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I think even a child that has excellent parents will find flaws. For starters, many of us really only have one set of parents and no other reference point. Some "major failings" viewed by one child could be seen as minor infractions by another child with different parents.
My mom is short tempered and doesn't listen well. She does show it by doing things for me and my siblings. I told her she hasn't ever said I love you to me. I tell my son all the time and hug him. Give him emotional support as well.
I think even a child that has excellent parents will find flaws. For starters, many of us really only have one set of parents and no other reference point. Some "major failings" viewed by one child could be seen as minor infractions by another child with different parents.
You are SOOOO right. According to dd#1, we're the worst parents in the world. She claims to have raised herself because we were never home. Dd#2 thinks we were home too much. Same household. Same parents. Different kids and TOTALLY different perspectives. I'm sure dd#1 will have nothing good to say about our parenting for decades to come. She's my all or nothing child. Forget the glass half full thing, if you take one drop out of her glass it might as well be empty. If someone else got more than she did, then she got nothing. It's really annoying.
According to her, she CAN'T go to college because we haven't saved $180,000 for her education and that's what it costs. There are NO other options. Oh the drama....
My father did the one and only thing that was necessary to raise us kids properly and successfully. He loved our mother. And admired her and respected her, in ways that all the world could see.
He did other things, too, but that was the important one.
so simple and yet so profound.....you were fortunate to have such loving parents...it is indeed THE MOST important part of raising kids. Beautiful post CowanStern.
Yah they did. They are imperfect humans. Like all of us. Over it. Now I look to be able to afford all the best therapy for my kids when they are bigger.
Where doI start?
I was adopted into a family that eventually became alcoholics, and there was a lot of physical violence between them.
This prevented them from being real parents, needless to say, I wasn't prepared for life on my own when I left home.
I think my experience made me a much better parent...my parents taught me what NOT to do as a parent.
My girls are very happy and well adjusted.
I agree that a good relationship between the parents can have a profound impact on the well-being and development of their kids. That's where my parents failed. They probably should never have gotten married.
Several of you have described very painful, scarring problems from your childhood, yet you have grown up to be thoughtful, caring parents who show love well and respect your spouse. That is amazing to me.
My childhood was so scarring that I long ago knew I would never, ever get married. I'm sad about not having kids though...
My parents did the best that they could I wasnt abused and I had a great childhood.
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