What to do in this situation....if anything (babysit, method, baby)
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I was the "talker" in my classes when I was younger, no amount of time outs, or having my desk shoved into a corner wall would shut me up. I learned later how to be quite, lol, but until your son learns that then he will just talk and talk and talk anyway. I wouldn't worry too much on it but I wouldn't let the teachers or tae kwon do guy let him be too harsh on him. I don't know if being in an advanced class would help or not but maybe you can talk to a counselor and see what they say.
Too many people these days, and back in mine I guess, won't let kids be kids. Granted yes, he should learn to be quite but he is 8.
He is EXACTLY the kid they should be putting into more difficult classes.
One question: When he starts talking in class at school does he talk about the subject or something else entirely? (If they're studying history does he talk about history or something else entirely? Like what he ate for breakfast that morning.)
^^^ This. As long as the talking is appropriate to the class, the teachers need to lighten up. If he was placed in the more difficult class, he wouldn't have as much time to chat, right?
The martial arts thing is a little different. It really is about self discipline, and the instructor gets to set the mood there.
Poor little guy, I happen to love exuberance in kids.
He's testing at a 7th grade level. Last year just for kicks because my son was complaining about doing "baby work" his teacher let him go to the 5th grade class for a week. That was a highlight of his year. He didn't talk and was actively engaged in the class. The 5th grade teacher said except for social studies and handwriting, he was in the top third of her class. I didn't have any problems with him doing the homework either because he thought it "was on his level".
Suggest you get a moment with your son and explain to him that "everyone knows he is smart", "that there are times it is appropriate to talk and times it is not appropriate", and "he is smart enough to know the difference" You might also mention that his talking is disturbing to other children and it makes it hard for the teacher/instructor to keep the class moving on, AKA he is not "helping" the teacher, students, etc. And that you expect him to find a way to do better.
Also suggest that you make some sort of reward system for him to keep for himself for each time that he wants to talk but he refrains. Tallymarks on his notebook or something, I don't know.
I love kids like your son, I had one of similar behavior. But in the long run he is only going to hurt himself, if he keeps this up. And don't fool yourself lol, this is the child's attempts to exert control and power or maybe gain attention.
He's testing at a 7th grade level. Last year just for kicks because my son was complaining about doing "baby work" his teacher let him go to the 5th grade class for a week. That was a highlight of his year. He didn't talk and was actively engaged in the class. The 5th grade teacher said except for social studies and handwriting, he was in the top third of her class. I didn't have any problems with him doing the homework either because he thought it "was on his level".
Based on this, I would push to get him bumped up a grade. Obviously the harder classwork agrees with him.
Regarding the martial arts, I would probably try to find an activity that encourages socializing, like Boy Scouts. It seems like the Tae Kwon Doe class is just one more place where he has to stifle his natural urges. He's a boy, he should allowed to BE a boy, at least sometimes.
My son will be 8 this month. He has, according to others, a huge problem keeping his mouth shut. His teachers complain about his talking, his tae kwon do instructor complains about his talking, and I even complain about his talking (sometimes my ears just get so tired of listening to what he is going to build) and it is really wearing me down. On one hand, I remember when I was a kid, we had the talkers, the class clowns, the class bully, and everything in between and we all survived and learned. What is wrong with talking because you are excited to learn something new in tae kwon do? I guess I am losing patience with people who put kids into boxes and expect them to be seen but not heard at all times. He is respectful, very bright, eager to learn, and thrives on attention (probably from being an only kid), but never seems to fit the right cookie cutter.
There is a wide range of normal and I guess I am tired of trying to shove him into a mold that suits others. He really only talks when he's bored or excited (both happen quite often during the day...lol). He is testing way above grade level but because of his talking the school will not put him in a more appropriate class. He just got promoted to intermediate class in tae kwon do but now the instructor is threatening to move him back to beginner because of his talking. I'm really not trying to make excuses for him and his seeming lack of self control but then again, I wonder how much self control one really has at this age. I was always the quiet one, my friends were like my son and couldn't be quiet to save their life. I was not called "normal" and them "problem children".
Does anyone have experience with talkative children? Is this normal for martial arts classes to be so demanding of children or is this guy just on a power trip? The instructor was really nice and was trying to help my son learn "self control" while in beginner class but now expects him to act like an adult in intermediate class.
I admit to not reading every response, but I'll give my initial impression. At age eight your son should be able to exhibit some impulse control and should be able to be quiet when asked to do so, and to pick up on social cues - such as those in a martial arts class, that quiet self discipline is the norm here.
He could well be very smart. He also could have ADHD.
There is a simple test - one version for the parent and one for the teacher. I think you can find it online.
It's called the Conner Scale - or something to that effect. If you Google "Conner" and ADHD, it will come up.
Several of the questions relate to talking. One I think is "My child talks constantly" or "as if driven by a motor.
Take the test and see what you think. It may not be something that he can control.
Having ADHD does not mean that he is not smart. In fact children with ADHD seem to consistently test in the high average to superior range.
It does not mean special classes or special ed. It might mean that he will have the right to seek reasonable accommodations in high school and college.
These accommodations will become increasingly important as your son becomes older.
He's testing at a 7th grade level. Last year just for kicks because my son was complaining about doing "baby work" his teacher let him go to the 5th grade class for a week. That was a highlight of his year. He didn't talk and was actively engaged in the class. The 5th grade teacher said except for social studies and handwriting, he was in the top third of her class. I didn't have any problems with him doing the homework either because he thought it "was on his level".
OK your clue is the fact that when he was challenged he shut up.
What your son is doing is VERY common among super-smart kids who are sitting in a classroom where they aren't being challenged. And I have a lot of experience with that.
This probably isn't a matter of a bratty kid with no discipline. This is a kid who is smart and excited about learning. Asking him (or expecting him) to shut up would be like asking the sun not to shine. Some kids just talk. He'll grow up to be the adult who talks and is enthusiastic. Unfortunately, the school system isn't geared to that kid so you'll have to figure out a way to get him into more advanced classes. You do that and I think you'll find a lot of the talking complaints from the teacher go away. A great teacher who is used to teaching smart kids is going to LIKE having your son in his class. Not punish him for being chatty. If you can accomplish that I think it will be like night and day for your son.
Tae Kwon Do: You son is enjoying himself and the atmosphere. But not all kids are cut out for martial arts discipline. We pulled two of ours out of Tae Kwon Do and put them into baseball where chatting is encouraged. The coaches loved them. If they had to drop and do 20 it was because they missed a grounder.
Don't give up and don't let "them" break his spirit and joy. My middle son got so much detention for talking in the first grade I just fit that into the schedule. Once these kids are put in the right environment they fit in better. It's not your son. It's the fact that he's a smart little kid. Yes, he needs to learn to be respectful and not talk in class. But once he's too busy learning new things to talk that will take care of itself.
Celebrate him! You could have the next Mission Control specialist when we land on Venus. (I know for a fact that room was full of people who were the kid who never shut up.)
Last edited by DewDropInn; 08-07-2012 at 04:11 PM..
There were 15 children on behavioral contracts in his class. He is the top of his class academically and the teacher even asked him to help with tutoring other kids in math and reading.
Well . . . evidently the "helping" wasn't going so well if the teacher complained about it. You are the one who relayed that he gets in trouble and his behavior is considered disruptive when he is "helping" or "replying to someone else," etc.
You obviously know you have a child who doesn't understand filtering, boundaries and appropriate interaction in group settings. His excited utterances are disruptive!
You have already been told that his inability to follow class rules (no talking, no sidebar comments, respectful attitudes) is keeping him out of classes that may be more academically challenging.
Instead of finding fault with how teachers/instructors are handling your son's inability to follow class rules, shouldn't you be figuring out how to encourage your son to better filter his responses and stop with the attention seeking behavior?
Martial arts is about self control and discipline.
Your son is not acting in an appropriate manner. Not every single thing in life requires a comment. You need to help your son learn this. It is not his job to explain the assignment to everyone else. He has got to learn when it is appropriate to talk and when it is not. You need to get on board with teaching him. 8 is plenty old enough to learn when to shut up.
This precisely.
Also, OP, the behavior you describe, for his age, is NOT 'acting like a normal little kid.' Kids much younger than him are able to exhibit some impulse control.
I would echo what another poster suggested and institute a reward system for starters.
I think Dew is on to something here. The kid is bored, is excited to learn, and wants to be challenged. If his behavior improved when he was challenged with 5th grade work, then I think you have your answer right there.
I have a chatterbox also. Mine is still young though, and at the age where most people think it's cute. When she's 8, I'm sure it won't be so cute. So far, she's been indulged by daycare providers and instructors. She'd rather sit and converse with them than the other children, and they've always accomodated her to a certain extent, then told her it was time to go play with her friends. But I worry that when she starts real school, I'm going to have the same problem you're having. Teachers are there to teach, not babysit and coddle. When something is disrupting their teaching, it is naturally a problem for them. Which is why it seems the teachers at your son's school should be breaking their necks to find appropriate placement for your son, to make things better for themselves and him as well.
I also had a cousin who was very, very obnoxious and disruptive in school. He was a constant discipline problem, and administrators wanted to have him moved to a class for children with behavior problems or a special ed class. Turns out, he was gifted and bored to death in class, and found himself with nothing to do to amuse himself other than be a clown. One teacher saw this and fought for him to go into gifted classes, and once there, the problems went away. He is a doctor now.
If your 8 year old is testing at a 7th grade level, there's no question that he needs to be in an environment that will challenge him and not dampen his spirit and love of learning. As far as tai kwon do, he does need to know when speaking out is not appropriate, and if he cannot control himself and the teacher is not willing to tolerate it, I would do as others have suggested...find another sport or hobby that he can express himself freely.
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(I know for a fact that room was full of people who were the kid who never shut up.)
