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Certainly no shame, but most job titles stem from your primary duties.
I clean the lab up at the end of the day but I am not a custodian, same with SAHM. It is understood to include other things besides direct parenting but those are not the defining characteristic of the "job". And job titles reflect the defining characteristic.
Based on that, SAHM is probably most applicable. So while SAHM and housewife may overlap, they are actual distinct sets. Sort of like the classic venn diagram.
Totally subjective, of course. I just don't see the need to emphatically state that one did NOT stay home to take care of home and husband. Doth lady protest too much and all that...
Totally subjective, of course. I just don't see the need to emphatically state that one did NOT stay home to take care of home and husband. Doth lady protest too much and all that...
I can emphatically state that when I was a SAHM I did not stay home to take care of house and husband. I stayed to take care of my daughter, and my sibs (to some degree as only one wasn't in school already). To the degree that I had a housekeeper to do that stuff. Just because I wasn't working I didn't fire the housekeeper, though once my kids were in school we no longer had one. My husband, is an adult, he can take care of himself and did, as well as cooking dinner most of the time. Considering how evenly we split the housework, then and now, I cannot say I took care of the house, the family takes care of the house.
So for some of us, yes EMPHATICALLY, we did not stay home to take care of the house and hubby, it was already being taken care of.
I can emphatically state that when I was a SAHM I did not stay home to take care of house and husband. I stayed to take care of my daughter, and my sibs (to some degree as only one wasn't in school already). To the degree that I had a housekeeper to do that stuff. Just because I wasn't working I didn't fire the housekeeper, though once my kids were in school we no longer had one. My husband, is an adult, he can take care of himself and did, as well as cooking dinner most of the time. Considering how evenly we split the housework, then and now, I cannot say I took care of the house, the family takes care of the house.
So for some of us, yes EMPHATICALLY, we did not stay home to take care of the house and hubby, it was already being taken care of.
I don't have a housekeeper and I do, to an extent, take care of my husband. Due to the nature of his job, he is unable to do many things he otherwise would do and/or I decide to do for him because I want to.
I don't have a housekeeper and I do, to an extent, take care of my husband. Due to the nature of his job, he is unable to do many things he otherwise would do and/or I decide to do for him because I want to.
No one said otherwise and that is of course your choice. But just because you CHOSE that, does not mean it is ok to cast aspersions by claiming "we protest too much" on those of us who are very clear about stating why we chose what we chose.
No one said otherwise and that is of course your choice. But just because you CHOSE that, does not mean it is ok to cast aspersions by claiming "we protest too much" on those of us who are very clear about stating why we chose what we chose.
Personally, I think you are making a mountain of a molehill by protesting so much that you do not take care of home and husband, like I said before. But that is not the same as casting aspersions.
I chose what I chose primarily because of money reasons - makes no sense for me to work when most of that money would be going to daycare anyway. So, does that somehow mean I'm not really a sahm, more of a stay at home money saver?
I like the word "woman" - I do not define myself by having children "Woman" should suffice.
I do not stay at home very much either and I have interests other than my children.
I also agree with Magritte that working does not always make financial sense. Some woman run away from their children to a job so that they can get away from the family for a while.
Frequently the families just break even and the children - what ever age they are suffer.
A bit off topic but so many woman go back to work when their kids are teenagers. I can not think of a worse time to do this!
I like the word "woman" - I do not define myself by having children "Woman" should suffice.
Sure, basically, I'm a woman but I'm more than that. I am a wife, a mother, a sister, an aunt, a daughter, a granddaughter, a friend, a neighbor, an advocate, etc. I don't feel these terms take away from my womanhood, rather they add to it.
Personally, I think you are making a mountain of a molehill by protesting so much that you do not take care of home and husband, like I said before. But that is not the same as casting aspersions.
Maybe you do not understand the phrase "the lady doth protest too much, methinks". Because it clearly is used to imply that someone is speaking untruthfully or in opposition to what they are actually saying. And is definitely insulting to ones character.
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I chose what I chose primarily because of money reasons - makes no sense for me to work when most of that money would be going to daycare anyway. So, does that somehow mean I'm not really a sahm, more of a stay at home money saver?
And I chose to stay home with my kids even though I made much more than the cost of daycare. So what? I am not sure why you keep insisting that when we say we chose our children we are being dishonest (again, maybe you do not know what the phrase means). But it was especially important to me that my daughter know that I stayed home for her, not to do laundry or cook meals or anything house related.
Maybe you do not understand the phrase "the lady doth protest too much, methinks". Because it clearly is used to imply that someone is speaking untruthfully or in opposition to what they are actually saying. And is definitely insulting to ones character.
And I chose to stay home with my kids even though I made much more than the cost of daycare. So what? I am not sure why you keep insisting that when we say we chose our children we are being dishonest (again, maybe you do not know what the phrase means). But it was especially important to me that my daughter know that I stayed home for her, not to do laundry or cook meals or anything house related.
Whoa! No I didn't say you were being dishonest. I just thought the protestations were strong because you felt there was something wrong with taking care of house and husband.
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