Parents Play Favorites When Helping Out Adult Kids (teens, support, wife)
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I agree that the bio parent should make things equal or at least somewhat equal but it doesn't always happen.
No I completely disagree. I married a man with 3 pre teens who lived primarily with their mother. He was deep in debt when we married but through hard work and mainly my money management skills we are in a very comfortable position now with 4 kids of our own. The ex wife married as well.
I upped the child support once we got married because frankly I could see she was struggling. We made our last child support payment in June and had our first child in August. Large age difference between the kids. We helped somewhat with one of the kids at 26 when she got into some legal problems but there was no way any more money was going to them after we got our family going.
Our wills are written so that our estate goes to our 4 children. Doesn't mean we don't love his "kids"- the oldest is now 51 but our estate comes from our own work and my own inheritances. Of course they do not expect one red cent from us so this will not come as a surprise.
As a parent you help the ones who need it. If you don't need cash to fix your car....don't expect an extra $800 to spend on your trip to Alaska this summer. I don't give equally because they don't need equally.
Same as when you guys were kids....not everyone got time out....because some did not need it as much.
Yes...I love all my kids the same. But some are closer....but anyone can call me for help. But not for bail money.
No I completely disagree. I married a man with 3 pre teens who lived primarily with their mother. He was deep in debt when we married but through hard work and mainly my money management skills we are in a very comfortable position now with 4 kids of our own. The ex wife married as well.
I upped the child support once we got married because frankly I could see she was struggling. We made our last child support payment in June and had our first child in August. Large age difference between the kids. We helped somewhat with one of the kids at 26 when she got into some legal problems but there was no way any more money was going to them after we got our family going.
Our wills are written so that our estate goes to our 4 children. Doesn't mean we don't love his "kids"- the oldest is now 51 but our estate comes from our own work and my own inheritances. Of course they do not expect one red cent from us so this will not come as a surprise.
I would be shocked if there weren't resentment in this situation. Shocked.
As a parent you help the ones who need it. If you don't need cash to fix your car....don't expect an extra $800 to spend on your trip to Alaska this summer. I don't give equally because they don't need equally.
Same as when you guys were kids....not everyone got time out....because some did not need it as much.
Yes...I love all my kids the same. But some are closer....but anyone can call me for help. But not for bail money.
But the problem is in some families that one child will get money to help with the car tires, car payment, awesome birthday gifts, etc while the other children are told to grow up and stop expecting things.
But the problem is in some families that one child will get money to help with the car tires, car payment, awesome birthday gifts, etc while the other children are told to grow up and stop expecting things.
Or, since they always pay for their own car repair, can't save for a trip.
Okay...me for example...right now I have a daughter in college, she gets support...I have one son who makes over $100,000 a year...he does not need anything. One who makes $65k, he is doing fine too....and one who makes less than $30k a year....yes...I do help out the one who makes less...I don't tell anyone..but they probably know. What is good about my kids...is that they don't bicker or have jealousy...and the one who makes the most....he has helped out his siblings as well.
I would be shocked if there weren't resentment in this situation. Shocked.
Really? The youngest of his 3 children was 18 when our first was born. The oldest is 51 and we have 2 still in grade school. A great deal of our assets came to me from my inheritances and you think I should leave adult step children any money when I have 2 still in grade school? These 3 are all doing just great now and haven't asked for or received any financial assistance in many years. Believe me we took great care of them while they were minors, pitched in for weddings, rehearsal dinners, and emergency car repairs. I would be shocked if they even thought they were entitled to anything at all from us.
In my experience, when parents play favorites it can ruin the relationship between the siblings. My mother coddles my brother. Always has and always will. It's her money to do with what she will. I don't hold it against her, but resent the heck out of my brother who takes advantage of her.
Because of that, I do keep track of how I help out my kids. If I help one with X, I may help the other with Y, but they know that in the end I'm doing the same in terms of money for both of them. My kids haven't had to ask for help. They manage their money well, but now and again we notice there's something that may help them out and offer to do so. They are always grateful, a sentiment my brother has never managed to learn.
Really? The youngest of his 3 children was 18 when our first was born. The oldest is 51 and we have 2 still in grade school. A great deal of our assets came to me from my inheritances and you think I should leave adult step children any money when I have 2 still in grade school? These 3 are all doing just great now and haven't asked for or received any financial assistance in many years. Believe me we took great care of them while they were minors, pitched in for weddings, rehearsal dinners, and emergency car repairs. I would be shocked if they even thought they were entitled to anything at all from us.
No but your husband should leave them a portion of his money. And you would be amazed of the stupidity grown adults create when dealing with wills.
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