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I see only one thing wrong here. You have been given some good advice, but, I think the problem is not only that he may have hurt the dog (and it could have been an accident) but that he tried to evade telling the truth. I think kids get in the habit of trying to cover up bad things.
I would forget this incidence. There may never be another one anything like it. But from time to time, when an occasion comes up with him or someone else, remind him that it's important to be open about things so people will know exactly what happened. And don't ever punish for being honest.
I would forget this incidence. There may never be another one anything like it. But from time to time, when an occasion comes up with him or someone else, remind him that it's important to be open about things so people will know exactly what happened. And don't ever punish for being honest.
It will be easier to forget once I pay off the $1000 vet bill.
From your mouth to God's ears that there is never another incidence like this one again!
I did punish him for hurting the dog and I am still trying to get him to take responsibility for it, instead of blaming the bad luck trike. But like I said he's a challenge for sure!
I completely understand why you would be angry at your 5 year old. I, too, would have him cater to the dog. Have him do extra nice things for the dog if the dog and you will let him...feed him, brush him, sing him songs, give him water. Let him know this is how we take care of animals when they are hurt or sick. Also, putting the trike in time out for a week wouldn't hurt. If it's a 'bad luck' trike maybe it should go to Goodwill? And this could be a major stretch for some people, but maybe sell the bike b/c it's bad luck, then have your son help pay for the vet bill with that money. Or not letting him ride the trike in that spot where he hurt the dog...was it the back yard?
I know when my 3 year old starts getting just a little rough (squeezes too hard or accidently steps on the tail) with my 11 year old beagle it really makes me mad. My beagle was my first baby. I had him before I even met my husband!
Good luck with this situation. I know it's difficult.
I would take the bike away. Also, I would try to help him with perspective taking.
Secondly, 5 years old is not too young for a dx of ADHD. If you truly think he has it, you should pursue it!
Irishmom, I am so sorry this happened. Poor you, poor Lab.
Children will do these kinds of accidentally-on-purpose maneuvers, and yes, it is often little boys who lack impulse control. My little brothers got up to all kinds of horrid mischief (including animal-related stuff) but they did grow up to be compassionate human beings.
I emphatically agree with Drouzin's #1 and #3, but I am not sure your son would quite get #2. He would probably understand it enough to *say* the right thing, but it might be too abstract for him, at the present time, to wholly comprehend it.
Of course, you really could go at him with a bike, but that kind of realism might not be advisable.
::hugs::
I would take the bike away. Also, I would try to help him with perspective taking.
Secondly, 5 years old is not too young for a dx of ADHD. If you truly think he has it, you should pursue it!
The trike went into the garbage yesterday...he had out grown it but liked riding it down the hill...which as it turns out was a bad thing.
Actually when I tried to get him tested by the public school system and a private pychologist they all agreed it is too soon to make such a diagnosis. So I'm waiting as was suggested.
Children will do these kinds of accidentally-on-purpose maneuvers, and yes, it is often little boys who lack impulse control.
Of course, you really could go at him with a bike, but that kind of realism might not be advisable.
::hugs::
Accidentally on purpose is exactly what I meant by he did it on purpose but didn't mean to hurt her! Glad to hear your brothers grew up fine...gives me hope!
As for really going at him with a bike...thank goodness for counting to ten and sending to his room while I dealth with the dog....whew!
....I know when my 3 year old starts getting just a little rough (squeezes too hard or accidently steps on the tail) with my 11 year old beagle it really makes me mad. My beagle was my first baby. I had him before I even met my husband!
Good luck with this situation. I know it's difficult.
This is why I was so angry we do dog rescue and have for almost two years...so not only was he born into a house where from birth he had dogs but we have many dogs here at a time now. He totally knows how to treat them and he is very cautious and gentle with hurt, recovering, disabled dogs and also very young puppies. But I think he doesn't understand that Lucy is old now and can't do the things he grew up doing with her...so he doesn't understand that he needs to now treat her that way as well.
He did admit to me today that although the trike was definitely bad luck he shouldn't have rode up so close to her. He admitted that although he didn't try to hit her he was trying to ride up and stop right next to her and he missed and ran her over. He is sorry and has been very remorseful about it today....but I still think he doesn't quite get how much he hurt her. But hopefully he learned a lesson. As for Lucy when he goes near her she looks the other way and isn't wagging her tail....she used to wag away and get all excited for him to give her a hug or pet. So he feels really bad about that. Turns out Lucy is making him feel more guilty than I did yesterday...she's a great dog!
Try not to flip when I say this - but maybe he is feeling jealous of the dog?
It still is not an excuse. My stepson was diagnosed with ADHD at 6 - it's not too young.
One of the hallmarks of ADHD is not accepting responsibility and blaming others. My stepson would swear the cat ate the cookies with the crumbs on his face and he would steal things and then blame it on his sister. All kids will try to lie to get out of trouble - especially if it's a big deal like this one is - but even though you realize the behavior is age appropriate does not mean you can go easy.
I think everyone had excellent ideas about teaching him the consequence of his actions - that is a must do. How about explaining to him that you won't be able to afford special things for a while because of the large vet bill - IE no snacks, movies, etc....
Or how about making him do chores to "earn" some money to help pay back - like $100....rake leaves, empty trash - fold towels.....
and maybe going to bed early for a week for lying.....
I feel for you about being angry - I have 4 children - 16 down to 5 and sometimes there is no number I can count to that will calm me down!
Good luck - how you handle this will set the tone!
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