Worst-First Thinking (or not everyone is out to harm your children) (legal, teaching)
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This story is sad, and I have heard a few similar to it. People really need some perspective on "stranger danger". Statistically, sadly, friends, aquaintances, and family are more likely to harm our children, and yet people remain obsessed by "stranger danger".
Quote:
I was accused of abusing a child when I rescued him from drowning. I was swimming on beach and I noticed a 8 or 9 year old kid come off his little surf board and he sunk straight to the bottom, about 10 feet deep. I swam down and rescued the kid and swam him back to the beach. As soon as I got the child to the beach he was crying and coughing up water, his mother ran down screaming to leave her boy alone. She was screaming at me so loudly that people were crowding around to see what had happened. At this time the life guards turned up and I advised them what happened as I could not talk any sense to the mother. The life guards took the boy and mother to the life guard hut and I went back to my towel on the beach.
One of the life guards came back to me 10 minutes later and ask me to stay where I am because the police have been called and the mother wants to press charges. The cops turned up 20 minutes later and interviewed me and at that time another lady came up to the police and corroborated my story. The cops let me go, no apology from mother who was marching off the beach arguing with the cops after they told her what happened. If it was not for the other lady I believe I would be sitting in a police cell for rescuing a kid.
Man Rescues Drowning Boy, Mom Accuses Him of Being a Pedophile « FreeRangeKids (http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/man-rescues-drowning-boy-mom-accuses-him-of-being-a-pedophile/ - broken link)
Amen. Our collective criminalization of men who work with, volunteer with, or simply help out children, is so detrimental to our kids it makes my heart hurt. My husband loves kids, runs our youth group at church, volunteers at our kids' school, I admit I worry that someday that someone will accuse him of something. This week a mother complained to the school about fathers volunteering in the classroom-God forbid our kids have positive male role models.
It's a shame that there are paranoid parents like this out there. Hearing stories like this, there is going to be another time when an adult will let a child drown, or get hurt in some other way, for fear of accusations. I think there is a way to teach kids to be cautious without making them believe that a pedophile lurks around every corner. How can anybody be happy and live a normal life with this kind of thinking?
Edited to add, a while ago, there was a thread about male preschool teachers. Apparently, just being male and teaching preschool made this young man suspect. This reminded me of that.
I have a friend who is extremely paranoid. She used to work in a kids group home. Most of them had been removed from their homes due to abuse, many due to sexual abuse. She would scowl at men that smile and her kids and comment, "How cute your child is!". It's really sad. I think she sees pedophiles everywhere now.
My BIL studied to be a teacher, even got his masters degree. On his second day as a kindergarten teacher, one of the little boys was trying to stab another in the eye with a pencil. BIL picked up the boy and prevented the injury. He was fired for picking up the student. I really feel like that wouldn't have happened if he was female.
I sometimes think the reason we are so overzealous about stranger danger is that we just want to scare our kids so we don't have to watch them. If you're sending your 5 year old out to play in the front yard, or down the street, it makes sense to tell them not to talk to anyone but other kids. I'm always outside with my kids, so it's okay if they talk to the man who walks past with his dogs, or the guy jogging with his stroller, or the mailman, or the ice cream man. I'm there and nothing is going to happen.
Amen. Our collective criminalization of men who work with, volunteer with, or simply help out children, is so detrimental to our kids it makes my heart hurt. My husband loves kids, runs our youth group at church, volunteers at our kids' school, I admit I worry that someday that someone will accuse him of something. This week a mother complained to the school about fathers volunteering in the classroom-God forbid our kids have positive male role models.
No doubt. When we lived in Japan, the local (children of military members stationed there) were in need of Troop Leaders since many of the Dads were deployed - the kids weren't able to do some of their activites since they had no leaders... A couple Dads we knew keep asking my husband to help out but he was really reluctant since we didn't have any children of our own and he thought that some people might find it odd that a 30 something man suddenly wanted to off in the woods with other peoples children...
My husband also "geocaches" - for those that don't know - it's a hobby where, using your handheld GPS you look for treasures hidden by other geocachers. Alot of them are hidden in local parks and sometimes near playground equipmnt (often they are hidden in tiny boxes attched to the underside of benchs and the like with magnets). He has , on several occasions, been confronted by Mommies for being there without children...
I know there have been parks that have mde it illegal for unacompanied adults to be in them....There was some poor guy labeled as a pervert because, accordig to parents he was doing pull-ups on the playground and taking pictures with his cell phone of children (it turned out he was using the phone's stopwatch feature to time his pull-ups). Poor guy even ended up being featured on the local news...
I drive around a lot for my job, and if I have to pull over somewhere to make phone calls (or just take a break), I'm always careful not to park near playgrounds or schools. Not that I look like I'd be some pervert or anything like that, I just don't need any unwarranted attention.
I don't know who I feel more sorry for, the rescuer or the kid! Imagine what this kid has to deal with every day!!!
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