs to dump the friendship and find more compatible friends. There is no good reason whatsover to keep the text bickering going.
At this point you need to be the parent rather than your daughter's friend. Insist she quit talking to the girl, texting the girl, whatever. Go and talk to the girl's parents, and mention the incident to the school if the girls go to the same school. It is a big deal, you need to let your daughter know that it's a big deal, that she was assaulted and can't be around that other girl anymore.
Personally, I would have called the police and pressed charges. It might have been the wakeup call the girl needs to get control of her temper before she hurts someone in a way that can't be mended. When I was a teenager, I was assaulted in my front yard by a friend's brother. My parents wouldn't let me call the police because they were embarrassed (there were some sexual aspects to the assault). A couple years later, that same boy shot and killed one of his friends in his living room. I've always wondered, if I had reported the assault and gone to press charges, would things have happened differently?
I totally agree with your first paragraph.
What a horrible situation. I am so sorry for everyone involved.
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Worried enough to report it to proper authorities if this friend doesn't leave your daughter alone. Break off their friendship, explain to your daughter why if you have to, and encourage your daughter to make new friends. This other girl sounds dangerous. Good luck. 
